October 4, 2007, - 12:20 pm

Animal Rights/Global Warming Conflict: Is Your Pet Carbon Neutral?

By Debbie Schlussel
Oh, the absurdity of “carbon footprints.” Now, there’s an even more absurd concept: “carbon pawprints.”
Pet-owner environmentalists feel “eco-guilty” because, after all, their bizarre, extreme eco-habits don’t go far enough. They now have to hate themselves because their dogs and cats may be contributing to global warming.
Not to fear. Newsweek reports that there are now all-natural, organic dog-food, biodegradable boxes for doggie poop (to replace those sinful plastic bags which clog landfills), and leashes made of hemp.

dogperson.jpg

A whole industry has sprouted around the undue guilt of these extremist absurdos. The enviro-guilty nutjobs are causing the natural pet products industry gang to laugh all the way to the bank. My favorite is the 100 percent organic cotton kimono for your doggie:

Derrick Mains, 34, of Mesa, Ariz., considers himself a green kind of guy. He recycles, doesn’t litter and eats organic. But Mains, an environmental consultant, still feels eco-guilty. That’s why he buys his two rescue dogs, Copa and Lola, all-natural, organic food. And instead of plastic bags that wind up in landfills, he’s using a biodegradable box to scoop up their waste. Next on the agenda? Leashes made from earth-friendly hemp. “My dogs and I are trying to save the planet,” Mains says.
Since neither Copa nor Lola can vote for the Green Party, it’s up to humans like Mains to make “the right choices that can help pets be more in tune with the environment,” says Anthony Zolezzi, coauthor of “How Dog Food Saved the Earth.” And more consumers are making those choices. According to market-research firm Packaged Facts, U.S. retail sales of natural pet products are expected to reach $1.3 billion this year, up from $558 million in 2003. By 2012, the market should top $2.5 billion. There is no shortage of marketers willing to help consumers part with some of their green pet bucks. . . .
With all that newfound social consciousness, your pet deserves a spa treatment. Look no farther than Cain & Able, a line of all-natural dog shampoos and sprays that, in truly Orwellian fashion, were first tested on humans.

Ridiculous. But, yet another manifestation of my view that the PETA folks (on this site, we call them PUTAh–People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans) have one. Pets are the New People.
***
In Austria, animal-rights activist Dr. Martin Balluch is trying to get a chimp legally declared a person, in order to keep the animal from becoming homeless after its shelter goes bankrupt. He even gave the animal a human name, “Matthew Hiasl Pan.”
After all, the dog can become an important force in the cause against global warming.

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9 Responses

Do these people have anything better to do with their lives? Really…what do they do with their lives? When was the last time they ever went out? Do they really have lives outside of this social gathering to destory america in the gise of animal rights?

Squirrel3D on October 4, 2007 at 7:13 pm

Debbie, Just thought I’d point out the monkey story you talk about above is in Austria (Vienna, to be exact) and not Australia as you have in your post.
[ADAM: OOPS. THANKS FOR YOUR VIGILANCE. CORRECTED. DS]

Adam on October 4, 2007 at 7:31 pm

Time to put the chimp down.

Jeremiah on October 4, 2007 at 8:48 pm

Oh, for shat’s sake….this is hilarious. ALL dog food is “organic” (in the BS sense the eco freaks use the term) and all poop is biodegradeable.
After a lifetime breeding, raising, training, and competing in trials (trials not “shows” when ever possible) with horses and dogs, let me say right now, this eco crapola guilt trip is 99.9% hype….of the same kind I shoveled out of stalls for years, and still collect from the prodigous deposits of my German Shepherds.
The serious “pet” and competition animal industry has been way ahead on the case for years now,decades actually; manure is spread on pasture fields as fertilizer for hay grasses, and dog poop can be degraded in special depositories designed for the purpose than can be sunk in to the ground in any back yard, from 400 square feet to 400 acres. It can also be composted and re-used as enriched soils for gardens.
As for dog foods, the “natural foods” program is old news now, with some adherants, and some who prefer dry kibble with occasional raw meats. You like “natural”, then steam veggies and buy 40 lb boxes of raw chicken backs from Mr Chicken butcher at Eastern Market or else where. Raw chicken backs, from the young chickens slaughtered these days, are totally digestable by dogs. You can throw in the occasional cow leg bone with skeletal meats and gristle still afixed in spots….far better raw then boiled to snot (makes the bone brittle).
If you don’t feel like being gourmet chef to your gourmand doggie, buy a premium dry kibble, like Wysong, Pro-Plan, Diamond Pro, etc., and give the occasional beef bone raw (skip the feed on that day for large dogs…mine consume 80% of the bone itself within 8 to 10 hoiurs maximum)….good for their teeth and most certainly “organic” and natural. If you want to get real fancy, go for “Royal Canin” dry kibble, a breed specific blend product….for German Shepherds it is “Royal Canin 24″…other numbers for other breeds.
BTW, the term “organic” is also crap, since it refers to carbon chains chemically, like petroleum and derivative fuels & solvents…not good feed for you or doggie. “Natural” refers to food products mirroring nature. Natural foods include “organic” components, but are not defined by them. Some of the best include Wysong (due to low heat process, quality ingredients, local Michigan made, never on the poison list last year, etc….not to mention will ship factory direct to your front door) or Purina’s Pro-Plan, again quality ingredients, widely available, never on any poison recall list, including something unique to them as far as I know, that they refer to as “animal digest”, which is a composition of natural enzymes found in prey animals stomachs, and helps other foods digestion in canines…e.g., the thing the Alpha Wolf is going for when he first eats the prey animal stomach and intestine….and that IS the first thing consumed.
These “experts” who’ve likely never tilled a field, weaned a dog, or foaled a horse, riden a horse to cut a calf from the herd, think they’ve invented something….re-invented the wheel is more like it. They need to talk to some farmers and ranchers perhaps, better yet, actually work on a farm for a couple years…ya know, the guys who’ve been “organic” for a few milleniums.
Rant over now. Kthxbai

Zoyadog on October 4, 2007 at 8:58 pm

Whopps, I lied…more rant…..
“Hemp Leashes”….yee gawds, that might be fine for toy poodles or chihuahuas, but use them on powerfull dogs or as leads for horses and get used to a disjointed elbow and shoulders. Nylon and other synthetics will mostly kick your butt over time. “Hemp?” Same thing, even if degradeable. Hemp is for rope, not leads and leashes.
This just in: Leather is biodegradeable, and absorbs shock. Hello? Cotton is also biodegradealbe, but less resiliant to shock…I use 33 foot cotton leads only ’cause I’m cheap and not a big tracking fan….I do the minumum on long lead work. If you do a lot, you use leather. Period.
Now “shampoos and condtioners”…uh, excuse me, they are not necessary at all, not even a little bit. When necessary to rinse off the dead deer or possum corpse your adorable pooch just rolled in, or the poop pile your dear horsie just rolled in, use plain water to rinse off, and towel dry, then rub down with your hands. The oils from your hands, plus those drawn out from the animals skin, by hand rubbing, are superior to any commerical product. Bar none. Even more true for horses. Periodic brushing, currying, hand rubbing, and occasional light rinsing with plain water is all-you-need. You skip that for a month or so, and your pooch stinks, its your fault…and “shampoos” alone merely mask it. Use your hands, daily, dang it, they’re the best grooming device ever.
As for this shampoo etc. thing for cats….if you use it, you got more guts than I do. Lacerations are not my thing.

Zoyadog on October 4, 2007 at 9:39 pm

Don’t eat the yellow snow.

John Cunningham on October 5, 2007 at 5:35 am

I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not, but “PUTA” is Spanish for a prostitute.

hockeykevin on October 5, 2007 at 11:40 am

PUTah is the most appropriate name I can think of… PUTA in spanish means prositute or Whore – which is exactly what these people are… Self absorbed emotional whores.

RC Flyer on October 5, 2007 at 9:58 pm

Join PERV – People for the Ethical Regard of Vegetables.
* How would you like to be separated from your nether regions, plunged into a boiling cauldron of oil or water and then eaten?
* How would you like to have your genitalia cut off and used to decorate churches, houses and the bosoms of human females?
* How would you like to have your unborn children put in a mill and ground up over the corpses of related species?
* How would you like to have your head cut off so that people can play football on you?
* And it?s a matter of your own health. Do you realise that leguminous vegetables such as peas and beans fix deadly nitrogen from the air, which could give you cancer?
Act now! Send a large cheque to the Number Watch Cayman Island account to become a member of PERV. In return, you will receive a free catalogue of synthetised proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and fibre (no fat, of course) with price list. Leave the flowers where they are in the field. You know it makes scents.
From http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/2002%20February.htm

terrence on October 6, 2007 at 5:26 pm

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