July 12, 2006, - 10:21 am

EXCLUSIVE: Baseball & Illegal Aliens: How Immigration’s John Torres is Soaking Taxpayers for Tommy Lasorda (& Himself)

By Debbie Schlussel
Question: What do immigration enforcement and baseball have in common?
Answer: Tommy Lasorda and the $30,001-50,000 of your tax money Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is paying him to speak at a waste of time confab of ICE Detention and Removal Operations officials from around the country.

johntorres.jpgtommylasorda.jpgjuliemyerssmall.jpg

Desperate But Not Serious About Immigration:

ICE’s John Torres, Tommy Lasorda, Julie Myers

Beginning Monday, about 60 ICE officials–most of them regional chiefs and deputy chiefs of ICE’s Detention and Removal Operations–will spend the week listening to Lasorda and other endless speeches and eating steak dinners, all courtesy of you, the American taxpayer. That includes the two travel days that have been allotted for this exercise in waste and abuse.
What does Lasorda–whose most prominent professional experience beside baseball is serving as a spokesman for weight loss drink Slimfast–know about immigration? Nothing–unless you count importing Latino foreign nationals to play for him on the baseball diamond.
The event–for which you will also be paying $49 per day in per diem expenses, four nights of hotel stays, and roundtrip airfare per ICE attendee–begins Monday night with a steak dinner ($50 per plate, courtesy of–you guessed it–you!) and a speech by Lasorda. The speakers bureau that represents him sets the baseball figure’s fees at up to $50,000 (minimum $30,001), and we’ve confirmed with sources that ICE will, indeed, be paying Lasorda that amount. In addition to that, sources say that ICE will pay for chauffeur-driven transportation to and from Lasorda’s California home to the airport and to and from the Kansas City airport to the hotel, as well as first-class, round-trip airfare.
The conference was organized by ICE Director of Detention and Removal Operations (DRO) John Torres to promote, well, himself. It’s not that Torres’ Field Office Directors (FODs) and their deputies want to waste a week at this event, away from catching and deporting illegal aliens. Torres made their attendance mandatory. Not mandatory, but still paid for by you, are the professional photographer ICE is also transporting to the event from Dallas and the photos Mr. Torres will be posing for with each ICE attendee. Torres does not have enough money to house apprehended illegal aliens, yet he can afford to fly an ICE employee to this event to serve as full-time tax-paid bartender in a tax-funded hospitality suite for the duration of the conference.
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Homeland Security’s John Torres & Michael Chertoff Announce

Their New Employee . . . Tommy Lasorda?

ICE’s DRO has never had such a conference. But Torres–who wants to head up the Department of Justice Prisoner and Alien Transport System (“Con Air”)–is desperate to promote and save himself. To do the trick, he snared FOX News Channel’s E. D. Hill to speak at and cover the event on the news network.
Plucked from the INS Office of Investigations, Torres has no experience in detention and removal of illegal aliens. His incompetence was manifested in a scathing Homeland Security Inspector General report on DRO, withheld from the public and then finally released in May. The report cited DRO’s release to the great American abyss of hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens who came from terrorist-host nations, had serious criminal records, or both. Torres has done little to address the problems cited in the report.
Torres is also under scrutiny over a series of controversial appointments he has given to unqualified friends and cronies, while demoting or transferring agents with detention and removal experience out of those positions. He is under investigation over a special position he created for a woman with whom he is reportedly having an extramarital affair. She is from Kansas City, the site of the Lasorda ICE event and the location of the new position Torres has offered her. Torres created a super-secret “career review board” in order to supercede standard hiring of the most qualified detention and removal candidates for positions.
The event is being held with the approval of and attendance by Assistant Homeland Security Secretary for ICE Julie L. Myers (a/k/a “The ICE Princess”) and the site of the conference is also her hometown, which she frequently visits. So much for her testimony to a Senate committe pledging to rein in ICE’s finances and demand fiscal accountability. Although Myers wasted ICE money to hire her own personal attorney from Yale, ICE’s Office of the Principle Legal Advisor will be attending. They might as well have something to do on the taxpayer’s dime, since she isn’t allowing them to do their job for her.
The conference is reminiscent of then-INS Commissioner John Ziglar’s planned wasteful conference in San Francisco, the same weekend as his son’s wedding, also in San Francisco. He left the INS soon after, and Myers will soon leave to give birth.
Also in attendance at the event will be other ICE officials such as Director of Investigations Marcy Forman-Friedman, who recently wrote a memo to ICE agents telling them to release illegal aliens without “derogatory” criminal records. Another conference attendee, John Clark–ICE’s 2nd in command–has his own problems. He orchestrated a deal for ICE not to discipline his buddy–a top ICE official convicted of a sex crime against a minor–and is, like Torres, under investigation over promising a promotion to an ICE clerical employee with whom he had a relationship.
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff is also expected to make an appearance at this event. And if he does, that will be the symbolic icing on the cake. He is ultimately in charge of and responsible for the capture and deportation of illegal aliens. And he is aware of this wasteful conference paid for by tax dollars meant for alien apprehension, not Tommy Lasorda.
The thousands of dollars spent for the week-long ICE party would have been better spent on the annual salary for two additional ICE detention and removal agents. Or more ICE bedspace to house apprehended aliens, sorely insufficient right now, according to the Inspector General report.
But desperate Homeland Security and ICE simply aren’t serious about stemming the tide of illegal aliens. Adam Ant was right: Desperate but not serious. And that’s the whole Lasordid affair.
****
Contact John Torres. Tell him what you think of paying Tommy Lasorda thousands from the Immigration Enforcement budget. E-mail or Phone him: 202-514-0078 or 202-514-8663; Fax: 202-353-9435.
**** UPDATE, 07/13/06: Check out ICE’s spin campaign in response to this column. ICE is doing the only thing its incompetent execs know how to do when confronted with their own wrongdoing: deny, deny, deny. ****

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15 Responses

WTF??????????!?!!!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!!!!?!?!?!!?
Speechless.

ICEAGENT on July 12, 2006 at 11:33 am

Deb,
I appreciate your no-holds-barred critiques of the DHS, ICE, and all the incompetent boobs and their cronies that hold rank there. But, the more you talk about the tax payer money they waste on this kind of crap, the more incensed I become. On the other hand, you’re also promoting what a cake job it must be to be a part of this organization. If I were looking into working in Federal Law ENforcement, i’d choose ICE. It sounds like a party over there all the time.

Yiddish Steel on July 12, 2006 at 12:38 pm

Debbie who would’ve guessed that a establishing a huge new bureaucracy wasn’t going to do the trick? Do you think that your comments on Torres get him in any hot water or undermine him in the office? He must at least be eating in the office this week.

shleppy on July 12, 2006 at 1:26 pm

no one should be laughing.

danny on July 12, 2006 at 3:18 pm

Hey Debbie ?
Not sure where you got your information for this one?but someone sold you a bill of lies. I work for ICE and happen to know specifically that Tommy Lasorda is not being paid to speak. He has volunteered to do this for free. If you?re gonna blast ICE, you need to get your facts straight first.
Agent Orange
AGENT ORANGE:
LOOKS LIKE THE CHEMICAL REALLY GOT TO YOU. IN FACT, LASORDA IS DONATING HIS FEE TO CHARITY. SO, TECHNICALLY, THE SPIN MACHINE AT ICE–WHICH IS ALREADY IN MOTION–CAN CLAIM HE’S DOING IT FOR FREE. BUT HE ISN’T. DO TAXPAYERS REALLY WANT TO DONATE $30-50K TO TOMMY LASORDA’S FAVE CHARITY? I DON’T THINK SO. REGARDLESS, I’M SURE TOMMY’S SPEECH WILL COME IN REAL HANDY CATCHING AND DEPORTING ILLEGAL ALIENS, WHICH IS WHAT DRO OFFICIALS SHOULD BE DOING NEXT WEEK, INSTEAD OF BEING USED AS MANNEQUINS AND MALE SUPERMODELS IN THE TORRES IMAGE REHAB CAMPAIGN.
AND IS THE HOTEL DONATING FREE LIQUOR AND A HOSPITALITY SUITE, TOO? HOTEL ROOMS? CONFERENCE ROOMS? AIRFARE? DID TAXPAYERS AGREE TO DONATE ICE EMPLOYEES TO SERVE AS PHOTOGS AND BARTENDERS FOR 3.5 DAYS PLUS TRAVEL? LOOKS LIKE THE BILL OF GOODS IS IN YOUR POCKET, NOT MINE. OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Agent Orange on July 12, 2006 at 3:20 pm

Debbie – there you go again. Your B.S. is good, but that’s all it is — B.S. I know for a fact that ICE is paying no money to Lasorda or any charity whatsoever. Your source is making you look pretty pathetic in public — not that it hasn’t happened before — as a number of your postings have been riddled with inaccurate information. ICE definitely has its share of problems, but this ain’t one of them. Sorry to have to be the one to bring you this news li’l debbie.
AGENT ORANGE:
STOP STEALING THE GREAT RONALD REAGAN’S LINES RESERVED FOR WALTER MONDULL AND JIMMY “THE PEANUT PREZ” CARTER. FACTS ARE STUBBORN THINGS, AND I REPORTED THE FACTS. IT IS SOURCES (PLURAL)–SEVERAL OF WHOM CONFIRMED THIS. PERIOD. THOU DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH. THE ONLY THING RIDDLED WITH INACCURATE INFO ARE THESE COMMENTS (YOURS) BY AN ANONYMOUS POSTER (YOU) WHO MUST HAVE THE FIRST NAME OF JOHN OR CHAR OR KATHERINE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
OH, AND BY THE WAY, WHAT ARE YOUR ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS WASTEFUL, SILLY CONFERENCE TO PROMOTE YOUR BUDDY JOHN TORRES (IF HE ISN’T YOU, WHICH MAY BE THE CASE, JUDGING FROM THE “QUALITY” AND STYLE OF YOUR COMMENTS)? WHY ARE TAXPAYERS PAYING AN ICE DRO EMPLOYEE TO PLAY BARTENDER FOR 3.5 DAYS AND FULL TRAVEL, EXPENSES? DITTO FOR THE ICE PHOTOG? WHY? IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT THIS WEEKLONG WASTE OF TAXPAYER TIME AND MONEY IS ONE OF ICE’S PROBLEMS, WE HAVE A GOOD LASIK SURGEON WE CAN SUGGEST FOR YOU FOR CORRECTION OF URGENT VISION PROBLEMS. WHAT WILL ICE DRO FODS AND DEPUTIES LEARN FROM TOMMY LASORDA–HOW TO KEEP GEORGE STEINBRENNER FROM GETTING EL DUQUE HIS GREEN CARD AFTER A COUPLE OF PHONE CALLS?
WHAT WILL ICE DRO FODS AND DEPUTIES LEARN FROM SPEECHES BY PEPPERMINT PATTY (FORMAN-FRIEDMAN), WHEN SHE HASN’T A CLUE ABOUT DRO AND HEADS THE ICE OFFICE OF INVESTIGATIONS? THEY MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING IF SHE TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW SHE AND THE CUSTOMS PEOPLE HATE TORRES AS MUCH AS THE INS DRO PEOPLE AND THAT’S WHY THEY GAVE HIM THE JOB (TO GET HIM OUT OF THEIR WAY). WHAT WILL THE DRO OFFICIALS IN ATTENDANCE LEARN FROM A SPEECH FROM JOHN CLARK–HOW TO HAVE A “RELATIONSHIP” WITH A CLERICAL EMPLOYEE IN EXCHANGE FOR PROMISES OF PROMOTIONS IN ICE? THE MAN SHOULD BE FIRED, NOT GIVING SPEECHES TO ICE DRO PEOPLE FOR A WEEK, WHEN THEY SHOULD BE BACK AT THEIR HOME BASES, APPREHENDING ALIENS.
SORRY, BUT TOMMY’S GETTING THE MONEY, AND THE DRIVER, AND THE PLANE TIX, ETC., ETC., AD NAUSEAM, AD ABSURDUM . . . ALL TO PROMOTE JOHN TORRES’ UNBRIDLED (AND UNWARRANTED) AMBITIONS. I’M GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE “HARD AT WORK” JUST LIKE HIM, SINCE I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOUR INITIAL POST WAS MADE FROM YOUR ICE OFFICE DURING THE WORK DAY. NEW NOVEL IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT APPROACH: POST MESSAGES ON MY WEBSITE TO MAGICALLY CATCH THOSE ILLEGAL ALIENS FROM YOUR DESK. I KNOW YOU WORK AT ICE HQ, TOO.
IF YOUR NAME IS KATHERINE, WE CAN TRULY SEE THAT PILLOW TALK IS, INDEED, THE MOST EFFECTIVE FORM OF SPEECH, ESPECIALLY WHEN A CUSHY, WELL-PAYING ICE JOB FOR WHICH YOU AIN’T QUALIFIED GOES ALONG WITH IT.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Agent Orange on July 12, 2006 at 10:49 pm

I used to work in the Government and this does not suprise me at all. You have just hit the tip of the iceberg. Government employees feel entitled to live off the taxpayers and could care less what we think.
The agency cars, the free gas fill ups,free cellphones, the overtime they make because the supervisors are too stupid to fill out a simple scedule and do not forget about the old golf and lunch when they are supposed to be working.
I could go on and on how the Government wastes money,they have it down to a science. The worst offenders are the administrators that feel they are the “elite” and are above the law because of their Political Connections. They actually believe they have the right to steal if they are clever enough to hide it in an expense voucher.
I resigned out of disgust from my Government LE job years ago. They are sometimes worst than the criminals they are supposed to be protecting us from. The good people always end up quiting or are shown the door because they are not “Team Players”.
The problem is so out of control, I frankly do not think it can be fixed.

ScottyDog on July 13, 2006 at 7:18 pm

It is important to note that if our government employees had to fund these meetings by themselves (i.e. out of their own pockets) how many of these conference / expos would there be? Zero zip nada but as long as we, the citizen the American taxpayer without a choice are paying for it, the hotels and bars are booked all year long and some two to three years out by all sorts of governmental agency scheduled parties, uh uhm, I mean business discussions concerning crucial criteria pertaining to the solutions at hand.
(by the way, it is all a waste of time and money, don’t they understand that you must first consult a Federal Judge before the will of the American people can do anything?)
…thanks again, DR (illegals choose to break the law and must be held accountable then deported, meeting adjourned, that didn’t cost much did it)

...DR on July 14, 2006 at 8:04 am

DR
Sounds like you are still working for the Government.You know damn well the individuals going there would never pop for a 4 star hotel or eat a $50.00 steak on their salaries.
I like the part about having to consult with a Judge first.Your forgot to add that you have to take diversity training before you can “interact” with the public.
LOL

ScottyDog on July 14, 2006 at 8:48 am

Article V, Section III from the Pussy-Liberal Handbook – “If you restate a lie over and over and over, it will eventually become the truth…so never stop re-stating the lie”. I swear they must have an easy-to-read hand book like “Pussy-Liberalism for Idiots”, because they sure do stay on the same page. You have to give the Left credit for the quality and consistency of their lies. Unmatched in human history. “Liberalism, where everything is made up and the truth don’t matter! That’s right, the truth is like facts to Al Franken…it doesn’t matter”. Liberals can’t handle the truth Debbie…and that’s why they hate people like you who actually SPEAKS (okay, writes…) the truth. The truth is to a liberal is like a crucifix to a vampire. Come to think of it, liberals and vampires have quite a bit in common…including the “got no soul” part…and I don’t mean in the Blues sense. That’s right! It’s only my “opinion”, but I say liberals hate America…our America…they want a socialist America that acts like France and puppies-up to “a world government” like the U.N. The U.N.?…what a worthless, corrupt bunch of crap! We need to push that diseased organization off our shores and quit wasting our money with them. They haven’t done one thing on their own for this world. What have THEY done about Darfur? Somalia? Afghanistan? North Korea? A seemingly endless list but the answer is always short and the same. Nothing. That’s what the U.N. does and that’s what liberals want to make America a purse-dog of. Over my dead body…

Ziggy Spaz on July 14, 2006 at 10:54 am

I have a good friend at ICE and he chases and catches child pornographers: he is very good at what he does. Will he rise much higher not likely, because he is just a retired Navy CPO.
What we are really seeing here is a lack or core competence in any field. I have found that in most places people place undo credence in their helpers because they are too lazy to learn their own job. I think that is what has happened here.
The problem is that we left too many people in place after 911, who should have had the decency to leave: Oliver Cromwell said it better than I

taffy on July 14, 2006 at 3:45 pm

Let the government have access to your checkbook and they will write themselves a blank check.
Taffy,
You got it right. W should have dismissed all those Clinton and Carter holdovers. Those people do not have America’s interests at heart.
Ziggy is also right; libs want a soviet socialist America, or a completely Finlandized form of France.
As Ronald Reagan so well put it, “Government is not the solution to the problem, the government IS THE PROBLEM!

Loser on July 14, 2006 at 8:50 pm

leticia olalia morales of 15501 pasadena ave #8 tustin ca 92780 submitted fake documents and paid a consul 5000.00 dollars to obtain a US tourist visa. she is now applying for citizenship.

anonymous on February 23, 2011 at 6:46 am

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