August 1, 2005, - 9:27 am

Lance Armstrong, the New Anti-War Muhammad Ali

By Debbie Schlussel
As I always say, pillow talk is the most effective form of political speech. Since he’s been sleeping with Sheryl “F— Bush and Screw America” Crow, the lobbying of Tour de France champion cyclist Lance Armstrong has come to a head–in his disturbing new views on the terrorism war.
Recently, John Kerry hinted that Armstrong would make a great candidate for office, and–he feared–a Republican candidate. But while President Bush likes Lance (appointed him to commissions on cancer and fitness), keep Armstrong far away from politics–and the GOP.
Unfortunately, the anti-War on Terror Armstrong is vying to become this generation’s Muhammad Ali. Another egotistical athlete who thinks that since his body is at peak performance, his misguided mind is in equal shape. He’s WRONGLY claiming that Americans are more worried about cancer than terrorist attacks, and that less dollars should go for national security, in favor of cancer funding. Funny, I didn’t hear him complaining about those millions in tax-money the U.S. Postal Service wasted to sponsor him until recently. THAT’s the money that should have gone to cancer research, Lance.
Armstrong told both Time and USA Today, “Funding for cancer research is tough to come by these days. The biggest downside to a war in Iraq is what you could do with all that money. What does a war in Iraq cost a week ? A billion ? Maybe a billion a day ?…. The budget for the National Cancer Institute is four billion. That has to change. It needs to become a priority again. Polls say people are much more afraid of cancer than of a plane flying into their house or a bomb or any other form of terrorism. It is a priority for the American public.”
Pitting those fighting cancer against fighting terrorism is just plain wrong. Plenty of money (and resulting waste) has been spent on both.
I have many family members who’ve died of cancer, but Armstrong’s assertion is absurd. We spend plenty on cancer research (to the detriment of research on other deadly maladies), but ANYONE can be struck by terrorism at anytime. 9/11 and the attacks on Britain were lost on Armstrong, apparently.
If John Kerry wants Lance Armstrong for the Democratic party, he can have him.

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6 Responses

Not…quite-or Jane Fonda either. Ali said”I ain’t got nuthin’ against them Viet Cong.” And if
he’d gone into the military-all he’d have done is
exhibitions. I don’t follow bike racing-but I
think Armstrong is just wrong;it’s not possible to overrate him to the extent Ali has been.Armstrong,I don’t think would say,”I ain’t got nuthin’ against these mass-murderin’ towelheads…”

jaywilton on August 1, 2005 at 12:19 pm

Great story to survive cancer, but from things I’ve read he is a real jerk in everything else besides riding a bike. After all, he left a wife who stood by him while battling cancer, not to mention 3 young kids…no wonder Kerry and the lefties are embracing him.
At least the Frenchies will finally embrace him, now. Kind of funny how he didn’t mention his lefty views while his racing career was ongoing….coincidence?

Jeff_W on August 1, 2005 at 1:35 pm

Yeah Jeff, that’s exactly why “Kerry and the lefties are embracing him.” You’re acting like getting a divorce is something only “lefties” do.

Clompo on August 1, 2005 at 1:48 pm

I think more Americans are worried about cancer than about another terrorist attack. But that’s the problem, too much complacency which leads to a lot of the things you note in your articles (i.e. “Abu Moskowitz”, etc.).
Although I’m a fan of Sheryl Crow’s music, I do think she was quite a homewrecker. From what I heard, Lance left his wife and kids basically because he couldn’t handle being famous and away and having a family at the same time, maybe he should’ve waited until after his 7 titles to get married and have kids, it’s not like he has a biological ticking time bomb! Somehow I don’t think him and Crow will last either.

hairymon on August 1, 2005 at 6:34 pm

From the USA Today story link, “Today he’ll take girlfriend Sheryl Crow and his three children 5-year-old Luke and 3-year-old twins Grace and Isabelle to the south of France for some rest and relaxation.”
Great example to provide 3 small kids, openly tramping around with that washed up floozy Sheryl Buzzard. Just what politics needs, yet another guy who puts his own needs above his family…some kind of hero…NOT!
Lance, how about making it a permanent vacation in France?

The_Man on August 1, 2005 at 11:49 pm

You’re catching on, Clomp.
I don’t think any political party has a corner on morality, and I am aware of guys with shady backgrounds like Schwarzennegger, Ted Nugent, Newt Gingrich and others and I despise their behavior no matter which side of the aisle they are on.
But, I do think there is a gap getting wider all the time between the left’s (mainly Democrat’s) values and what they stand for and the normal, mainstream American’s values. Actually, you are aware of that, too, and your attempt to be disingenuous is transparent.

Jeff_W on August 2, 2005 at 9:00 am

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