July 5, 2006, - 3:21 pm

Big Flop: Jose Canseco Without Steroids

By Debbie Schlussel
On this site, we’ve knocked federal lawmakers who’ve appointed themselves the coppos of the steroid control industry in pro sports. We think Congress has far more important things to do than insert themselves into a debate no-one really cares about . . . except jock-wannabes with the first name of Congressman.
If the public didn’t want to see exciting baseball, they’d avoid the steroid-enhanced, BALCO produced baseball players of today with their high number of hits. But the public is going to see exactly those games and voting with their pocketbooks.
That said, we note today’s AP coverage of Jose Canseco’s new baseball “career” minus the steroids. Monday, he took the field with the minor league San Diego Surf Dawgs of the independent Golden Baseball League.

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Robo-Player: Jose Canseco When He Was Using

The now steroid-less Canseco struck out three times and was hit by a pitch in the Surf Dawgs’ 4-3 victory (a performance so bad that he is now seeking a trade from the team after just one game, due to “family obligations”–ri-i-i-ight). It’s a far cry from his Major League Baseball career in which he was the 1988 American League MVP and the first player to steal 40 bases and slug 40 homers in a season. Clearly, steroids made a difference in Canseco’s baseball abilities. (He openly admitted to using them in his book, “Juiced,” and in a 2005 “60 Minutes” interview promoting it.
Even though he stank, Canseco was the draw of the evening–a big gimmick resembling the 1951 use of midget Eddie Gaedel by baseball’s St. Louis Browns in order to draw spectators. The game drew 4,501 fans–the largest crowd ever to watch a game at Nettleton Stadium.
Canseco says he is working on a movie about his career. We wonder if baseball’s White Dennis Rodman will include his abysmal Surf Dawg “performance” will be included.

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One Response

I think my all-time Jose Canseco on-the field highlight is the one where he’s back-peddling on a flyball while playing left field at Cleveland Municipal Stadium (The Mistake By The Lake) and the ball hits him on the head and goes over the fence for a home run.
My favorite off-the-field highlight was when his ex-wife got into a “traffic altercation” with him and she punched him in the face and kicked him in the balls while the tabloid papparazzi was there to get it on a 4″x6″ glossy.

Yiddish Steel on July 5, 2006 at 4:45 pm

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