May 14, 2010, - 8:18 pm
Ironically, the two new movies I expected to like least, were the relative best of the bunch. I stress the word “relative.”
* “Letters to Juliet“: For some reason I was excluded from two screenings of this movie. But it’s just as well because critics I respect all said it stank. And, more importantly, because I will NEVER recommend anything starring Vanessa “Zionist Hoodlums” Redgrave, Jew-hater and best friend/complete slut to Islamic terrorists, no matter the decade. In the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s, she funded a PLO “documentary” and danced with PLO terrorists and their guns, stating,
Zionism is a brutal, racist ideology. And it is a brutal racist regime.
In the ’00s, she paid Al-Qaeda terrorist Jamil El-Banna’s bail money and attorneys fees, likening his and other terrorists’ stay in Guantanamo Bay to the Holocaust and reading their “poetry” at an appearance. The wrong Redgrave–her decent, pro-Israel sister Lynn–died, last week. And whether or not I can tell you much about the movie, the video above is the only commentary you need to see on the subject (especially the second half smackdown by the late great Paddy Chayefsky).
I was especially disgusted, this morning, when I watched the hags of ABC’s “The View,” including and especially dimwit fake “conservative” Elisabeth Hasselbeck, all fawning all over this live piece of crap. When she’s finally worm food, this utter bitch, Vanessa Redgrave, will rot in hell. Until then, don’t give a dime to her movies, including this one. You never know to which Al-Qaeda terrorist your movie dollars in her bank account will go. And why reward filmmakers who have no hesitation to cast this crusty scumbagette?
Anyway, if you must go to a chick flick this weekend (especially if you are being dragged by your wife or girlfriend), see “Just Wright” (review below) instead.
FOUR YASSER ARAFATS PLUS A BIN LADEN
* “Robin Hood“: I really, really wanted to like this movie and thought I was going to. I like the conventional story of Robin Hood and the actor who plays him here, Russell Crowe. Sadly, Crowe didn’t get a good script. It wasn’t tight, it rambled, and it just wasn’t the story of Robin Hood. It was someone’s “new way to do it” imposed on Robin Hood, the way filmmakers re-invented “Sherlock Holmes,” at the end of 2009. If it ain’t broke . . . .
This was soooo long and boring, I fell asleep and missed nothing. For so much swashbuckling, fighting, horses, knights, and killing, I should have liked it. But it was slow moving. And, like I said, it wasn’t Robin Hood. It was some other character with the same name.
And, of course, they insert the typical Hollywood sympathy for Islam. At the beginning of the movie, soldiers, including Crowe’s Robin Longstride (Robin Hood’s real name), are returning from the crusades which they fought for Richard the Lionheart. Robin Hood makes a ridiculous speech about how a Muslim woman felt sorry for them even though the Muslims were about to be slaughtered, because the English were the truly fallen in the situation. Whatever. Never thought Robin Hood would be the seat of Muslim propaganda. But with Hollywood, these days, everything is.
And then there’s the dumb feminism. In this flick, Maid Marian is no longer “Maid,” but simply Marion Loxley (Cate Blanchett, who is beautiful here as a brunette). And she’s a sword-bearing she-warrior. Really? That really happened back in the age of Robin Hood? Only if Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan wrote the script. Come on. Revisionism in fairy tales and legends is stooopid. Especially in male action flicks from medieval times.
It could have been worse. But at nearly 2.5 hours, it seemed like 3.5 hours or longer. Tighten it up, Hollywood. I can’t really tell you the story, because there wasn’t much of one. It wandered from scenes of spoiled and tyrannical English Crown Prince (later, King) John, Robin Hood getting jewels with his partners in crime who were bringing back the crown through France (as they return from the Crusades), and scenes of him in a small hamlet (Nottingham) owned by the Lord whose son he impersonates (and who was married to Marion). Then, there are battles to defend the obnoxious English Prince against French Norman invaders. It was confusing and kind of a mess. But who cares? I didn’t. The movie really didn’t give us that much of a reason to care. And the real story of the movie doesn’t really begin until half way through. It was no Braveheart. More like Braveheart lite lite lite extra-lite.
If you were expecting a great epic film, you’ll be disappointed. I really set my expectations low so I wouldn’t be disappointed. But I was anyway. Not that it was objectionable or really bad. It just wasn’t great or even very good. Just eh mixed with many yawns. Somewhat disappointing. But I did like his chainmail tunic and leather pants, very cool fashions both.
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Just Wright“: Oddly, this movie I thought I’d hate wasn’t bad. Even though it’s a chick flick, it’s entertaining, fun, and has a lot of sports in it, so it’s bearable and even interesting for men who get dragged to the theater. And two actors I normally dislike–Queen Latifah and Common–were also not bad. There were scenes I found wholly uncomfortable, like one with a zaftig, bare-shouldered Latifah writhing around a bed. But other than that, I found this movie mildly charming, even if the ending was expected and not believable.
A heavy-set, less attractive physical therapist (Latifah) is a big basketball fan and meets an NBA star (Common), who begins a flirtation with her. But once he meets her gorgeous, shallow, phony friend (very well played by Paula Patton), he only has eyes for the hot chick and throws Latifah to the side. But a potentially career-ending knee injury changes everything, and the player begins to see each woman for whom she really is. Or does he?
Most movies with a sports theme stink. But this one was okay. Even though all of the major stars and co-stars in this movie are Black, it really wasn’t a Black movie. It’s a story that spans the races and that you’ve seen a million times before–the proverbial “beauty is just skin-deep.” But it was decent entertainment. Fast-paced, enjoyable, and escapist. Not a “great” movie. But good enough.
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Exit Through the Gift Shop“: Even though this movie was about mostly illegal activity–“street art,” which is a euphemism for more attractive graffiti and vandalism–I still found it cool and entertaining. Almost everyone in it is a hypocritical lefty who thinks he is a counter-culture critic, but ends up making big bucks through conventional, commercial art shows and sales. Yup, they all become the capitalists they claim they’re railing against. And it’s a lot of cool eye candy.
Banksy is a “street artist” in Great Britain. Thierry Guetta is a French emigre to the U.S. who owns a hip Los Angeles used clothing store and takes an interest in him and other street artists. Guetta films Banksy doing his graffiti and vandalism, er . . . “street art,” all over the world. But when he tries to make a film out of it, it’s not a good one. So, Banksy orders Guetta to go home and make his own art. Soon, though, Guetta is mass-producing pop art and putting on a big commercial show of Andy Warhol style cool stuff. It disgusts Banksy, even though he’s done the same. And they all clean up with lots of money, while dissing each others’ hypocrisy and crass commercialism.
Like I said, even though it’s illegal and I don’t applaud it–and I didn’t need to see that little dig at Israel’s fence to keep out Islamic terrorists–I still found the movie extremely entertaining and enjoyable. Not to mention, a very illuminating expose on the stark hypocrisy of the counterculture anarchist types that we all know exists in spades. They may not wear pinstriped suits, but they’re laughing all the way to the bank.
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: Andy Warhol, Art, Banksy, Cate Blanchett, Common, Documentary, Exit Through Gift Shop, Exit Through the Gift Shop, graffiti, Just Wright, Letters to Juliet, Maid Marian, Marion loxley, Movie Reviews, NBA, Paula Patton, Queen Latifah, Robin Hood, Russell Crowe, she-warrior, street art, Thierry Guetta, vandalism, Vanessa Redgrave