June 15, 2007, - 3:09 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
This weekend’s big box office release, “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer,” the sequel to 2005′s “Fantastic Four,” is much better than the first installment. But, then, that’s not saying much, since the first one was so lackluster and silly.
Here’s the scoop: The earth’s energy and power is being sucked out of it by a cloud/planet (“Galactus” in the F4 comic books). The earth will cease to exist, unless it is saved, which–of course!–happens, courtesy of the “Fantastic Four.” Sort of. Actually, in this one, the villain–the “Silver Surfer”–saves the day. He is sent here to do the cloud/planet’s bidding.
What I did NOT like about this movie was the VERY CLEAR statement against our military, Guantanamo, and torture of terrorists. In one scene, we see the Fantastic Four being held prisoner by the U.S. military, in a jail-like facility like Gitmo. The U.S. General who heads the place wants to torture the villainous “Silver Surfer” to get the truth out of him about the plot against the Earth. Jessica Alba a/k/a “Susan Storm” a/k/a “The Invisible Woman” yells and screams against the torture of the innocent alien terrorist being. She sneaks into his chamber and is nice to him. Because of that, he is nice back, shares the plot, and eventually helps save the day–by betraying his evil alien planet master.
Like that ever would happen. Yeah–We play nice-nice to Islamic terrorists, and then they spill everything AND turn against Bin Laden and Islam AND save us from Al-Qaeda. Uh, sadly, NO. Only in some liberal’s dreams. Back to reality.
Ironically, this is the same beautiful and beautifully-stupid Jessica Alba who–in summer 2005, when the first “F4″ debuted–was wailing against the War in Iraq in press interviews, because her uncle joined the U.S. military for a free trip to Italy. She was upset that, instead of a vacation in Italy, he was sent to Iraq.
Hey, Jessica, shut up and act. And get rid of the “Gitmo/U.S. torture of terrorists” political scene and statements from your superhero movie, while you’re at it.
I did like the Silver Surfer character, though. The movie was okay. But definitely not “Fantastic.”
(Although there are a few minor sex jokes/references, you can take your kids to see it. They won’t get the references.)
Tags: al-Qaeda, bin Laden, Debbie Schlussel, energy, Fantastic 4, Fantastic Four, General, innocent alien terrorist, Iraq, Italy, Jessica, Jessica Alba, Silver Surfer, U.S. military, United States