June 11, 2007, - 9:53 am

Take That, Food Police!

By Debbie Schlussel
I’ve always believed that if you are overweight, it’s your own fault (unless you are in a wheelchair–then you have an excuse). If you’re too lazy to control what goes in your mouth and refuse to work it off, then you deserve the outward results. Sorry, that “gland” excuse doesn’t cut it. Why don’t they have those glands in China and Japan (except Sumo wrestlers)? Yet, I’ve seen plenty of fat people of those ethnicities here in America, once they get acculturated and start emulating other Americans who eat non-stop at McDonald’s.
That said, I believe in personal food responsibility. I detest the Morgan Spurlocks of the world and the other food police (that means you, Bill Clinton), who’ve pressured fast food joints to get rid of supersized meals and items and schools to get rid of soda and candy machines. So, I applaud Denny’s for giving those food police a middle-finger salute with its latest offerings: two new “late night” megaburgers (sold only from 10:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m., daily):

dennysburgers.jpg

Denny’s New Calorie-Busting SlamBurger and Full House Burger

The SlamBurger comes topped with cheesy hash brown casserole, a cooked-to-order egg and cheese sauce. The Full House Burger is covered with nacho meat, cheddar cheese, onions, cheese sauce, onion rings, mustard and ketchup.
And both have fries on the side.
The $5.99 SlamBurger weighs in at 1,080 calories. The $6.99 Full House tips the scales at 1,250 calories.

Don’t get me wrong. I would never eat these. First, they’re not kosher. And second, they sound disgusting. But I celebrate freedom. And freedom includes the choice to eat what you want and the choice of fast food purveyors to offer it.
I find it hilarious that extreme liberals like Morgan Spurlock and other food PC police–who are the first to yell and scream about a “woman’s right to do what she wants with her own body” when it comes to abortion–are the first to tell us (and fast food joints) what to do with our bodies and to try to regulate the offerings, when it comes to food.

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7 Responses

You are not correct in your assessment of why some people are fat. True, many of them are just overeaters and it is their own fault. But, for instance, in my case, the gland in question is the thyroid gland. Slow (hypoactive) thyroid is one of the most common problems in the U.S. The treatment is easy (synthroid) but: weight gain typically occurs with the onset of hypothyroidism. For me, when I got this, I gained 20 lbs on the same diet. I was extremely distraut over this. When the doctor confirmed that it was due to my thyroid I was relieved because I assumed the weight would disappear with the treatment. Not so. For reasons not understood, while weight gain comes with hypothyroidism, weight loss does not occur when it is treated. Maybe the treatment misses something, who knows.
For me, this has been very distressing. Before the thyroid problem I had a pretty good bod, but now I eat like a tiny bird (no breakfast; lunch is one of those 1/2 pints of cottage cheese), work out 6 days a week and only on this regimen (which I am on) does the weight VERY SLOWLY come off. I’m not blaming anyone of course. This is just the way it is and in the scheme of things I’m lucky just to have this minor problem; and of course, many fat people are just lazy pigs. I’ve watched obese people shovel food down their mouths and I have no sympathy for them (nor am I asking any for me, either).

Seymour Paine on June 11, 2007 at 10:31 am

I like mine topped with Pizza Hut and KFC! I’m so glad when companies don’t just roll over when the kooks start to whine. I thought the Hardee’s Ultimate Thick Burger was the best since…sliced bread! Keep shoving it in the nannies’ faces.

Dogma on June 11, 2007 at 11:06 am

Is the U.S. fat because she is handicapped, or handicapped because she is fat?
If the “left” is so “liberal,” why do they want us to conserve so much? (Nanny State)
Levothyroxine and Insulin sales will continue to skyrocket because of the absence of moderation in the modern lifestyle, and the laissez faire mindset. Cure: Work HARD, play HARD.

Nuggler on June 11, 2007 at 11:42 am

“Don’t get me wrong. I would never eat these. First, they’re not kosher. And second, they sound disgusting. But I celebrate freedom.”
Debbie–UGH–Would you celebrate eating garbage…it’s a freedom too, right? I order mine w/o the cheese and other sewage. The burger is plenty fat/full of calories enough. No doubt, the folks who will eat this burger are the same ones we know who are already obese anyway (yeah–there are some students who can pound this crap down and get away with it but not that is not normal). Legal–yeah so is eating garbage–yuck.
I do agree with you Debbie–folks shouldn’t use their genetics as their excuse for obesity–yes it is very hard for some folks–but–that’s the way it goes.

BB on June 11, 2007 at 1:24 pm

It’s real simple: Take care of your body. If you don’t wanna get fat yet do nothing about it….don’t eat this stuff. Me, I’ll eat it and take care of my body. I’m not obese.

Squirrel3D on June 11, 2007 at 2:40 pm

Couldn’t agree more,if people want to eat slop it’s their right.Check out this horror meal!
http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/
Hungry man breakfast…shiver….

Chiefscotty24 on June 12, 2007 at 10:55 am

The Full house burger was the best burger i’ve ever had in my life…. and on a side note people are only fat cuz they’re too lazy to actually exercise after they eat. What they eat is only half the problem… you still need to exercise and i do it…its tough but worth being able to eat what i want and stay thin.

kenteye on September 25, 2012 at 9:05 pm

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