June 28, 2006, - 8:17 am

New York Dog: Buh-Bye, Star Jones; 1 Down, 4 Annoying Biddies to Go

By Debbie Schlussel
So the annoying, insane former tub o’ lard, Star Jones, has been fired from anti-male yenta-fest “The View,” a/k/a “The Spew.” One down, 3 more old biddies (and one younger annoying one who pretends to be a conservative but is just an inane airhead) to go.
The best part about this whole thing is that we get to watch the forever annoying Baba Wawa (Barbra Walters to those not in the know) and Jones fighting about it all over the place, not to mention Walters openly lying about the whole thing (and getting caught with a million different stories). It’s like “Alien Versus Predator.”

starjonesdog.jpgstarjonesswimsuitedition.jpg

Dogs AND Bitches Pose for the Camera

While we’re happy to see Jones go, we’re outraged that the only reason she was let go was “the research,” according to Walters. They didn’t fire her when, the day after the 2002 Passover Massacre in Israel, Jones urged understanding of the terrorists because people in “different cultures” deal with their problems in other ways, and “we shouldn’t apply our western mores to them.” Innocent families were blown to bits while they celebrated Passover at a hotel, but Jones’ absurd commentary was, unfortunately, not a reason to fire her in the absurd mind of unduly-respected pseudo-journalist biddy Walters. Nor was it even enough of a reason for Walters or any of the other co-hosts to protest or respond.
Then, there are the other reasons we shan’t miss Star Jones:
* Her nationally broadcast discussions of her tampon use. TMI.
* Her statements on “The View” relating the War on Terror to George Bush’s penis and unzipped pants.
* Her use of an unemployed Iraq War veteran to denounce the war. We’re still waiting for her (and other View co-hosts) to carry out their promise to get him a job. Jones: “We gon’ get you a job!” Ri-i-i-i-i-ight.
* Her endless blind love odes to Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, and any other liberal politician of note.
* Her endless discussions of her overextravagant, multi-million dollar wedding, at age 42 to a gay man 10 years her junior, and her many extracted free “gifts,” including her free honeymoon courtesy of terrorist-helper United Arab Emirates. Shameless whore that she is, Jones gave the confederation and country Dubai plenty of free plugs on “The View,” in exchange.
* Her breast implant operation (openly admitted on the show) and her stomach-stapling surgery (not admitted on the show; she pretended she lost her outer whale of blubber through “exercise”).
We also won’t miss her pre-“View” antics like celebrating the acquittal of admitted murderer Lemrick Nelson and asking him “How do you feel?” three times. Who cares how he feels. How does the family of his victim– a Jewish man taking a walk in Brooklyn, who was deliberately targeted by Lemrick for murder because he was a Jew– feel? Jones didn’t care about that.
More on why we hate Star Jones, courtesy of our friends at Am I Annoying. Here’s our fave pic of Star Jones reading her own book (which she obviously didn’t write)–a book ostensibly about exercise, nutrition and weight loss advice by a fat chick who got a stomach-stapling operation. Snake oil in a (size 45) skirt.
starjonesbook.jpg

Star Jones Discovers What’s in the Book She “Wrote”

The bad news is that there already rumors the former fatty and still-currently fathead will guest host on CNN’s “Larry King Live.” Heaven help us (or, at least, help the idiots still watching that silly show).
Buh-Bye, Star Jones. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

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9 Responses

Debbie, this is going to turn out to be some serious fun. I just saw on Drudge that it’s turning ugly (no pun intended).
The old nags are now turning on each other. Meowwwww!….hisssssss!!!!
I think Walters & Co. are discriminating against Star because she is a strong black woman. I think there should be boycotts and protests. They are replacing a black woman with yet another white woman (well, biologically I think)? Haven’t Walters and the rest of the crew ever heard of diversity in the marketplace?
I think Baba Wawa and the rest of The View need some sensitivity training. I wonder what percentages of minorities work on the cast and crew? Where is Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton?
Where’s my homey Eminem’s Revenge to join the righteous cause for a put upon sista?

Jeff_W on June 28, 2006 at 12:24 pm

Good stuff, Debbie. I am loving all the turmoil on The Spew.

Jeff on June 28, 2006 at 2:15 pm

I don’t know who she is because I don’t watch the morning or afternoon programs. I’ve seen her pics on magazine covers, but I knew nothing of her. I know Barbara Walters. But when I finally saw Jones so many years later, I was shock to see her transformation:
http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/upload/2006/04/starshead.jpg
And then it clicked, she’s the mother of
http://www.backwashzine.com/beetle.jpg
I was watching the show and was laughing. The broad I was with got pissed, but I was laughing

KOAJaps on June 28, 2006 at 3:27 pm

Grrrr

Marcubius on June 28, 2006 at 5:50 pm

Debbie they should bring you on to replace the conservative airhead. I’d enjoy seeing you and Rosie have a go.

shleppy on June 28, 2006 at 6:57 pm

The sad part is, where I live, most of the women both think, talk, act and look like this woman. The good news is, they can finally take those expensive, steel beams reinforcing the sound stage floors on the set of The View. It was costly to keep re-welding them back into a straight line.

Dairenn on June 28, 2006 at 6:59 pm

Yeah, I just read Drudge report, and the whole thing is just beyond convoluted.
It’s almost like Barbara Walters is engaging in a type of wag-the-dog war…..so as not to be accused of racism.
That’s really the next level to this: playing the race card…
And so Walters is engaging in all these smoke-n-mirrors tactics for fear of being attacked by the Black community.
That’s my theory anyway.

glamchild on June 28, 2006 at 9:38 pm

I don’t watch “The View,” however, I did plan on tuning in once the big, angry Lesbian (Rosie O’Donnell) joined the show. I was so looking forward to her and Starzilla clawing each other’s eyes out. But, alas…
“STARZILLA”! HILAAAAAAAAAARIOUS! LUV IT. I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT, TOO. THAT WAS A RATINGS MISTAKE ON ABC’S AND BABA WAWA’S PART.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Freudianslippers on June 29, 2006 at 12:31 am

Not only is poor Star being discriminated against because she is a black woman, it’s possible she is being discriminated against because of her hubby.
Don’t ya love how these sweet, compassionate libs can get down and dirty when it comes to money and fame?
GOOD POINTS!
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

The_Man on June 29, 2006 at 12:45 am

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