June 15, 2007, - 3:09 pm

Weekend Box Office: Just OK “Fantastic 4″ Sequel Disses Torture of Islamic Terrorists

By Debbie Schlussel
This weekend’s big box office release, “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer,” the sequel to 2005’s “Fantastic Four,” is much better than the first installment. But, then, that’s not saying much, since the first one was so lackluster and silly.
Here’s the scoop: The earth’s energy and power is being sucked out of it by a cloud/planet (“Galactus” in the F4 comic books). The earth will cease to exist, unless it is saved, which–of course!–happens, courtesy of the “Fantastic Four.” Sort of. Actually, in this one, the villain–the “Silver Surfer”–saves the day. He is sent here to do the cloud/planet’s bidding.

fantasticfour2.jpg

What I did NOT like about this movie was the VERY CLEAR statement against our military, Guantanamo, and torture of terrorists. In one scene, we see the Fantastic Four being held prisoner by the U.S. military, in a jail-like facility like Gitmo. The U.S. General who heads the place wants to torture the villainous “Silver Surfer” to get the truth out of him about the plot against the Earth. Jessica Alba a/k/a “Susan Storm” a/k/a “The Invisible Woman” yells and screams against the torture of the innocent alien terrorist being. She sneaks into his chamber and is nice to him. Because of that, he is nice back, shares the plot, and eventually helps save the day–by betraying his evil alien planet master.
Like that ever would happen. Yeah–We play nice-nice to Islamic terrorists, and then they spill everything AND turn against Bin Laden and Islam AND save us from Al-Qaeda. Uh, sadly, NO. Only in some liberal’s dreams. Back to reality.
Ironically, this is the same beautiful and beautifully-stupid Jessica Alba who–in summer 2005, when the first “F4″ debuted–was wailing against the War in Iraq in press interviews, because her uncle joined the U.S. military for a free trip to Italy. She was upset that, instead of a vacation in Italy, he was sent to Iraq.
Hey, Jessica, shut up and act. And get rid of the “Gitmo/U.S. torture of terrorists” political scene and statements from your superhero movie, while you’re at it.
I did like the Silver Surfer character, though. The movie was okay. But definitely not “Fantastic.”
(Although there are a few minor sex jokes/references, you can take your kids to see it. They won’t get the references.)

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15 Responses

For something that’s being billed as a ‘family film,’ I seriously doubt they would want to include a torture sequence. I think you would admit (considering your past reviews rightfully decrying excessive violence in Hollywood) that family films are in short supply these days. So why would you want to sacrifice one more for the sake of topical realism? And considering your description of the movie’s plotline, I don’t think realism is what the filmmakers had in mind.
CLEARLY, YOU DON’T GET MY POINT. THEY DON’T NEED TO INVOLVE TORTURE OF ALIENS IN THE FILM. BUT THEY CHOOSE TOO, WITH HER WAILING AGAINST IT AND THEN SUCCEEDING IN TURNING THE ALIEN HER WAY, SINCE SHE STOPS THE TORTURE. WHY INCLUDE THE SCENE AT ALL? THIS WAS NOT IN THE F4 COMIC BOOKS, TO MY KNOWLEDGE. IT’S CLEARLY A STATEMENT ABOUT OUR WAR ON TERROR, AND THE WHOLE SCENE HAS NO PLACE IN THE MOVIE.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

AlternativeThought on June 15, 2007 at 3:39 pm

Wait Debbie:
Jessica is beautiful so she must be smart!

Tamlin on June 15, 2007 at 4:07 pm

my tautology is because you are beautiful and smart, so must she be.

Tamlin on June 15, 2007 at 4:08 pm

Doesn’t it say somewhere in the Koran to be kind to the infidels who are kind to you? I remember something about the golden turban rule being in there. It was either that or kill the infidels…. I forgot which one.

cinerx on June 15, 2007 at 5:42 pm

Does the viewer get to see Galactus at all in the movie? Or do you just see a giant cloud? Seeing Galactus is only reason I’m considering watching the movie.
About the Silver Surfer getting tortured: The man sent an almost godly being to devour the planet. I can’t believe that protecting an alien from a galaxy far far away is more important than literally saving all life on earth. I think it would have made more sense if the military decided to experiment on him to build some kind of weapon to use against Galactus, while the Fantastic 4 tried to save him because they found something that could convince him to help them. But oh well…
NO, UNFORTUNATELY, JOSE, THEY DON’T SHOW GALACTUS AS BEING ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CLOUD (WITH ONE BLURRY SHOT OF THE SHADOW OF A FACE). THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IN THE COMIC BOOK WHERE THEY SHOW THE HORNS THAT ARE SAID TO BE SPORTED BY GALACTUS, ETC. A BIG ERROR IN MY VIEW.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Jose on June 15, 2007 at 10:25 pm

My favorite part of the Fantastic 4 comic was when Jigglypuff made a guest appearance and sang Dr. Doom to sleep. Then he drew a mustache on him with a Sharpie while Submariner and Shuma-Gorath tied him up. They should have included the cameo appearance in the movie.

LibertarianBulbasaur on June 15, 2007 at 11:47 pm

All this talk of the War on Terror and its resulting consternation has got me thinking: If you folks would like to read something that advances a totally unique premise regarding how we can REALLY hit the terrorists hard, you need to order a copy of my counter-terrorism Novel;
In The Death of Night. It’s about a retired CIA Case Officer who manipulates the Russian Mafia into using its ex-Stasi, ex-Spetsnaz, GRU, KGB Hitmen to viciously kill terrorists inside Houston. One ex-Cop I know swore that this book could be used as a training manual on how to kill terrorists. You can find it on amazon.com. As for the new Fantastic Four movie, well, I won’t be going to see it anytime soon.

LCPL on June 15, 2007 at 11:49 pm

OT
From a talk by Master Chertoff (circa 150 years ago)
He says that unless there is legal slavery and continuing importation of slaves, U.S. farmers might have to curtail operations or move offshore because of labor shortages.
“I don’t believe Americans in large numbers are going to go pick cotton,” Master Chertoff says.
“What you will see is a major shift of our businesses, certainly the agriculture plantation business, out of the country, and that that is going to be a very, very bad thing,” he says.
Master Chertoff also faulted Abraham Lincoln for his opposition to continuing slavery.
“We are fighting a very heavy headwind,” he says, pointing to abolitionists as a major culprit.

feralcat9 on June 16, 2007 at 3:15 pm

*reads the review*
Damn Debbie…you really know how to discourage a guy from seeing a superhero flick.
Nice Pokemon reference BTW.

Squirrel3D on June 16, 2007 at 5:28 pm

Debbie, you were dead on about the Jolie/Pitt/Winterbottom anti-semitic Islamofascist love fest. LGF has a story about how CAIR is sponsoring a screening of “Mighty Heart” along with a “Christian” group that is actually a 9/11 truther organization. This screening, with Jew hatefest panel discussion to follow, is actually taking place on the Paramount Lot! I’m not going to see anymore Paramount movies any more, period.
If Marianne Pearl and Daniel Pearl’s father weren’t such deluded Islamist-loving lefty’s, the victim would actually be able to RIP.
The “Rabbi” on the panel, Haim Beliak, is apparently one of those nut jobs who think that evangelical Christians are the enemy, which is a common theme on the far-left. I could find no reference on his organization’s web site to anything about Islamism or Muslims. Makes me sick to think that I have to share a religion with delusional idiots like that.

sonomaca on June 16, 2007 at 6:47 pm

But wait, there’s more. Amnesty International and Doctors Without Borders sponsored the NYC premiere of “Mighty Heart.” Funny, since the Hamas slaughter, and I mean against the wall execution-style slaughter, of their political opponents in Gaza, we have heard not a word from Amnesty International.
Imagine if Israel were lining up Palestinian fighters (and maybe family members, we don’t know yet) and killing them execution-style what Amnesty International would be saying now. The silence is deafening.

sonomaca on June 16, 2007 at 11:42 pm

“Nice Pokemon reference BTW.”
Here’s a Pokemon joke for you all:
How are Islamic terrorists like Pokemon?
Gotta catch ‘em all!

LibertarianBulbasaur on June 17, 2007 at 2:38 am

IIRC, the silver surfer had a change of conscience in the comic, and not tortured by our government.

CaptShady on June 17, 2007 at 2:57 am

feralcat9, June 16, 3.15 “OT, blah, Master Chertoff, blah, blah, blah”. Fast forward to today, me, ‘if I’d have known we were going to have all these problems, I’d have picked my own dam cotton”.

John Cunningham on June 17, 2007 at 3:36 am

Gee, I guess we can never have another movie that doesn’t try to brainwash us. When they make MRI’s portable, they’ll start reading our minds and make sure we’re thinking properly.

steve ventry on June 17, 2007 at 6:38 pm

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