July 14, 2005, - 11:15 pm

YES! & Buh-Bye: Eminem to QUIT Showbiz

By Debbie Schlussel
A front-pager in Friday’s Detroit Free Press announces that Eminem is stepping down from performing after his tour, this summer–according to insiders in the vile rapper’s camp. That the article is written by my friend, Brian McCollum–the Free Press’ rock critic and the only conservative rock critic in the country (probably the world, too)–is significant. Brian is a friend of Marshall Mathers III a/k/a Eminem and always has the scoop on him. Time to celebrate! Eminem, no good influence on America, is going away. Well, almost. Brian says that Eminem will remain behind the scenes to produce other crap (my word, not Brian’s) like Eminem’s. Hopefully, this means an end to Em’s songs about chopping up his wife and gang-raping his sister for her 10th birthday.

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4 Responses

Eminem
Eminem is a punk
Eminem is a pig
A pop slop idol posin as a hunk
Tryin to pass off in a rap stars gig
But all he is
Is a scared little boy
Pretending he’s the cut-throat biz
With his
Over-blown Mr Microphone toy
****
****
Eminem trashes
His own mom
Like that’s
Stepping up to bat
Hey
It must be real
Must be the steel deal
I mean after all he is wearin
A backwards base ball cap
Besides isn’t creativity
All about your bad rad self
And mouthy mouthing off
About everybody else
Like degrading
And berating
Your girlfriend
Specifically to a crowd
Should certainly boost
Your manly standing
And make one the bomb
No wonder he’s so proud
Eminem is a punk
Eminem is a pig
A pop slop idol posin as a hunk
Tryin to pass off in a rap stars gig
Neils
9:16 pm
12/07/2003
*
transcribed this time
1:01 am
07/15/2005

neilsthepoet on July 15, 2005 at 2:03 am

Shifting from center stage to behind the mixer isn’t getting out of show biz. In fact, it’s worse, since instead of focusing his efforts on his own music he’s going to have his fingers in multiple “musical” pots. Kinda like if a person stops delivering bombs in order to teach others how to make ‘em. (DISCLAIMER – I am NOT referring to rappers as bombers. It’s a simile, not a metaphor, and not all rap is horrible.)

Yngvai on July 15, 2005 at 9:09 pm

Rap
If it’s only entertainment
And no accounting for taste
And just what sells
****
****
Well then….
How much is your mother
How much is your soul
How much silver would it take
How much gold
If there?s
No accounting for taste
Just what sells
How much would you give
To get out of goin to Hell
Or don’t you care
Because nothing matters anyway
And there’s no connection between
Action taken and what you say
Personally
I don’t think it’s at all creative
I think it’s completely off the map
I don’t think it’s mere coincidence
That rap….rhymes with crap
Intentionally loud and abrasive
Comin out of cars at you
Left on when they go to pay for gas
Like hey what are you gonna do
****
****
It’s only entertainment
Says the fool without a clue
Like what if you give a thug a hug
Maybe then he won’t hurt you
It’s just vulture culture junk
Gangsta life sportin the same ol do
And if you think “that’s your opinion”
Then you’re an idiot too
Neils
8:03 pm
08/05/2003
*
transcribed this time
10:51 pm
08/29/2005

neilsthepoet on August 29, 2005 at 11:52 pm

Rap
If it’s only entertainment
And no accounting for taste
And just what sells
****
****
Well then….
How much is your mother
How much is your soul
How much silver would it take
How much gold
If there’s
No accounting for taste
Just what sells
How much would you give
To get out of goin to Hell
Or don’t you care
Because nothing matters anyway
And there’s no connection between
Action taken and what you say
Personally
I don’t think it’s at all creative
I think it’s completely off the map
I don’t think it’s mere coincidence
That rap….rhymes with crap
Intentionally loud and abrasive
Comin out of cars at you
Left on when they go to pay for gas
Like hey what are you gonna do
****
****
It’s only entertainment
Says the fool without a clue
Like what if you give a thug a hug
Maybe then he won’t hurt you
It’s just vulture culture junk
Gangsta life sportin the same ol do
And if you think “that’s your opinion”
Then you’re an idiot too
Neils
8:03 pm
08/05/2003
*
transcribed this time
10:51 pm
08/29/2005

neilsthepoet on August 29, 2005 at 11:53 pm

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