June 26, 2006, - 4:37 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
On Friday, our friend Rush Limbaugh hosted an event in Washington, featuring some cast members of FOX’s “24.”
We had to laugh, however, when we heard that the event also featured a man who thinks he’s like “24‘s” brave, resourceful counterterrorism agent Jack Bauer, but isn’t.
The man, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff a/k/a “Mr. Burns,” reminds us of several characters on “24”–the recalcitrant, incompetent, desk jockey Homeland Security bureaucrats who, every season, oppose Agent Bauer’s attempts to get the terrorists and always throw obstacles in his way.
We especially laughed at Chertoff’s speech in which he claimed he can relate to Jack Bauer because, “like Homeland Security,” the characters on the show,
they’re always trying to make the best choice with a series of bad options.
Uh, no. It’s the exact opposite. At DHS, the real-life Chertoff “makes the worst decisions out of many available good options.” Sometimes, he picks options so bad no-one would even think such options were on the table, like picking the woman his chief of staff is sleeping with (Julie L. Myers) to head up our nation’s failed immigration enforcement–with her sole qualification being that she has relatives (and a bed partner) in high places. Etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam.
Then, there is Mary Lynn Rajskub, the actress who plays supercompetent, but diplomacy-deaf “Chloe” on “24.” She was a failed artist and loser from a working class Detroit area town, whose best role was as Adam Sandler’s sister in one of his worst movies (and since most of his movies are horrid, that’s saying a lot). But she lucked out when producer Joel Surnow hired her for the hottest show on TV.
So what does she do? She disses the conservatives who make up a huge portion of the “24” fan base that helped make her rich, calling them
sort of odd, you know. I don’t know what to think of it. I’m really kind of beside myself.
(Video here.) Thanks, Chloe. Way to bite the hand that feeds you.
Time to send Chloe and Mr. Burns to early retirement. Watch the video report by our friend, ABC’s Jake Tapper, to watch both of their absurd comments. And President Logan in a beard and multiple earrings. No joke.
We’ll take Tony Almeida (played by actor Carlos Bernard), any day, though. If he weren’t dead.
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