December 21, 2009, - 5:47 pm

Would You Get Away with the “Cocaine Kiss Alibi”?

By Debbie Schlussel

Pro athletes always whine that they’re treated unfairly.  But they are well compensated for the microscope on their lives.  And some of the things pro athletes get away with are just absurd.

If you tested positive for drugs, do you think you could get away with the cocaine kiss alibi?  French tennis pro, Richard Gasquet, who tested positive for coke, did.

richardgasquetkisscocaineandkiss

French tennis player Richard Gasquet was cleared of any wrongdoing Thursday when the Court of Arbitration for Sport accepted his claim that he tested positive for cocaine by kissing a woman in a nightclub.

The CAS dismissed appeals by the World Anti-Doping Agency and International Tennis Federation, which wanted Gasquet banned for up to two years.

“I’m absolutely relieved. This is the end of a crazy story,” Gasquet said. “I’m happy to be 100% cleared.”

The court in Lausanne, Switzerland, accepted Gasquet’s claim that he inadvertently consumed cocaine by kissing the woman in a Miami club hours after withdrawing injured from a tournament in March.

“It was impossible for the player, even when exercising the utmost caution, to know that in kissing a woman who he had met in a totally unsuspicious environment, he could be contaminated with cocaine,” the court said in a statement.

A CAS panel of three lawyers said the quantity of the drug in Gasquet’s urine test was “minute” and the 23-year-old Frenchman was “clearly not a regular cocaine user.”

“The possibility of contamination became the most plausible explanation,” CAS said.

What–they’ve never heard of recreational users of coke? What planet do they live on?

So, they let this tennis player, who probably did coke once or twice before the test, get away with this ridiculous cocaine kiss alibi.

Yup, the O.J. Simpson murder trial jury continues to find work.

Folks, don’t try this excuse if you test positive for drugs at work. Here’s a tip: it won’t work. And, unlike Richard Gasquet, you’ll be out of a job.

If I’m ever on trial for murder, remind me to make sure I’m “judged” by the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

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7 Responses

Yep. Cause the boss will know if you’re really taking drugs. And if some has coke on their lips: here’s a hint: they ARE using. Period.

So much common sense in European sports judging circles.

NormanF on December 21, 2009 at 6:36 pm

I smell a bribe.

I_AM_ME on December 21, 2009 at 7:25 pm

LOL. I’m an avid tennis fan, but don’t buy this. Hingis wishes she thought of it. Shame. Hate to see tennis sullied.

Skunky on December 21, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Tennis is a professional sport, it is sullied by nature. The court ruled as it did because it does not wish to ban entertainer/athletes for using drugs that concievably did not enhance playing ability. The rules against drug use are simply there as a sop to the veiwing/buying public. PR usage only. The athletes, organizations and their sponsors could care less about recreational drug use. It is seen as normal in way to many social situations.

Matt on December 22, 2009 at 10:48 am

I was going to make fun of the usual “enlightened” view of European officiating but unfortunately we are no better. Especailly when it comes to the NFL. Table tennis anyone?

Mr. M on December 23, 2009 at 1:13 am

Hey, they bought Agassi’s excuse too. MENSA they are not.

FeFe on December 25, 2009 at 2:28 am

By the way folks, you cannot get a positive result on a Marijuana test by being in a room with Pot smokers. Screw that excuse.

Occam's Tool on July 19, 2011 at 7:00 pm

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