July 13, 2007, - 7:10 pm

Scorpions: Meet the Newest Jewelry Store Security Guards

By Debbie Schlussel
Jewelry stores–ripe targets for thieves–often have to hire security guards to thwart robberies.
But not Scott Ward. The owner of South Lyon Watch & Jewelry in the Detroit suburb of South Lyon has much smaller, less expensive, and more effective guards to protect his jewels–scorpions. About 12 of them crawl around the jewelry under the glass display cases.
Ward calls his establishment, “The world’s most dangerous jeweler,” and his store motto is, “Stay alert, stay alive.” Says one customer:

scorpionjewelry.jpg

Scorpions Guard Jewelry at Michigan Store

The scorpions make you feel kind of creepy. But I think it’s a good idea. I don’t think he will have any theft problems. No one is going to want to stick their hand in there.

Kudos for this innovative thinking that doesn’t necessarily involve high-tech expense and know-how. But if a robber ever does get stung, just wait for the lawsuits to pour in.
I’m waiting for PETA to start the scorpion jewelry security union and demand collective bargaining.

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4 Responses

debbie you can do this to keep those arab thugs away from you home and you can send them in the mail to the people who sent you threats and other offensive material to your mailing address

PNAMARBLE on July 13, 2007 at 7:22 pm

Now that that article’s been published, the guy’s probably going to get robbed within a month. I bet it’s a lot easier to put on a couple layers of thick gloves than it is to deal with human security staff.

LibertarianBulbasaur on July 14, 2007 at 12:30 am

Novel idea.
I’d go into the store just to watch the scorpions.
They can be as fast as roaches. However, their sting isn’t lethal except if you’re allergic to the venom. All the robber has to do is don some gloves just before trashing the case – or, wait for winter, when he’ll look less conspicuous wearing gloves.

Thee_Bruno on July 14, 2007 at 8:40 am

Those things multiply – and leave husks of eggs all over. That’s disgusting!
Also, when any escape the jewelry case, the store is going to have a plague of them. All they need is for an employee to be stung or a customer, to have them be sued, sued, SUED!
How about a scorpion or two, in the dressing room? In your clothes that you try on? How about taking them home in the clothes you buy?
Someone said they are not deadly? Not only are they deadly – esp. to infants – but when you are stung, you hand and arm becomes black (!) until the sting subsides.
Have a good time playing with scorpions you crazy gringos!

allat on July 16, 2007 at 2:36 pm

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