April 4, 2006, - 5:02 pm

Hilarious: Major Investment Co. Hires New Fallujah Educator as Key “Financial” Honcho

By Debbie Schlussel
If you’re investing with Oppenheimer, now might be the time to get out and hire a new financial advisor.
Why? Well for starters, the hiring of Mario Morrow.
In today’s Detroit Free Press, it was announced that Mr. Morrow was “retained by Oppenheimer and Co. in New York as a chief educational financial advisor.”
We think it’s hilarious that a major investment house would hire Morrow.
We’re very familiar with Mr. Morrow. He was a principal of George Ford Elementary School in one of the worst school districts in the country, Detroit. Then he was the spokesman and advisor to the man, Kenneth Burnley, who ran the ENTIRE Detroit Public Schools school district. It remains, despite Mr. Morrow’s involvement, one of the worst school districts in the United States. That is also despite millions and millions being thrown at the school district.

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Mario Morrow: A Reason to Take Your Money Away from Oppenheimer

It has a very high drop-out rate, a high rate of illiterate graduates, and very, very unsafe schools. Little changed with Mr. Morrow’s involvement. His hiring–or the hiring of ANYONE so closely connected with the Third World Republic of Detroit Schools–by Oppenheimer might just be one of the signs that the Apocalypse is upon us.
Mr. Morrow, who bills himself as a political consultant, political pundit, campaign advisor, educator, and–now–financial advisor, seems to be a jack of all trades. And–as evidenced by the Detroit school district morass that continues to fester and mestastasize–a master of none.
Add to that the fact that Morrow supports the payment of gazillions in reparations to Black Americans by U.S. taxpayers. Hmmm . . . we wonder if Oppenheimer supports that. Its investors should ask.
Would you take financial advice from anyone who had a hand in the Detroit educational black hole? Educational advice? No way. Unless you’re trying to lose a lot of money, real fast. It’s kind of like hiring a fat chick to be your personal trainer. Not advisable.
So why did Oppenheimer hire him? Don’t leave your money there long enough to find out.

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5 Responses

I’ll take a stab at this one, Debbie: They want a high profile black man to parade around and stand next to them in pictures who will have a made-up/irrelevant policy position…Ok what do I win?

shleppy on April 4, 2006 at 7:24 pm

As America’s most beloved sham meister, Don King would say, “only in America!”. Only in America can you consistently fail to the point where the bar of expectations couldn’t possibly be set any lower where you’re actually rewarded with a cushy “Consultant” Job like Morrow is getting. Only in America!

Yiddish Steel on April 4, 2006 at 11:42 pm

So that is what I am doing wrong, I am actually “trying” to succeed and I take responsibility for my actions. I shoudl just continually fail and underperform and I will have to do less and get more.

hunkpapa on April 5, 2006 at 9:29 am

Definately,shoulda been number one draft pick for Enron.

jaywilton on April 5, 2006 at 9:59 am

yidlimpsteal:don king hates jews and he and his kind use evey little bit of news time they get to help that cause.And by the way (yid steel)how’s that saving for a trip to israel going?remember?.what joke that a don king is what …..

danny on April 6, 2006 at 3:29 pm

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