November 17, 2009, - 11:09 am

Ban Single Moms From the U.S. Military

By Debbie Schlussel

I’ve always been against women in the military, except in clerical and USO-style positions because there is little upside and a whole lot of downside.  They get pregnant, and they’re of no use after that, or a poor baby suffers with some other caregiver.    Or other “spectacular” results:  we have Army cooks, like Shoshanna Johnson, in the war zone, and they get kidnapped in Iraq.  Then, when we do something about it and risk other soldiers to find the women and get them back in a way we’d never do for male soldiers.  And then they repay us by attacking other soldiers on CNN’s “Larry King Live” and defending Islamic terrorists like Nidal Malik Hassan.

alexishutchinson

Spc. Alexis Hutchinson: Using Her Baby Mama Status to Get Out of Duty

Or we have incompetent soldiers like Jessica Lynch, who–after a ton of training–still don’t know how to load firearms correctly and use them, can’t read a map, and get lost.  Then, we repeat by blowing our battle and security plans in order to find and rescue the female soldier. And they–at least, in Lynch’s case–get an undeserved affirmative-action-for-vulvas Bronze Star (and other unearned accolades and awards).

But those complaints don’t even take into consideration soldiers like Spc. Alexis Hutchinson, who are single mothers and jeopardize their kids’ well being if they go to war.  Statistics show that a large number of female soldiers in the military are, indeed, single mothers, likely with no father figure in their kids’ lives.  That’s bad enough.  What happens if they die?  What happens if they refuse to go when called up to go to war, using their kids as an excuse?

That’s what’s happening in Hutchinson’s case.  Her story shows how much our military is hampered by and bends over backward for single mothers in its ranks.  It’s absurd.

An Army cook and single mom is confined to her base in Georgia and may face criminal charges for skipping her deployment flight to Afghanistan in order to take care of her infant son.

Spc. Alexis Hutchinson, 21, who was arrested by military police Nov. 6, claims she had no choice but to refuse deployment orders when her mother was unable to care for her 10-month-old son, Kamani.

Her civilian attorney, Rai Sue Sussman, alleges that one of Hutchinson’s superiors at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Ga., told her she would have to deploy anyway and place the child in foster care.

No charges have been filed, but Kevin Larson, a spokesman for the Army post, says commanders are investigating, the Associated Press says.

Larson says he does not know what Hutchinson’s commanders may have said, but that the Army would not deploy a single parent who had nobody to care for a child.

Savannah’s WTOC -TV reports that Larson calls some of the statements from the Hutchinson camp “misleading” and says that the Army gave her an additional 30 days to work out a plan when her initial child care arrangements fell through.

At the time of Hutchinson’s arrest, Kamani, was placed into custody overnight with a daycare provider on the post, Larson says.

Yup, you’re paying for full-time parents for single mothers in the military. It’s like paying double or triple for one largely useless soldierette.  Are Army cooks such a hot commodity that the military is willing to go through all of this?  This is the military, NOT Jean George or even Nobu.

It’s time to ban single mothers–and perhaps any mothers of kids younger than their teens–from the military. It clearly exacts more costs and bureaucratic BS than it’s worth. And it harms the kids even more than they’re already harmed without having a father in their lives.

There is no benefit to having single mothers in the U.S. armed forces. Period.

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110 Responses

I am a female veteran; my husband was a lifer; I got out to have children & am totally opposed to both parents being active duty. Obviously if the child is unfortunate enough to have only 1 parent, that parent should not be in the military.

Max on November 17, 2009 at 11:18 am

Well Max, I think there are positions women can fill in non-combat zones.
My Ex husband had been ROTC in college and during NAM lucked out to get AG Corps. Why on Earth does a male who is combat qualified have to fill a pretty “suit?” Those are positions women can fill. I think it’s fine for a woman to serve in these spots especially if the alternative, kid or no, is welfare or unemployment or a minimum wage, no skill job. Spc. Hutchinson SHOULD Be allowed to remain in and she should be put in a position that some guy has so that he can go to the war zone.

MK750 on November 17, 2009 at 11:32 am

    I think that you forget two important things. She had her child by choice and without a father around. I did not hear about this woman being raped or anything. The military is not a large entitlement program, but for national defense. This woman made some very bad decisions, and she has not really had to pay for them. Also, when you get an ever larger group of “soldiers” who cannot deploy, it puts an additional burden on those who are capable of performing their duties as agreed to. In Afghanistan and Iraq, we have had military personnel going on longer and more frequent tours of duty. These far more valuable people get worn out and begin to wonder what they got themselves into when they see people like Spc. Alexis Hutchinson getting such preferential treatment. The people who get overused and abused will eventually leave the military, and what will be left are the Spc. Alexis Hutchinson types and people with other dysfunctions.

    Worry01 on November 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm

      “This woman made some very bad decisions, and she has not really had to pay for them”
      REALLY! The rest of her life revolves around this child and she’s decided to care for it instead of having it’s LIFE sucked out of her or aborting it using a pill!
      Not only her life, but the father’s life is messed with forever. That’s a lot for people to digest……..
      Getting a clue would be apropo for many people.

      BlueStarMom on June 26, 2010 at 9:05 pm

I feel women who have small children or plan on having babies shouldn’t serve in the army period. Those who do become pregnant on duty should be immediately discharged as well for their partners responsible for their pregnancy. Perhaps sexual relations in the military should be outlawed as well.

Ginger on November 17, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Sexual realations? Are you kidding? Are you even in the military? Do you know how many men cheat on their wives when they go out to sea? Bet u don’t. I do! Lots! That’s mostly why they’re there. It’s very sad I may add, that a man whom took vows, would so easily break them for a piece of quick ass! But it happens so often. So for you to think that they would ban sexual relations, you must be smoking that good shit. The Navy is known for drunks and sex on the boat. It’s in their songs for Christ sakes. All I can say to u is, never marry a sailor.

    Kimmy on May 18, 2010 at 12:00 am

A single parent is not a good fit for military life. The military is like no other career. It demands all your time, energy and devotion. And if you can’t give that – then you shouldn’t be serving in it.

NormanF on November 17, 2009 at 11:47 am

    I agree with all the single mothers. If they only knew how hard it was to be one, maybe they’d grow some balls and join, because it’s easy for someone who doesn’t have kids to say some BS like that. All I can say for you is that if your parents strapped up that day, you wouldn’t be here. So shut the f@#% up!!!!!!!

    Kimmy on May 17, 2010 at 11:54 pm

But this is the beauty of diversity! Women are equal! (pardon me while I vomit). Toss the uterus out on her single mother ass. Unfit to serve.

#1 Vato on November 17, 2009 at 11:50 am

MK, In the Israeli army, women fill instructor, mechanic and support roles so the men can do what they do best: go off and fight in a war. They aren’t placing women in harms’ way in order to ensure “diversity” in the military. I think the US brass forget why we have armed forces in the first place: its not to make people feel good about themselves but to defend the country.

NormanF on November 17, 2009 at 11:51 am

    ???? ????????

    Shalom From Jerusalem, Norm F :-)

    MK750 on November 17, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    ???? ????????

    Shalom From Jerusalem, Norm F :-)

    MK750 on November 17, 2009 at 2:10 pm

ISN’T IT POSSIBLE SOME PEOPLE WANT TO ENJOY THE BENEFITS THE MILITARY HAS TO OFFER BUT WHEN THEY’RE TAPPED ON THEIR SHOULDER AND GIVEN A DEPLOYMENT DATE IT BECOMES TIME TO FIND A SPERM DONOR REAL QUICK TO KEEP FROM BEING DEPLOYED. I REMEMBER THE EARLY EIGHTIES IN THE NAVY HOW WOMEN WHO WERE ALLOWED ON SMALL SHIPS AND SUPPLY CARRIERS WOULD USE THEIR BODIES FOR PROSPERTY OR GET PREGNANT IN ORDER TO STAY ON SHORE. I SAY KEEP THEM ON ON AMERICAN SOIL OR DON’T ALLOW THEM IN AT ALL.

seahawker on November 17, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Diversity is the answer.

ha

hoss on November 17, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Hmmmmmmmm find a caregiver for a year deployed or find one for a year in jail and a dishonorable discharge. Yup, she sure made a wise choice. When she gave birth she was to have a deployment caregiver plan in place ASAP. Her plan fell through way before her deployment date. She had plenty of warning and time. Where`s the daddy or his family?

Hermster on November 17, 2009 at 1:13 pm

I agree. Too many women turn into sperm recepticles when it comes time to deploy. Bottom line is, you signed on the dotted line so you are now Govt property. If a single mother gets pregnant, than she should be discharged and her GI Bill should be taken away along with any signing bonus. I know when I was in the Army that if a soldier gets a real bad sunburn and has to go to the TMC, then the Army could give you an Article 15 for ‘Damaging Govt Property’.

James on November 17, 2009 at 1:14 pm

If someone can’s serve in the military but want’s to serve the nation, there are plenty of ways to do that. I worked at NASA for a contractor for about two years. The Gov has lots of jobs including the military which is needs a few good civilians.

The most important title anyone can earn is mommy or daddy. It looks to me like some people are just trying to get free day care, keeping the parent title with none of the day to day responsibilities parenthood comes with. People who can’t handle life’s responsibilities can’t be successful soldiers.

Fred Taub on November 17, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Debbie you are right again. I really hate that photo. like she is the only person on earth who has to deal with taking care of a child.

CaliforniaScreaming on November 17, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    I would agree with you. That woman should never have entered the military. But, it is the government’s fault for not taking a strict line on such things as becoming impregnated before deployment. Also, it is pretty telling that no father was mentioned in the article. Where is that character? Spc. Alexis Hutchinson deserves nothing more than a General Discharge from the Army and forfeiture of all benefits.

    Worry01 on November 19, 2009 at 1:15 am

But don’t you see, she is a twofer. Black and Female. Brings those numbers way up. Once they allow homosexuals, then black, female and lesbian will be the ticket to the highest reaches of military command!!!

Smarty on November 17, 2009 at 2:33 pm

While serving in the USMC many moons ago, I noticed this trend with the females about using pregnancy as a way to get out of duty. Many times we had guys that had just got done doing a 6 month deployment had to do another one 6 months later because the female that was supposed to deploy could not because of her pregnancy. I am no misogynist but I agree with Debbie that a lot of the clerical or administrative duties should be given to either single, not pregnant females.Many of these advocates for females in EVERY MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) do not realize that the military is not just another 9 to 5 like in the civilian world

Mario on November 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Oh Waaa. Nice heart string photo…eh?

Single Parents are already restricted from service in the Army.

They cannot join

Joining under fraudulent conditions, that is say they are single and regain custody of the child are grounds for discharge.

Unmarried soldiers who become parents have to have a child care plan that supports deployment. This must be approved by the Commander. Failure to do so is also cause for discharge.

Looks like this soldier failed to comply and also missed deployment. The story does say if the soldier is a Reservist.
Reserve units aren’t always as well disciplined as Active Duty.

Also, What qualifications does civilain attorney have to address the Uniform Code Of Military Justice (UCMJ)?

Sam Adams on November 17, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Shalom MK, from Colorado :)

NormanF on November 17, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Wow, that is a suprise!! I didn’t know the Army still had cooks! I thought those positions had been contracted our many years ago.

On the other hand, there was no reason for this female soldier to refuse to deploy, the Army offers a pregnancy chapter that allows a female soldier to separate while pregnant. Will even cover the medical and birth. The soldier could of still asked for the option to be chaptered for not having a family-care plan, normally granted. The best thing the command could of done was to chapter this soldier, it can be done involuntarily with now harm to a persons record.

Matt on November 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm

Debbie. Telling it like it is. LOVE IT!

Skunky on November 17, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Isn’t feminism great. Isn’t a great that we have destroyed any form of a patriarchy. I don’t remember any patriarch sending women into the military and then training men to see women raped so they become desensitized to it. Because after all a man can be raped too and I’m sure our enemies will consult the EEOC when they capture a woman to make sure she is treated EQUAL to a male POW. I’m sure they are afraid of the EEOC.

adam on November 17, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Pure stupidity…this “soldier” is so irresponsible! First of all she has a child with a man she is not even married to…way to go. Why can’t the dad watch the baby? Where the hell is he? Obviously she has no clue what the military is about either. When you sign up you know that there is a chance you are going to get deployed…especially since we have been at war the entire time this moron has been in. Did she ever think about that when she decided to sleep around and get pregnant? Either she is a complete idiot or she got pregnant on purpose. I am a female veteran and I think she is an embarrassment. Boohoo with her picture – I don’t feel sorry for her.

Angela04 on November 18, 2009 at 1:09 am

Debbie…I agree 1000 percent with your comments about women in the military. Blame it on effeminates in the chain of command over the decades. Allow gays to manage anything and it turns to sh*t. I have to commend Spc. Alexis Hutchinson, however for sticking to her guns and refusing to leave her son. Praise the Lord!! She’ll be lucky though if the chain of command doesn’t order her and her son to Afghanistan

joesixpack31 on November 18, 2009 at 2:17 am

Yeah we’ve seen how well single moms serve. How the military keeps this practice is beyond me. Combat ready force or what?

I’ve seen first hand how many women SERVE and it wasn’t honorably when it came right down to it. Prego asap husbands getting cheated on left and right. I have always hated having them around because they breed discontent in a unit. They have a commodity and know how to use it.

They have been using the military for years and during wartime it’s simply disgraceful. Funny how few females I saw at Camp Lejeune when I was there. Could be they stay the hell away from a organization that will always see action.

Joe on November 18, 2009 at 6:44 am

    What’s funny is all of the women that I saw at camp Camp Lejeune when I was their. One thing they tell women their is if they are pregnant when they get there or not they will serve.

    Kate on November 29, 2009 at 2:25 am

    This is why your wife cheated on you. It’s okay just let the pain out.

    Kate on November 29, 2009 at 2:40 am

Another angle here is how she became a single mom. Was she actually married at one time and divorced? Was she a drunken slut that got pregnant by some whacked out “baller”? Point is that becoming pregnant with no ring should always be “Conduct Unbecoming” and reason for separation from service. Not p.c. but the military should be able to enforce that for good reason.

Joe on November 18, 2009 at 6:51 am

    Joe you should really stop channeling your broken childhood onto others. Everyone lets take up a slut donation to keep his mother off of the streets.

    Kate on November 29, 2009 at 2:35 am

Well, it seems once again their are a lot of simple minded people talking about issues they know nothing about. I venture to guess, Debbie that you probably never served ONE day in uniform and furthermore you probably wouldn’t have the guts to do so. I myself am a single mother serving in the Military, and have always provided very well for my daughter both financially and physically. I have been deployed, and have also been stationed state side. In either event my daughter has always been well taken care of, and is incredibly well adjusted and smart. I have NEVER used my single parent status, to dodge or get out of any of my duties. In fact, the military has provided a way for me to already have a LARGE majority of my daughter’s college education paid for, and I have never paid one cent towards her medical care. I strongly believe that women, as well as single PARENTS (not just mothers) can and do serve a vital purpose in today’s military. Although, I don’t agree that it is the right decision for every single parent, I believe it is incredibly UNFAIR and IGNORANT to stereotype all of us!!

Tara on November 18, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    You actually fit it quite well. Did you have your unfathered child before or after you joined the military?

    Worry01 on November 19, 2009 at 1:34 am

      Just because your mother couldn’t raise you and gave you to the circus doesn’t mean that all single parents are bad. Give your mom a break and let the healing begin. :~)

      Kate on November 29, 2009 at 2:29 am

    Finally some one who makes sense.

    Kate on November 29, 2009 at 2:26 am

    Hi Tara my name is liz Iam a mother of 4 young children really wanting to join the millitary seeing that your a single mom your self what type of advice can you offer me as far as joining the millitary.I have thought how being in the the service could benifit my children now and in the feature my parents seem to think Im being selfish and only thinking of my self wich I disagree with.I do know what Im getting my self in to ounce I join but they dont believe I do

    Elizabeth Gaytan on December 12, 2009 at 9:08 pm

First, let me say that yes, every single parent in the military should and must have an adequate family care plan. This applies to both male and female single parents. Tara – I appreciate your service and it sounds like you are doing a great job as a mother and servicemember. It’s likely that most of the posters on this page have never served a day in uniform and/or are misogynists. And shame on the other women for taking up the “ban single mothers” ranting! You never know what circumstances brought a woman to be single and pregnant – divorce, death of her partner or rape – or yes, she made it her choice to have a baby while single. She is in the military and knows the consequences of not having an adequate family plan.

I don’t condone what this soldier did; I’m active duty and I served in OIF. I never would have dodged my deployment. There are many proud and dutiful women in uniform who do their job without complaint and wherever needed. And Tara – I’m proud of you as a single mother. The rest of these ignorant idiots will live their life with these judgments – and that is their burden to bear, not yours.

Active_Lady on November 23, 2009 at 4:44 pm

They have women in the military in all places now,
including submarines. Now the women are whining that they have to leave their kids on deployment. What did they think would happen when they joined the military. Do you suppose that they thought of the military as only one more welfare
program? That would be my guess. I feel that if they take a man’s job they should to the man’s job and shut up about it. Of course the news media is always ready to jump on something like that in favor of the women. Women rule!!!

I always think of the time I was traveling on military air a long time ago and a woman pilot was seated not far from me. She was wearing glasses. I remember that when I went through training you had to have perfect eyesight to be a pilot. Not so for the women it seems. Just another example of women takiing over everything.

Retired Vet on November 30, 2009 at 10:31 am

    First, I have to agree with you, as a woman who watched the tide turn from having to outperform (men) (1970s) to keep my job in the information technology industry, to seeing men passed over (1990′s) by truly subperforming or “average” women. It’s a travesty.
    I have a Bachelors and MA in Economics and do not have a mission to “prove” I was equal to a man or wanted a man’s job. Info tech was (and still is) a very “sex neutral” occupation. However, I am honestly appalled that any woman with children would even consider the military or deployment, let alone a single woman with children. Childless women as nurses in the military–OK, but no FOB assignments. I currently volunteer at the NMCRS and am raising my last two kids–teenagers. Teenagers need parents around as much (or more than) elementary children.
    It’s hard enough for a civilian mom to work full time –often to share equally in household income–and resort to putting the kid in childcare full time.

    Margaret Mcintyre on May 3, 2010 at 12:15 am

single parents are banned from enlisting but not from commissioning because of people like this woman. it’s once you’re in that causees a dilemma. and this woman isn’t the typical military mom. most parents go on w/ their duty and obligation and for this woman to refuse to fulfill her responsibilities as a soldier is an embarressment and shame to all the men and women who are parents AND soldiers, airmen and sailors. i think people who use their children as an excuse should be discharged but you should not punish all the hardworking active duty and reservist parents because of the stupid actions of a few.

afwife on December 21, 2009 at 7:08 pm

WOW FOLKS….FOR ALL WHO THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA….WHAT IF YOU HAD A KID? WHAT IF YOU WERE SINGLE AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANYONE TO CARE FOR YOUR CHILD BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS ARE TOO OLD OR YOU DONT HAVE ANY IMMEDIATE FAMILY IN THE STATES? WHAT IF YOUR FROM THE PHILLIPINES AND CANT GET YOUR CHILD BACK THERE…WHAT IF YOUR PARENTS ARE DISABLED AND THEY CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.WHAT IF YOU GOT PREGNANT AND YOUR SPOUSE LEAVES YOU? WHAT IF YOU ARE IN THAT ONE PERCENTILE THAT IS ON BIRTH CONTROL AND USE PROTECTION AND GET PREGNANT ANYWAYS? OR YOUR RELIGION DOESNT BELIEVE IN THE USE OF BIRTH CONTROL? So what if you’re a single dad, is this going to affect you too? This needs to be looked at from all different perspectives being one sided isnt acceptable and sexist. .
…….

ABSOLUTELY APPALLED on December 23, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Well you could look at it sooooo many differant ways My soon to be Ex is or was a e-6 now e-5 because he was doing a PFC on his FOB when seven of are gyes were killed now ( With Pants down REALLY) Now I am left with 2 kids and NO EDU sooooo i am looking into the army so I can WORK and get an EDU so I DONT have to be on wellfar I am not a single mom not by choice I just want to provide for my kids and I AND HAVE HEALTH CARE and a stedy pay check lets face it some women have to step up because most men step down and fail to do there duty at home and in the military …..Just trying to make somthing work Jodi.
NOT the JODI

Jodi on January 12, 2010 at 11:52 am

OMG really??? I have never heard such ridiculous comments in my entire life. I am a divorced mother of a 16 month old and have served in the military for over four years. I have deployed and never once complained about the job requirements, such as staying late, excercises, and deployments. This is sickening to hear these comments, because being a yound airman and only 22 years old, I am mature enough to see that I am making something of myself. Atleast your tax money isn’t going toward my hud house, food stamps, or welfare!!!!! I am doing it on my own without your help.. Oh but wait a minute.. your not doing your job without my help!! Everyday I work for your freedom to go to your job, and I have risked my life 365 days at WAR so you can say all this BS that you have commented. I bet not one of you who have these opionions have put the uniform on once in your life!!!

Janie on January 28, 2010 at 2:56 pm

OMG yall make me sick! As a SINGLE mother to two daughters who has serves OUR nation I am soooo sicken with many of the replies!! I love my children, and I dont use them as an excuse to get out of deployments! I have done two already in the last 4 years!!! My children while I am away are well taken care of, the Army DOES make sure we do that! How about single fathers bc YES there are MANY single fathers who serve our country as well! Geta clue people!! Should single parnets just not work! Bc its a JOB!!! I am NOT deployed ALL the time but when I am I got my sh!t together and my girls are safe! I KNOW how to fire my weapon, read a map and be a SOLDIER and I am a COOK where keep in mind 8 out of 10 cooks are MEN! Idiots!

Edith on March 5, 2010 at 10:09 pm

My grandkids too have a mother in the military. Only the situation is a little different. She walked out of their lives 3 yrs. ago, to do the drug, drinking and “fun” live. I have been helping my son raise his 2 little boys since she left them. About 6 months ago, she decided to get her life together , so she joined the Army. Now all of a sudden she wants to fight for custody. She whines all the time about how she misses her kids and she is in the military for her kids,,etc,,,EXCUSE ME,,,,she left her kids 2 1/2 yrs before she ever went into the military!

Linda on March 29, 2010 at 12:02 am

This one is for Debbie. Shut the fuck up you dumb bitch, because I can already tell what kind of boat hoe you would be. You’d be the one in the office giving the Chief a blow job under his desk! Or maybe he doesn’t make enough money for your taste, so maybe it would be an officer. You got some nerve talking about a women who had a child and could go on deployment. That’s like your dumb ass going to a bar, leaving with some guy, and getting pregnant. Did you plan it? Maybe not. Did it happen? Yes. That’s life! Shit happens, and for you to think that the military is so prestigeous is obsurb. The military is made of BAH and dependents. Why do you think so many people join? Because it’s fun? Yea that must be it dummy!

Kimmy on May 18, 2010 at 12:05 am

Debbie have you even served ONE day in the military?…WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! If you aren’t willing to do what I do for the welfare of my child then who the hell are you to say “ban single moms from the military?” Who are you to make such a statement? Who are any of you to judge this MOTHER of doing what she thought was best for her child? I myself, serve the country on active duty all the while being a single mom to my child. How i ended up being a sinlge mother doesnt matter by the way..shes being taken care of..If we werent taken care of the kids you would say we were sorry ass moms and shouldnt be able to have kids. Or better yet you would talk a lot of shit for being on welfare?? What makes you soo much better?? We put our clothes on just like you…and do a job that you and the rest of these people wont do!! Yes, Ive deployed and getting ready to deploy again…AND LETS NOT FORGET..its so you and the rest of these dumb ass people can sit around and say we dont need to be in? Are you guys gonna get up and do it? Just because one person has a problem does not mean that all of us do!

Yolanda on June 27, 2010 at 2:31 pm

I find it insulting that anyone here would say anything about single moms in the military, and specially those who have never served. If you are an military wife that does not count. I am a single mom in the Army and it was the best thing I have ever done. My sons dad still sees him and is some what involved, but I don;t have to worry about if he can pay child support, or how Im going to cover my sons medical bills. My son is so much better off now than we were 2 years ago. My son was 2 when I joined. It was hard to leave him yes, and yes it affects him when I leave for a long time,But I am a good mom still and a good soldier. you don’t have to give up being a soldier just because you have a child. I get off most days by 4. I spend almost all weekends with my son unless Im in the field. I probably see my son more than a full time RN does working at a hospital. I don’t see a form saying they shouldn’t be parents. Plus you can opt to go into the IRR if you don’t want to stay in. Women are just as capable to work in the military as men. How dare any Female or Male say any different. Women can do more than admin too btw, Im military police, Im getting deployed to go to detainee ops, am I unfit cause Im a single mom? NO not at all.

Mel on July 17, 2010 at 3:07 am

I realize this was posted almost a year ago; however I have to leave a comment for those who may visit this page in the future…

My ex-husband and I discussed me joining the military a little over a year before I joined… I went in (with my husbands support)… When I got back from my training, my husband decided he did not want to move away with me… Thus, I became a single mother in the military… Some of you have a great point in saying women abuse the system and become pregnant to avoid deployment… That is very true, it is sad a child would be used in such a way, but it does happen… In this case I believe the woman could have found alternative care, but was scared to leave her son… She was obviously not a well trained solider (these slip thru the cracks from time to time). However, this is not to say all Single parents should be banned from serving our country… Its all about being a responsible solider… My children live with me and when I am gone live with their father… It’s that simple. And guess what… By joining the military, my children are more susceptible to diversity and change than the average child. They are proud of their mother and the quality of our relationship is untouchable because we appreciate each other more… With all this said… Military life is what you make it… A single parent can join the military and perform the job without sacrificing the welfare of their child or dodging deployment… In the end… Respect these women and men single or not who serve to protect you and fight for what they believe in… We are setting better examples for our children than those civilians who settle for miserable jobs or are living off the government… We want our children to see there is more to life than what is in front of them… And us soldiers, Women and Men are brave enough to show them… Think and research before you post such a ridiculous blog… This post goes to show you are not very responsible in your position as a writer as you don’t have enough intelligence to be open minded, and perhaps come up with a resolution to such an unfortunate misuse of our system… who are you to judge.

AnOfficer on July 28, 2010 at 4:59 pm

You are just so arrogant. Who are you to blame all the single mothers in the miltary for what one did? I happen to be a single mom in the united states army. I was 18 years old when I gave birth to my daughter. I raised her on my own. No help from a single person. The military offers so many benefits for my daughter heath care included. Unfortuantely I had to leave my daughter with my parents for a year when she was just 9 months old. I recently returned in June 2010. She was an entirely new person. You dont have to ban single mothers from the military. Its called a family care plan. Even if a man doesnt have one there is a chapter for that. You need to stop being so damn arrogant and be grateful that these men and WOMEN are willing to leave their children to fight for YOUR freedom. You might want to think next time before you post such a riddiclous blog.

Single Mom on September 7, 2010 at 7:29 pm

I am a single mother of two amazing children . I proudly serve my country in the Army , active , I am deployed now.
I fealt sick reading this I must admit. It takes so much work to show someone that no matter the situation you , as a single parent , can hold to your promise of serving. There is no telling what her reasons was , things happen. There are single fathers too , and it can be just as hard for them as for females. We do what we feel in our heart we can do.

Hardcore_Mom007 on November 10, 2010 at 7:15 pm

I dont think that it is fair to say that woman should never be single parents in the military. I am a very successful single parent in the USAF. I have been a combat medic for 6 years. 3 years ago my husband …also active duty had a baby with another woman. It is hard on my children when I am away but they are well taken care of. My children have the life many children will never get. I would never use my children as an excuse to not perform my dutys. I knew my dutys before my children were born. They will respect me in the future and will understand the sacrifice. The very sacrifice that gives you the right to comment on this post. I have a better chance getting hit by a car then dying in combat. For those who are not single mothers…or in the military you really have no business making accusations you dont even understand. I have saved many lives so how dare you tell me I am no asset to a military I have devoted my life to. Disrespectful. Grow up! I am proud to serve and I give my children the best. God watches over me and my family and gives me the strength I need to pull through. I give props to all my military single Moms and dads….it takes a special person to fill that position. Think twice before you judge a class of people based on one person.

Crystal on November 15, 2010 at 7:30 pm

You are the most iggnorant person. This is the most outrageous and STUPID post. I was just a labor coach for my friend (single). She is an outstanding airman, and definatly has a huge role in her career. She works in communications navigation and also was awarded BTZ( below the zone) which means she was promoted because of what a great worker she is. Now I do not encourage having a baby until you are married and ready, but this baby will be taken care of for a long time. He will have medical care, a college tuition, child care and so many more benefits. So try to see from both sides of the fence before you think you have the right to try and ban single moms from the military.

arinn on January 24, 2011 at 12:40 am

How dare civilians speak out against single soldiers in the military! Do you realize that the single soldiers in the military are fighting to give you the right to speak out against us! Do you realize that it is not only hard for the child, but hard for the soldier. Shame on you! We do what we can to give our children a better future especially in this economy! Maybe if our government wasn’t giving themselves extra money just to sit on their buts all day then maybe we wouldnt be using the military as a last resort!

Christina Reeder on April 4, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    “How dare civilians speak out against single soldiers in the military!” ….How dare civilians speak out? Civilians are suppose to be able to look up to soldiers and have respect for them how are we suppose to view these types of soldiers as role-models when they are doing what girls as young as 12 are taught not to do?
    “Do you realize that the single soldiers in the military are fighting to give you the right to speak out against us!” Do you realize that when you join the military your priority should be the military first. In the real world if you skip out on your job at say Starbucks you get fired…. why should this be any different…?
    “Do you realize that it is not only hard for the child, but hard for the soldier.”… Most respectful, classy individuals do realize this and that is why they use their brains and use a condom because they know how difficult it would be on the mother and child to build strong family values while being deployed. Like this individuals and others in the military did not think about this.

    “Shame on you! We do what we can to give our children a better future especially in this economy! Maybe if our government wasn’t giving themselves extra money just to sit on their buts all day then maybe we wouldnt be using the military as a last resort!”… You have just admitted that people join the military as a source of income similar to welfare and other government funded paychecks. This is just wrong. This sort of attitude is not what Americas military is suppose to be about. They are suppose to be supporting their country and fighting for the country not focused on their kids ABC’s.

    I have never in a million years thought I would hear stories about the military and actually lose respect for it. But after reading things like this and actually meeting individuals who manipulate the service and what it has to offer I get more and more mad over it. These individuals plaster a bad name for our country and it’s sad that people have decided to manipulate it.

    meghan on April 28, 2011 at 6:05 am

First off,I did serve(3 deployments) and I do have the right to criticize single mothers on deployment,thank you very much.Secondly,9 times out of 10 women in the military are very much aware of what they can get away with,whether it be shirking their duties by getting others to do it for them,using their gender for higher rank,or getting pregnant so they won’t have to deploy.Again,this is not all women in the military but it is quite a few.

luke on April 8, 2011 at 11:10 am

If you plan on joining the military there is no reason becoming a mother should be on your list of things to do. I am disgusted with the way things works. When will things change. The branch you join should be your baby and your first priority.

meghan on April 28, 2011 at 5:39 am

It’s time for a single mother in the military to shine a little light on this situation. I am not just a Solider, but an Officer in the United States Military. I came in enlisted and I am a single mother. I do a damn good job. I take care of my child and my Soldiers. Prior to joining I worked a full time job, took care of my child, and graduated from a four year university in three years.
I find it funny that 99% of you leaving comments are probably not in the military.
This life style is all about management I have served my country with my head held high, and watch my daughter as she tells me “I want to be just like mommy.” Please tell me what gives any of you the right to judge a single mother when she is not only putting her life on the line for her child but for you as well? None.
Now on the contrary, not every single mother can join the military and lead a successful career. There are single mothers out there that make mothers like me look bad. But keep in mind there are male Soldiers out there that make other male Soldier look bad as well.
So please before you knock on someone else door, sweep around your own front porch first.

2LT in the US Army on May 12, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Ma’am, I was quick in my response to this trash and of course did not mean to group you with the rest of the people who commented. Thank you for your service and thank you for giving troops like me (and our male counterparts) a strong female to look up to.

    ABE3 Julien USN

    Theresa Julien on May 28, 2011 at 9:08 pm

All of you are ignorant and have no room to speak on anything in this “article”. I am a single mother in the military, in a fully deployable status in a very demanding rate. I do my job and I take wonderful care of my child. Children are blessings and so is being and American. I will continue to stand up beside my brothers and sisters in uniforn and protect your right to bash us. You’re all welcome by the way.

Theresa Julien on May 28, 2011 at 9:05 pm

I am a mother and a wife. My husband has served for 8 years and plans on going all the way, he tries to encourage me to join ALL the time. I won’t simply because even as a military brat, and spouse, I HATE THE MILITARY and what it takes from family’s… yes they are giving us freedom, and freedom has a price, but missing you father and mother all the time, worrying if they are dead or alive, birthdays alone… was very hard and hurts children emotionally even as they grow into adults. WITH THAT being said, I still think that banning single Moms is the dumbest fucking idea I’ve heard aside from banning gays… the military will except dead beat fathers and idiots from off the road, I have met some DUMB fucking plp in the military and yet they are aloud to use guns, and fly planes… But a Mother trying to take care of her child and herself by joining the military yes for the PAY, and maybe some sense of pride for her country, shouldn’t be any different than some idiot who can’t figure out what to do with there life so they join.

Samantha Ann on May 31, 2011 at 7:29 pm

I am a single military mother. People who say that single parents, or single mothers for that matter shouldn’t serve in the military then here is a thought for you. I found out i was pregnant after being in the military for three months. I continued to train for my rate while pregnant and finished training after i came back from maternity leave. I serve your country while raising my daughter. never once have i complained about standing duty, or having to spend, on average about $400 extra per month for extra care for my daughter while i stand duty to protect your country and remain getting criticized by people like yourself. You are not in the military, you are not serving your country, nor have you ever been in any of our single parent situations, so what right do you have to say who should or should not serve your country while you sit on your probably fat, lazy ass criticizing those who actually are able to WILLINGLY juggle military life, parenthood, and criticisms from unappreciative American citizens. Single mothers are the ones you are bashing, so here’s another thought. I work just as hard if not harder than any male in the military. I work just as long and then when i get home i do not get a break. i go from military woman to full time mother right after. so tell me, what responsibilities do you have when you wake in the morning? or is this it? you just like to criticize those who are serving your country so you can enjoy the freedom that you obviously take for granted. I love being in the military, serving my country, and i love my daughter very much and wouldn’t change anything about my life for the world. think before you speak, you have no idea who you are criticizing.

Rose on June 7, 2011 at 6:08 pm

You ppl make me sick! I am a very proud single mom who is condsidering joining the military and though it will suck to be deployed I WANT to be. I want to take a stand for my country does that mean I love my son any less? Heck no! My son is my world I;m not joining for free child care or whatever bs I saw wrote on here. I’m joining to protect my country better my and my sons life and to make a diiference. Maybe instead of draging down single moms you should be applauding them please walk in my shoes forr a day!!! Idoits!

Britt on June 24, 2011 at 9:24 pm

im sorry but what she said was bull shit. you cant put every female in the military in that category. i am a single parent and i have deployed and i take very good care of my child. and when i go overseas he is well taken care of. and im not a damn cook either. im an EOD tech and worked damn hard to be here. i can pt with the best of them and hold my own. not all women in the army have to be cooks or have desk jobs. some of us are willing and able to do more! yes there are some people( male and female) that shit bag it and shoulnt be able to wear a uniform, and its not just single mothers. so unless you have served and know how it is then i suggest you shut your mouth.

EOD.mom on June 25, 2011 at 11:32 am

I find the attitude from civilians towards military mothers disgusting. As a divorced mother of two on active duty, WITH a RESPONSIBLE FAMILY CARE PLAN that is REQUIRED by the military, my children are successful, well-adjusted, and excellent students. They are proud of the work I do and love my fellow sailors and their families. My career in the US Navy has brought diversity, education, excellent opportunity and pride to my children. And yes, I entered already divorced (OH MY!)

Perhaps, Ms. Schlussel, you have forgetten the great history of our nation, and how your freedoms and rights are granted to you in the first place. So I propose this: The next time you decide to exercise your right to “Free Speech”, which seems to include bashing the service women that provide you with protection and the preservation of your consititutional rights, thank the military women that make up for almost 20% of your nation’s military, many of which are RESPONSIBLE, EDUCATED and FAITH-BASED single mothers. Next time you get into your luxury car, drive to the store (and not a bread line), thank those women in the military. When your stay-at-home welfare/medicaid/unemployment-receiving girlfriend and her eight kids accompany you to Disney on Government Cheese moneys, and then you go to their Section 8 Home in a nice gated community for a BBQ, thank those of us in the military that are able-bodied and refuse to suck our government dry of funds when we can in turn offer a service and commodity instead, and actually justify our paychecks.

And then, most of all, please feel free to NOT enlist. We do NOT need more idiots like you in the service. Really.

USN Forever on July 2, 2011 at 10:54 am

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