August 27, 2007, - 8:59 am

Nasty Rumor: Michael “Chiquita Terrorists” Chertoff to Replace Resigned Gonzales as AG

By Debbie Schlussel
Over the weekend, a number of readers sent me posts from lots of blogs and this U.S. News & World Report claim that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales would resign and that Michael “Serpenthead” Chertoff would replace him. Well, the first part of the rumor came to pass almost immediately (I called for Gonzales to be fired a while ago), so will this?:

Maybe Trading Up Soon at Justice
The buzz among top Bushies is that beleaguered Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finally plans to depart and will be replaced by Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. Why Chertoff? Officials say he’s got fans on Capitol Hill, is untouched by the Justice prosecutor scandal, and has more experience than Gonzales did, having served as a federal judge and assistant attorney general.

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Bad To Worse: Him for Him?

I beg to differ. If the Bush Administration is smart (and I’ve never accused them of that), they would avoid nominating a man (Chertoff), who–now we all know–approved cash payments to a terrorist group because they were made by his cronies (and a former law partner) at Chiquita Banana. Chertoff knew Chiquita was paying off terrorists and let it continue for over a year, doing nothing about it and reporting it to no-one.
If the Democrats were truly the “loyal opposition”–and on the important issues, they’ve been, frankly, timid–the banana terrorist payments would have been a major issue and Chertoff would have been the one resigning, today. And on trial for obstruction of justice and public corruption charges over this (not to mention having his law license revoked).
So, who knows if they will have the guts to use it against him in any confirmation hearings. I doubt it. They may not be chicken-hawks. But they definitely are chickens.
One other thing: Notice the USN&WR headline calls Chertoff going to Justice, “trading up.” That should tell you something about how he’s run his agency . . . into Filene’s Bargain Basement.
Upside: If Chertoff goes to Justice, maybe he’ll take “The ICE Princess” with him. That would be a GREAT thing.
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Coming Soon to “Justice”?

(Julie Myers Diet Coke by David Lunde)

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11 Responses

Both a blessing and a curse to us at ICE-OI, for the following reasons (IMHO) …
Let’s assume Chertoff takes over as AG. First of all, yes, it clears up the top spot at DHS (Good riddance to Mr. Chertoff). However, the question is what QUALIFIED person would want the misery of running an agency that was a mistake from its inception? That leaves us with the THIRD Secretary of DHS since 2001 (Ridge, Chertoff and ???), which has led to a lack of leadership and vision at the TOP.
Then, there’s Ms. Myers. My understanding from HQ sources is that, if she departs (again, good riddance), John P. Clark will take over as Acting Ass’t Secretary, for probably the rest of what would have been Ms. Myers’ term; Clark is a wonderfully qualified L/E type to take the helm, but is NOT a political appointee – Again, it will probably will be very difficult to get a QUALIFIED person to take the spot PERMANENTLY.
In any event, both spots would be up for renomination after the 2008 elections. Therefore, we stand, by January 2009, to have perhaps the FOURTH DHS Secretary and the THIRD ICE Ass’t Secretary in as many years. Is it any wonder that morale at the agency SUCKS? Why would an agent want the job as an investigator if noone wants the job at the top?
Things that make you say hmmm …
NORMALLY, I AGREE WITH A LOT OF WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. BUT DEFINITELY NOT YOUR REMARKS ON JOHN CLARK. DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT BASICALLY EVERYTHING THAT’S HAPPENED TO ICE HAS BEEN ON CLARK’S WATCH, EITHER AS DIRECTOR OF THE OFFICE OF INVESTIGATIONS OR AS DEPUTY ASSISTANT SECRETARY (AND RUNNING THE SHOW FOR “THE ICE PRINCESS”)? TIME FOR MOST OF THE HEADS AT THE TOP TO ROLL. BUT, SADLY, THAT WON’T HAPPEN.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

4EVERCUSTOMS on August 27, 2007 at 10:12 am

This whole fiasco is a ruse. Alberto Gonzales could care less. And so does the President. This is just drama. As they try to seek the SPP North American Union under our noses. This Gonzales drama is to disttract us. Keep your eyes on Cheftoff. Gonzales could care less. Don’t see him? He so laid back. So disinterested. Who care if Gonzales quits?
Danny

dannygirl on August 27, 2007 at 12:10 pm

Being rid of Gonzales is definitely good news; it is too bad it took so long. He has caused much trouble, given much bad advice, and lowered the standards for this country severely; we are much better off without him.
The circus atmosphere that will surround confirmation hearings for any new nominee for AG will tend to take the national attention away from other much more important issues. As Danny has observed, this could be just a ruse to divert attention while the wily Bush administration tries to put the NAU or some other major trick past the American people. We the people need to keep focused on the big picture and Congress do what it does best; nitpick and grandstand. The Congress may be able to hold the post of AG vacant for the rest of the Bush term which might not be such a bad idea. Obstructionism is what they excel at.

Dr. D on August 27, 2007 at 2:14 pm

Too funny! From the frying pan into the fire!
Unbelievable. In Spanish, we call such a person as chertoff, “Serpientes!” This insult has been around for years, and fits the man to a t.
Just like rumsfeld’s face, the bone structure and skin color, looks like a skeleton.

allat on August 27, 2007 at 2:21 pm

it boggles the mind how you can draw the democrats in as the bad guys who are letting this all happen… any chance the right will ever take responsibility for it’s actions?

ibfamous on August 27, 2007 at 5:29 pm

Ms. Schlussel:
Do you really think John Clark is running the show? I respect your right to an opinion, and I haven’t agreed with all that he has done. However, the fact is, IMHO, that Clark has largely been rendered irrelevant in the whole scheme of ICE OI operations. In fact, I cannot remember the last time he has made any significant appearance regarding representing ICE OI – that all seems to be Marcy Forman and Ray Pharmer for OI, and Julie is always on TV at the big press conferences. Furthermore, it was bantered around HQ that Clark had become so marginalized, that he was going to take over investigations for the Department of Commerce, and get out of ICE entirely. I’d be interested in your response, and if your sources have told you something different. In any event, I’d rather have JPC, an 1811 certified law enforcement type as head of this agency right now than 99% of the garbage they could come up with.
CLARK’S ROLE MAY HAVE DIMINISHED IN LIGHT OF HIS PERSONAL PROBLEMS (FIGHTING ALLEGATIONS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND AN ALLEGED AFFAIR WITH A SUBORDINATE), THERE’S NO WAY HE WAS MARGINALIZED IN THE LEASE. E-MAILS OBTAINED BY AND REFERRED TO, LAST WEEK, IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES, SHOW THAT CLARK WAS STILL DEEPLY INVOLVED IN ICE OPERATIONAL MATTERS. THE FACT THAT YOU MAY HAVE SEEN/HEARD MORE OF PEPPERMINT PATTY (MARCY FORMAN-FRIEDMAN) AND THIS RAY PERSON IS MORE OF A FACTOR THAT YOU AND THEY ARE APPARENTLY IN THE OFFICE OF INVESTIGATIONS, AND THEY ADDRESS OI-ONLY ISSUES, NOT THE BROADER ICE ISSUES IN WHICH CLARK WAS INVOLVED. CLARK STAYS IN DC TO “RUN” THINGS (INTO THE GROUND, AS SHE DOES) WHENEVER “THE ICE PRINCESS” IS AWAY ON HER GLORY-SEEKING WORLD TOURS.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

4EVERCUSTOMS on August 27, 2007 at 8:46 pm

Debbie,
I find this amusing : “BASICALLY EVERYTHING THAT’S HAPPENED TO ICE HAS BEEN ON CLARK’S WATCH…”
Does that mean Mr. Clark gets all the credit for the huge amount of good work that has gone on since ICE was created, or for bringing this fledgling agency to life, through the lean budget years, to where we are today?
You make this statement as if everything that has ocurred since ICE was created has been a failure, and you are DEAD wrong! I know the rock throwers and bottle launchers will disagree, but they would be wrong. Have there been some misteps, and goofs? You betcha, but there have been huge positive gains, that continue to go un-noticed here. I know, it doesn’t fit your prescribed script, but it’s the facts.
4EVERCUSTOMS,
I believe Mr. Clark is still in the game, and I’ve heard nothing concerning his leaving for Commerce. Not saying it isn’t true, but I believe if it were true, I’d have heard about it.
Mr. Clark was the final arbitrater in the newly published OI/DRO Protocols, and I know he’s been engaged on a number of issues (read all of them) where other agencies were attempting to poach our legacy authorities.
What you don’t see from afar is that Mr. Clark has all of ICE (OI/DRO/FPS) to be concerned with, not just OI. That’s why you see Director Forman and Ray out front on the press conferences, etc.
This Sheepdog would follow John P. Clark into battle any day of the week, and you are right, we are always going to be better off with a real law enforcement LEADER in the drivers seat in HQS.
EVS

EverVigilantSheepdog on August 27, 2007 at 9:42 pm

Oh 4EVERCUSTOMS, you were truly law-enforcement nobility. How do you manage to type with those tears streaming down your face? What tears, say you? Those tears that fill your eyes when you look wistfully at your legacy customs badge in Lucite. Thatís right you f-ing loserÖyou wrote that crap. So, let me describe how pathetic you are. That legacy customs badge made you who you were. It defined you as a human being. Itís a piece of metal and it now conveys nothing but, still, you look at it and almost cry. John Clark (legacy Customs) Marcy Forman (legacy customs), the Fat Punk Paul Kilkoyne (sp)(legacy customs), the Fat Punk Gary Lang (legacy customs), and the 22 out of 26 legacy customs SACS made this agency what it is. Shut the F up you self-absorbed loser. The sooner idiots like you leave ICEÖthe better. Donít let the door smack you in your fat, do-nothing arrogant, complaining legacy customs ass.

El Deporto on August 27, 2007 at 11:05 pm

El Deporto,
Damn! You wake up on the wrong side of life today or what? 4EVERCUSTOMS made a number of legitimate points, and all you want to do is call him names? Big tough guy, hiding behind an alias, huh?
I think we all know who the loser here is.
Pitiful human behavior,
EVS

EverVigilantSheepdog on August 28, 2007 at 7:56 am

El Deporto …
If it wasn’t for the fact that I felt a portion of your statement needed to be addressed, I would have let your vitreol speak for itself as to the person you are.
That said, let’s focus on your “name dropping” and the fact that many people at the top of ICE OI are legacy Customs. Yes, that is true, but notice where the chain stops: ICE OI.
Now, if you could tell me that Ridge, Hutchinson, Loy, Chertoff, Mike Garcia (and his right-hand henchman, Mike Doherty) and Myers – the people REALLY responsible for destroying DHS and ICE from the BEGINNING – were legacy Customs, I’d shut my mouth and go my way. However, they were NOT. So, let me list their misdeeds and who they were affiliated with:
Ridge: Do nothing crony of President Bush; former Marine (Ha !!!) – biggest weakling DHS could have as its FIRST Secretary. Stood by and did NOTHING while the FBI asserted its “authority” over terrorism, DEA (courtesy of Karen Tandy via her poison plant, Hutchinson) tried to grab drugs outright and the Coasties (via poison plant Loy) muscled their way into an increased border enforcement role – all while allowing CBP to split off and do their own thing, totally unprecedented in border enforcement.
Garcia: First up, was LEGACY INS; no understanding WHATSOEVER of drugs, money or weapons investigations. Happy to sacrifice long term, complex criminal investigations for the quick admin arrest. Totally screwed up ICE’s budget. Total lack of policy development during his tenure. Let Air and Marine slip away to CBP.
Doherty: Again, LEGACY INS; no understanding or respect for the JOINT mission. Ruled HQ with fear and contempt for legacy Customs staff shotgunned into this debacle.
Chertoff: Has totally allowed the border enforcement entities to go their own ways – total lack of coordination and a clear pecking order to meet long-term objectives. Weak, aloof and disengaged from the field and its concerns (Katrina a perfect example of his imcompetence).
Myers: Brief tenure with LEGACY INS, but, otherwise TOTALLY INEXPERIENCED. Has totally bungled the budget (shared services agreement expiring 9/30; 49% of FY2008 budget to be paid to external entities for services rendered to ICE). No clue as to the field and criminal investigations. Total deference to Chertoff (and Bush) in pushing a largely immigration agenda that focuses on quick arrests (read Iowa and Ohio) and nothing on long-term investigations.
My point? It doesn’t matter how high level you are – if you are not AT THE TOP, you have to take your marching orders from those above you. You can blame Clark, Forman and others all you want, but they had to do and act as they were told by Ridge, Chertoff, Garcia, Myers and others who really f**ked up this outfit from the get-go – no one is going to risk losing their job or being relegated to irrelevance by being viewed as a renegade or a maverick.
And, I presume by your name that you are legacy INS, and, perhaps DRO. Trust me, my friend – I might be your whipping boy today. But, when the Dems get into power in ’08, and you can’t even arrest or deport anyone, come back and tell me if I was wrong.

4EVERCUSTOMS on August 29, 2007 at 8:12 am

“This Sheepdog would follow John P. Clark into battle any day of the week, and you are right, we are always going to be better off with a real law enforcement LEADER in the drivers seat in HQS.”
EVS
That’s all I need hear. CLARK has got to go. If EVS vouches for him, he’s got to be beyond F’ed up. Holy Mary, ICE is one mucked up puppy. Chertoff as AG? ROTFLOL. We are stuck with that snake in the grass. EVS has a better chance of being nominated for AG!

FingerEleven on August 30, 2007 at 1:01 am

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