October 4, 2007, - 12:20 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Oh, the absurdity of “carbon footprints.” Now, there’s an even more absurd concept: “carbon pawprints.”
Pet-owner environmentalists feel “eco-guilty” because, after all, their bizarre, extreme eco-habits don’t go far enough. They now have to hate themselves because their dogs and cats may be contributing to global warming.
Not to fear. Newsweek reports that there are now all-natural, organic dog-food, biodegradable boxes for doggie poop (to replace those sinful plastic bags which clog landfills), and leashes made of hemp.
A whole industry has sprouted around the undue guilt of these extremist absurdos. The enviro-guilty nutjobs are causing the natural pet products industry gang to laugh all the way to the bank. My favorite is the 100 percent organic cotton kimono for your doggie:
Derrick Mains, 34, of Mesa, Ariz., considers himself a green kind of guy. He recycles, doesn’t litter and eats organic. But Mains, an environmental consultant, still feels eco-guilty. That’s why he buys his two rescue dogs, Copa and Lola, all-natural, organic food. And instead of plastic bags that wind up in landfills, he’s using a biodegradable box to scoop up their waste. Next on the agenda? Leashes made from earth-friendly hemp. “My dogs and I are trying to save the planet,” Mains says.
Since neither Copa nor Lola can vote for the Green Party, it’s up to humans like Mains to make “the right choices that can help pets be more in tune with the environment,” says Anthony Zolezzi, coauthor of “How Dog Food Saved the Earth.” And more consumers are making those choices. According to market-research firm Packaged Facts, U.S. retail sales of natural pet products are expected to reach $1.3 billion this year, up from $558 million in 2003. By 2012, the market should top $2.5 billion. There is no shortage of marketers willing to help consumers part with some of their green pet bucks. . . .
With all that newfound social consciousness, your pet deserves a spa treatment. Look no farther than Cain & Able, a line of all-natural dog shampoos and sprays that, in truly Orwellian fashion, were first tested on humans.
Ridiculous. But, yet another manifestation of my view that the PETA folks (on this site, we call them PUTAh–People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans) have one. Pets are the New People.
In Austria, animal-rights activist Dr. Martin Balluch is trying to get a chimp legally declared a person, in order to keep the animal from becoming homeless after its shelter goes bankrupt. He even gave the animal a human name, “Matthew Hiasl Pan.”
After all, the dog can become an important force in the cause against global warming.
Tags: animal rights activist, Anthony Zolezzi, Arizona, Austria, bank, Debbie Schlussel Oh, Derrick Mains, environmental consultant, Green Party, Martin Balluch, Matthew Hiasl Pan, Mesa, Newsweek, organic dog-food, organic food, Packaged Facts, Pet, retail sales, United States, USD