April 11, 2007, - 11:05 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Poor Larry Birkhead. He finally gets his day in the sun as the soon-to-be wealthiest sperm donor in America (and the Bahamas).
But his DNA test results are replaced by the national debate over whether a certain ethnic DNA (which includes White basketball players) causes nappy hair and sexual promiscuity. Don Imus took away Larry’s moment, and he is now “scarred”–and set–for life.
The identity of the Pops Trash was rapidly eclipsed by several sullen-faced, overly melodramatic women auditioning for the remake of “Beaches,” Amazon edition.
These women–who seemed to be basking in their 15 minutes of fame quite exuberantly for women claiming to be upset by it–tried so hard to seem glum, it was hard to tell if I was watching a press conference . . . or extras tryouts for the Lifetime Channel’s latest angry-women-done-wrong-by-the-White-man movie of the week, big-and-tall-size.
Who are Essence Carson, Heather Zurich, and C. Vivian Stringer? Before Monday, we’d never heard of them. After all, they play in a college sport no-one on earth cares about: women’s basketball, which has a popularity level lower than the XFL (pro-wrestling’s failed football league, which didn’t last a full season). And these women weren’t even the champions. They lost.
But now, even though we don’t want to, we know their names, while we don’t even know–and couldn’t care less about–the names of the women on the team (University of Tennessee Volunteers) that beat them and actually won the NCAA women’s basketball championship.
Sounds to me like they owe Donald Imus a big thank you. He put them on the map, to the point that we know more of their names than we do pro women’s hoops players. The WNBA President was so jealous that even she had to insert herself into the controversy by piling on with her Imus condemnation.
It’s difficult to hear players like Heather Zurich–who is White, by the way, so could hardly be personally “scarred for life” by the racial part of Imus’ insult–say, with feigned seriousness:
Our moment was taken away. We were stripped of this moment by the degrading comments made by Mr. Imus.
Moment? What moment? Her team LOST the NCAA championship. Hard to believe that Don Imus took away their chance to celebrate being first loser in women’s college basketball. He actually gave them a moment–actually way more than the standard Warhol-esque 15–that they never would have had. How many losers–let alone, winners–of women’s basketball, even in the WNBA, get a fraction of the attention these women have gotten?
Ditto for similar comments by Rutgers women’s coach Stringer, who told NBC’s Brian Williams that she would give up the championship in exchange for not feeling so hurt. But, wait a second, she didn’t win the championship. And yet, she seemed to be enjoying more media glory and exposure than Pat Summitt, the woman whose team actually won.
Sorry, but it’s hard to watch these women claim they’re “scarred forever,” when I don’t feel scarred for life. For muscular, masculine women, these girls are pretty soft. Perhaps their team motto should be:
Sticks, stones, and names.
I get called far worse names than Imus called these women. But you don’t see me demanding the total silencing of my attackers. It’s rare if I even respond, except to laugh.
And here’s what Dapper Don and his phony crotchety populist cowboy routine featured about members of my ethnic and religious group:
* “boner-nosed, beanie-wearing Jewboy”
* “thieving Jews”
* “money-grubbing bastards”
I’d say those are as bad–and probably worse–than what Imus said about a basketball team.
But you never saw a failed group (remember, the Rutgers hoopster-ettes LOST) of yarmulke-wearing, er . . . “beanie-wearing” Jews in the financial district holding a press conference about how they were scarred for life or how they lost “their moment” of loserdom, how Imus took them away from their chance to celebrate a financial loss– despite their supposed “grubbing”–by calling them names.
You don’t see a yarmulke, er . . . “beanie-wearing” Rabbi Alan Sharpowitz and Cantor Jesse Jackstein demanding Imus’ ouster.
But, as we all know, we do see the fraternal twin Reverends, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson–who are identical in their out-Imusing Imus in bigotry–playing their traditional roles as the masters of the circus, with Imus pathetically groveling through their hoops.
But Sharp and Jack aren’t the only ones getting in on the act. This exposed meat is far too attractive to be left alone by the rest of their ilk.
Congresswoman Caroline Cheeks-Kilpatrick–who made racist comments against White people to get her son Kwame re-elected as the pimp-daddy Mayor of Detroit–stuck her finger in the Imus frosting, too.
This is the same woman who told Black voters that “y’all need to re-elect our boy” (meaning our Black people’s hood-esque candidate–his opponent was half White), while her husband compared their son’s re-election campaign “suffering” to the Holocaust and its death camps. Some people have no shame. This is also the same race-tolerant chick who won’t allow Whites to join the Congressional Black Caucus.
And the stupid, misinformed indignance isn’t just reserved for one race on this issue. On ABC’s “The View,” resident airhead and pseudo-”conservative,” Elisabeth Hasselbeck, heartily cheered on Al Sharpton and his antics in the face of aghast liberals Barbara Walters and Joy Behar. But, later in the week, once the peroxided ditz received her talking points, she finally discovered America . . . and Sharpton and Jackson for whom her new race-merchant heroes really are. I thought she was stuck on “Survivor” for only a month. Who knew it was actually 30 years?
But my favorite party, by far, entering the fray is the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). In their press release, today, CAIR decried Imus’ comments against Blacks and Jews, which is just plain hilarious, since they defend Islamic terrorist groups’ rights to murder both of these groups in cold blood in the Middle East and Africa.
What happens in Sudan and Ramallah, stays in Sudan and Ramallah?
Then, there is CAIR’s statement that:
No advertiser who seeks customers, and no guest who wants to maintain his or her credibility, should have anything to do with a host who has such a long history of bigoted and racist comments. We all value the First Amendment right to free speech, but the listening and viewing public has no obligation to reward, or support those who reward the promotion of hatred and intolerance.”
CAIR’s statement is part of the group’s ongoing “Hate Hurts America” campaign designed to counter hate speech on talk radio.
Hmmm . . . Since CAIR-Michigan’s Executive Director Dawud Walid sent out an e-mail calling me a “Shyster“–which is to “Jewish Lawyer” what “Nappy-headed Ho’” is to “Black Woman”–one thing is for sure:
CAIR doesn’t care about intolerance, Don Imus, or the basketballerettes.
Like all the other opportunists, this is strictly about hitching a ride on the giant race-merchant’s gravy train.
As baby-daddy Larry Birkhead knows, only DNA tests tell the truth, anymore, in America.
Tags: ABC, Africa, Al Sharpton, Alan Sharpowitz, Amazon, America, Barbara Walters, basketball, Brian Williams, C. Vivian Stringer, Cantor Jesse Jackstein, Caroline Cheeks-Kilpatrick, coach, Council on American-Islamic Relations, Dawud Walid, Debbie Schlussel Poor, Detroit, Don Imus, Don Imus But, Don Imus Got, Donald Imus, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Essence Carson, executive director, football, Heather Zurich, Jesse Jackson, Joy Behar, Kwame, Larry Birkhead, lawyer, Lifetime Channel, Michigan, Middle East, NBC, NCAA, Pat Summitt, Pimp Daddy Mayor, Rabbi, Ramallah, Rutgers, Sudan, the Bahamas, The View, Ultrasone (PRO 750) Professional Headphones, University of Tennessee Volunteers, WNBA President, XFL