May 10, 2007, - 5:11 am

She’s BAAACK: Hanoi Jane Brings You the Feel-Good Child Molestation, Seduce-a-Mormon-Missionary Movie of the Year

By Debbie Schlussel
Committing treason against American soldiers at war and dying in Vietnam is difficult to top.
And since Jane Fonda can’t top that act, she’ll settle for second acts that are close enough.
Hanoi Jane can’t go to Iraq and hang with insurgents, pointing their cannons in the direction of U.S. troops. These days, their “cannons” and tanks are car bombs and IEDs, and they’d quickly strap her to those. And she can’t announce over an Al-Qaeda loud speaker to U.S. troops that they’re wrong and should give up. The Qaeda guys simply don’t have the same respect for Fonda that her buddies in the Vietcong did. They’d rape, torture, behead, and burn her to a crisp before she had the chance to say As-Salaam Aleikum.

hanoijane.jpggeorgiarulemovieposter.jpg

So she’s settled for second best. Instead of betraying America’s troops, Hanoi Jane is out to betray America’s girls and America’s moms . . . and poke fun at America’s Mormons, while she’s at it. Even worse, she’s joking about child molestation and incest victims . . . On Mother’s Day Weekend!
This weekend, the former Mrs. Roger Vadim/Tom Hayden/Ted Turner, is out to ruin your Mother’s Day Weekend and that of millions of American moms and grandmoms nationwide with the release of her new movie, “Georgia Rule.”
Billed and promoted as a feel-good movie about three generations of women–a grandmother (Fonda), mother (Desperate Housewives’ Felicity Huffman), and granddaughter (Lindsay Lohan), the trailers for this film are Exhibit A in false advertising.
Here’s what the movie is really about:
A slutty, incorrigible 17-year-old rebel, Rachel (Lohan), is sent by her mother (Huffman) to spend the summer with her grandmother (Fonda) in the fictional small town of Hull, Idaho. Ostensibly, Grandma Georgia and her “Georgia Rules” are the epitome of strict disciplinarian stuff. But not really. Lohan tries to seduce, sleep with, and corrupt the entire town (and comes close enough), without a single ounce of any real discipline–or even slight disapproval–from Grandma Georgia a/k/a Hanoi Jane.
But Lohan has an “excuse” for her despicable behavior. We learn that this lying, conniving hussy was molested by her stepfather, who slept with her from age 12-14. That makes it okay that she performs a “Clinton White House internship” on a Mormon virgin engaged to be married and about to leave on a two-year Mormon mission, and she breaks up his engagement.
And beside that, the other girls and women in town are unsophisticated hicks, with bad clothes who look like they came out of the 1950s. Therefore, we must make fun of them and seduce their equally naive men. Once again, small town America is portrayed as backwards and out-of-touch to the twisted Hollywood mansion dwellers who produce this tripe.
Throughout the movie–a comedy with a little drama thrown in for a good measure of Lifetime Network movie of the week “charm”–the child molestation issue is poked at and made light of. Is she lying about it? Isn’t she lying about it? We see Lohan talk about how she felt loved when her child molester step-father held her after sex . . . at age 12. Then, we see her use this fact to try to extort a Ferrari and $10 million from him.
Oh, and I almost forgot the best part. In one scene, Lohan wrestles to the ground a boy who is mowing her grandmother’s lawn. The boy is about 11 or 12, and we hear Lohan scream as she straddles his lap, “Oh my G-d, he’s hard.” This movie is beyond disgusting.
Unfortunately, though this movie is rated “R,” Lohan is adored it-girl of many underage teen and tween girls. The filmmakers know this and that’s partly why they cast her. Lohan’s presence makes it a sure bet that kids will sneak in to see “Georgia Rule,” or get their parents to take them. Parents, I’m quite sure taking your daughters to this silver-screen does qualify as child abuse. Good-bye, “Disney’s Parent Trap” twin daughters (Lohan’s first big role); hello, Celebrated Silver Screen Slut.
Don’t rely on the “entertainment media” to give you the scoop. Last night, “Entertainment Tonight” featured Lohan’s attractive but unethical stagemom, Dina Lohan, interviewing her daughter at the movie’s New York premiere. Again, you’d think the movie was all about Mother’s Day sweetness and light, based on the segment.
When Lohan was filming this, she was an alcoholic (and still is) who failed to show up on time for filming. James G. Robinson, CEO of studio Morgan Creek Productions, sent Lohan a much publicized letter, criticizing Lohan for “discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional” conduct, claiming her behavior was that of a “spoiled child” which “has endangered the quality of this picture.” Actually, what is truly “irresponsible” and “endanger[ing] the quality” of America, is making this kind of trash and bringing it to the big screen, Mr. Robinson.
Jane Fonda wrote that she was forced into bizarre threesomes and other weird sexual acts with first husband Roger Vadim. It wasn’t enough to tell the world about it in her 2005 book. Now, unfortunately, she feels the need to project her weird former sex life on America for Mother’s Day. That, or she is really desperate for work in Hollywood.
Men: Avoid this horrid-beyond-belief chick flick like the plague. Women: Is this really what you’d want to spend two hours of your Mother’s Day Weekend seeing? Personally, I found it painful to watch. And if I didn’t have to review it, I’d have walked out . . . so very many times.
“Georgia Rule” deserves a rating of “EG” for Extreme Garbage. Debbie Rule: Don’t forget to take out the trash before Mother’s Day.

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14 Responses

debbie since when are you big into chic flic. stay with spiderman review. this fonda movie will bomb like the movie she play the mental mother in law to jennifer lopez and yes i forgot the name like i will forget the name of this movie in 15 minutes
I HATE CHICK FLICKS, THIS ONE DOUBLY–NO, QUINTUPLY–SO. “MONSTER IN-LAW” IS WHAT YOU’RE THINKING OF.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

PNAMARBLE on May 10, 2007 at 5:30 am

u once mentioned in ur blog that Obama has muslim background.so chances are rare that he could be the president in 2008. i also noticed in one of ur entries that both Obama and hilary established their myspace website. the simple fact is Obama seems to be more popular than hilary. Obama is much likely to be ur next president,don’t u think so?
btw: i am from China and one of ur faithful readers.

scottie on May 10, 2007 at 7:07 am

womyn really hate women dont they?
the war within womendom between the marxists and the functionalists is pretty fierce.
what better weapon to use against an honorable mom than turning her daughter into a prostitute.
you can even go to hollywood and get help doing it with their army of “designers” and “producers”.
Fonda says she lost her virginity to one of Dad’s buddies in Italy. I think she lost her mind after all of that and never really recovered. Instead of keeping the ball rolling and being cool like her dad, seh bought into the narcissism of the 60′s that didnt really turn out and its just going to be her hacking away at her ghosts til she dries up.
I sat on the stage at Hill Auditorium when I was a kid and listened to Fonda and Hayden while my mom got her Masters.
dipsh-t richkids.

playertwo on May 10, 2007 at 9:00 am

if it’s any consolation, industry-bible Variety also gave the movie a pretty bad review
http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117933575.html?categoryid=31&cs=1

Red Ryder on May 10, 2007 at 9:18 am

Seeing those sheepish grins on the VC and Hanoi Jane in the B&W travel log photo I have to wonder if she may have engaged in a wee bit of foreign deplomacy with member(s) of her host country’s representatives. Or is she the type that doesn’t kiss and tell?

Esbiem on May 10, 2007 at 9:32 am

Damn, I’d forgotten that B&W photo. I won’t give that traiterous scumbag the attention. Her movies stink anyway.

FreeAmerican on May 10, 2007 at 10:03 am

How many bash Mormon movies do you think we are going to have before the Republican Primary?

MadMom on May 10, 2007 at 10:10 am

“Lohan tries to seduce, sleep with, and corrupt the entire town (and comes close enough), without a single ounce of any real discipline–or even slight disapproval–from Grandma Georgia a/k/a Hanoi Jane.”
Is this a documentary?
What is wrong with this country that is riveted to trash like Lohan, Spears, etc.?

Jeff_W on May 10, 2007 at 11:20 am

Jeff_W:
Good question. Here’s my take:
Better to look at the taste makers than necessarily “the country.”
Sad to say, many–if not most–in the entertainment biz really are immoral scum. And, even if this does not reflect the actual mood of the country, if those people are in control of much of the media, big numbers are not required.
The problem, though, is this–
The media can and does persuade the faint-hearted, and even if a silent majority does exist, their influence may be quite small.
The good news is that things seem to be changing–
1. NBA and NFL getting more serious about moral turpitude with their players.
2. Lefty/secularist/apologist newspapers dying on the vine.
3. Lohan/Spears/Hilton, etc being viewed as clowns rather than legitimate celebs
Bottom line: While things are not great, they are nowhere near as bad as you might think.

Red Ryder on May 10, 2007 at 11:49 am

A little off topic…
Could someone translate “As-Salaam Aleikum” please?
Thanks.
IT MEANS “PEACE BE UNTO YOU” IN ARABIC. IT’S A GREETING GENERALLY USED IN ISLAM (BUT NOT BY CHRISTIAN ARABS). IT IS A DIRECT RIP-OFF OF THE HEBREW/JEWISH GREETING “SHALOM ALEICHEM” (WHICH ALSO MEANS “PEACE BE UNTO YOU”).
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

cirrus1701 on May 10, 2007 at 11:51 am

Red Ryder, I agree with you. I think that many in society are weak minded and are “open” to being told what they like and what they want. Those doing the “telling” are the Hollywood degenerates. It is really quite disgusting. If there were nothing on TV except high quality educational programs, the masses would STILL watch TV and they would be a lot smarter. Given that children are plopped in front of the TV at an early age, think what a positive influence the television and film industry could have on our youth, if they wanted to have a positive influence.
As for Hanoi Jane, did you ever see a fuglier commie? Lousy actress too.

AmericanJewess on May 10, 2007 at 1:44 pm

>> IT IS A DIRECT RIP-OFF OF THE HEBREW/JEWISH GREETING “SHALOM ALEICHEM”
Actually, everything about them is a rip-off! Right from the Hebrew language to Jewish customs, its simply plagiarized. Plus the other things they ripped off from other cultures, particularly from the ancient Indians.
And then, they have the nerve to pass off these as a part of their “glorious islamic history” during their hypocritical annual conventions (for example ADC)!!

anonymous twit on May 10, 2007 at 2:32 pm

“The Qaeda guys simply don’t have the same respect for Fonda that her buddies in the Vietcong did. They’d rape, torture, behead, and burn her to a crisp before she had the chance to say As-Salaam Aleikum.”
It would be wrong to encourage her to put her body where her heart is, wouldn’t it? *mock sigh*

radishthegreat on May 10, 2007 at 5:52 pm

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