September 25, 2006, - 10:44 am

Meet Beirut for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (& Hezbos): Stray Pets May be Smuggling Devices to U.S.

By Debbie Schlussel
You’ve heard of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals–PETA (or as we prefer to more accurately describe the group, People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans–PUTAh).
Now meet, Beirut for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (BETA), PETA’s Lebanese contingent–headquartered cozily in Hezbollah-controlled Southern Lebanon (we guess they forgot the real location of Beirut, which is not in the South). Given the imprecise appellation, we’re not exactly sure if this group is dedicated to the welfare of Hezbollah members or four-legged furry beings. After all, both fit the definition of animal. But we note that BETA is more concerned with animals than it is the victims of Hezbollah in their own country (Lebanon) and in Israel.
Because we don’t have enough stray animals in America, nor enough Hezbollah-supporting “Americans” who were paroled into the country, this summer, and now roam free with no oversight from ICE (Immigration & Customs Enforcement) and CIS (Citizenship & Immigration Services), we now have to add Lebanon’s stray pets to our nation, thanks to BETA.

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In an AP story, Monica Khoury, co-founder of BETA, announced that thousands of abandoned pets from Lebanon will be flown on a private United Arab Emirates cargo plane to Las Vegas, today. Since we know that Islamic terrorists will stop at nothing to smuggle things into the U.S. and to blow up things, what is to stop Hezbollah supporters from smuggling various items, including explosives, inside the body cavities of cats and dogs?
We also note these interesting items from the AP article:
* the animals were originally being housed in an animal shelter right next to a Hezbollah stronghold.
* there is plenty of opportunity for smuggling things in and out of the cargo plane:

There will be two refueling stops–one in Manchester, England, and another at New York’s JFK Airport–before arriving in Las Vegas, where the orphaned pets will be put on Best Friends trucks for the 3.5-hour ride to temporary housing at the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, southern Utah.

To sum up:
* Animals in Beirut more important than human victims of Hezbollah.
* Animals–and who knows what else?–being flown to U.S. on cargo planes (which we know are rarely checked), with several convenient “re-fueling” stops.

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6 Responses

Of course animals are more important than the Hezbollah-loving/tolerating Lebanese.
WELL, YES. BUT I DOUBT THAT’S BETA’S VIEW. THEIR VIEW IS THAT ANIMALS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HEZBOLLAH’S VICTIMS. THAT WAS MY POINT (OR ONE OF THEM).
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

LoveAManInAUniform on September 25, 2006 at 3:28 pm

We have enough stray dogs and cats in America and now we get the Lebanese animals? Aside from the security (lack of) issues in this matter, what about public health? Have these animals been tested for diseases and have they been vaccinated for anything? This could get uglier than fresh spinach.

jennifernicole on September 25, 2006 at 4:12 pm

WHAT?!! Are we insane?!!! What the f*** are we doing importing animals from the Mid-East?!!! Who in their right mind is going to adopt animals that are fully-grown, cannot understand any commands in English, may have all kinds of “problems”/bad habits? How many pets from the Katrina rescue did they have to euthanize?
The UAE should, instead, ship them to southeast Asia where they are considered delicacies (I’m not trying to be funny, but that’s what southeast Asians eat. Let’s be honest). They could also ship them to Iran for target practice (hey, Muzlumz use the infidel for target practice, so why not animals?) Better yet, leave them where they are for Hezbollah to use as target practice.

Thee_Bruno on September 25, 2006 at 5:46 pm

why are lebanese not controling there pet population like we do in america maybe they can also preach birth control to hezbollah and we can also sent bob barker over there to solve the pet population ” have your pet fixed”

PNAMARBLE on September 25, 2006 at 6:51 pm

(Overheard in the freight terminal at a major American airport)
TSA Inspector Tweety Bird:
I tawt I taw a tewwowist…. I TID! I TID!! I TID TEE A TEWWOWIST!!!

Jeremiah on September 25, 2006 at 8:20 pm

BETA=Beating, Electrocuting and Torturing Animals. Weren’t they the ones who used chem warfare on cats and dogs to see if the right chemical compound was created? Or
BETA=Better Eating Through Allah. Oh and Fuck Allah.

KOAJaps on September 26, 2006 at 4:17 pm

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