October 1, 2006, - 3:52 pm

HOprah Watch: The Vagina Homeland Security Monologues

By Debbie Schlussel
You’ll rarely see the V-word here. Because it reminds us too much of that awful feminist play, “The Vagina Monologues,” by bizarro feminist (redundant) Eve Ensler.
But we just couldn’t resist this: Ensler is now a self-style Vagina Homeland Security expert, and she’s written an absurd new book about her own unique take on Homeland Security and terrorism–ie., that we shouldn’t pursue security against terrorists because “we are dividing the world into ‘us’ and ‘them'”–like Bin Laden and 19 hijackers didn’t do that. She feels sorry for the Muslim extremist women and compares “their” terror with the “terrorism” of her childhood and violent father.
Puh-leeze. Somebody make a law that if your passport has too many stamps from Psychobabble-onia, you can’t come back to the States.

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Eve Ensler (center) with Feminist Actresses Jane Fonda, Salma Hayek

Predictably, HOprah’s October 2006 issue of “O” Magazine has Ensler’s ludicrous “book,” “Insecure at Last: Losing it in Our Secuirty Obsessed World,” on it’s reading list, the “O Reading Room.” Here’s an excerpt from Oprah’s dumb mag:

Playwright Eve Ensler worries that our current obsession with security is undermining our humanity. In our fear, we abandon empathy and destroy community, dividing the world into “us” and them”; in spuruit of security, we become more insecure. Ensler has been traveling the glove, listening to the stories of women for whom the illusion of safety has been shattered forever: the displaced mothers of Kosovo [DS: extremist Muslims now infested by Al-Qaeda, who drove out most Christians; hardly displaced; what about the displaced Serbian mothers who used to live in what is now "Kosovo"?] . . . . She also travels inward to the terror of her own childhood and the deals she made with her violent father–a fasle sense of security in exchange for her soul. In [the book], Ensler convinces us that the serenity we week has always resided in our stories and in our bodies and we find joy by giving what we need the most. This brave, articulate, chilling, and inspiring howl for change might be the most important book you read all year.

Somehow, we doubt that. Homeland Security and Counterterrorism from the inner-child of the Vagina Monologues–odds are against that working to keep anyone safe, not even the mind-addled Oprah cult members. As for dividing “us” and “them,” why doesn’t she try to show “The Vagina Monologues” to one of her beloved Islamist countries? Then she’ll really see the division of “us” and “them,” and we’ll see a semi-legit reason for “why they hate us.”

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18 Responses

I’ve never seen he Vagina show but in all honesty, I couldn’t care less and the only vagina I want to see is Salma’s. I bet the other broads are shut

KOAJaps on October 1, 2006 at 4:40 pm

From the militant poses of those “V” signs, I’d say it’s the postmodern feminist version of the universal gesture of contempt.
“V” was and is for victory. Not for v*g*n* or vendetta or peace or “Palestine”, etc:
http://jeremayakovka.typepad.com/jeremayakovka/2006/05/i_for_islamofas.html

Jeremiah on October 1, 2006 at 6:35 pm

who would go see such trash, anything with crazy jane in it, i rather watch debbie’s tigers get there asses whipped by a double a kansas city royals what a CHOKE!!! i wish everyone to boycott this monologues and watch artie langes yankees sweep the hopeless tigers this week.

PNAMARBLE on October 1, 2006 at 7:16 pm

Hey Ensler, the dick speaks…
why didn’t you worry about this, ya dumb Dhimmied broad… Go wear a burqua why doncha!
“Playwright Eve Ensler worries that the Muslims’ current obsession with murdering Jews, Christians and Infidels is undermining their humanity. In their fear, they have abandoned empathy and destroy community, dividing the world into “them” and us”; in pursuit of Islam, they become more insecure. Ensler has been traveling Israel, listening to the stories of Jewish women for whom the illusion of safety has been shattered forever…”

Jack Bauer on October 2, 2006 at 8:37 am

Gotta love it! The “Bitches of Eastwick” on LSD. The only thing wrong with the photo is that the “V” signs belong over their mouths because that’s what they’re really up to. HOprah, once again, chimes in with her sisterhood BS touting this book as intelligent, insightful reading. Maybe if you suffer from rectal-cranial inversion but not for those of us who have a true grasp on reality.
As for Ensler’s “terror of her own childhood”, who gives a damn? Gee, was she called names, didn’t get to play spin-the-bottle? Only her shrink knows and it’s better left unknown. She’s just another spiteful, vindictive wench who’s still pissed that nobody wanted to bang her because she’s a delusional pain in the ass.

Gunny on October 2, 2006 at 9:36 am

Debbie, the picture you posted of Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda, & Salma Hayek ought to be captioned with the title; The Three StoogettesÖbut wait, donít do that as it would be a grave insult to Moe, Larry, & Curly. Those three guys were great, and had talent, while Ensler, Fonda, & Hayek are just freaks. Isnít it amazing how there are so many smart & talented women in the world who never seem to get the recognition they deserve, and yet dunces like Ensler, Fonda, & Hayek are glorified for acting like slutty trash?

Rocky on October 2, 2006 at 10:35 am

She sounds like Stuart Smalley when he was comparing the Iraqis suffering under Saddam’s rule to his situation when he was living with a rageaholic.

GEB4000 on October 2, 2006 at 11:08 am

Personally I love it when Liberal airheads run their mouth’s & confirm how stupid & uninformed they truly are.What’s that olde saying about it’s better to keep your mouth shut & be thought a FOOL, than speak and…
If the 3 Stoogettes were capable of understanding what the West is facing with the Islamists I’d compel them to watch the new movie “Obsession” on a continuous loop & MAYBE by the 100th play a portion might even take root,but they’re so dense most likely not.

billybob on October 2, 2006 at 1:00 pm

This Ensler moonbat is neck and neck with Barbra Streisand in competing for the Susan Sarandon Dippity Dipshit Award. Geez.
(Please, Debbie, tell me she’s not a MOT? That name sounds suspicious.)
Oy vey.

AmericanJewess on October 2, 2006 at 2:57 pm

If I couild quote Curly Howard:
I resemble that remark

KOAJaps on October 2, 2006 at 7:43 pm

No, not my darling Salma.

The_Man on October 2, 2006 at 10:05 pm

Hi Debbie, Hope your holiday was good. Geez, I am really disappointed in Salma Hayek. The other two nitwits, though, do not surprise me. Ms. Ensler is another in a long line of whiners who, when the reall trouble comes to this country, will be one of the first to go. The other one, I won’t mention her name, because she is a traitor to our country who aids and abets the enemy. Hanoi Jane, what a loser. I question the patriotism and sanity of any who would follow these trollops!

FreeAmerican on October 3, 2006 at 8:55 am

You know it is funny. All of you here promote free speech and say that difference we have and the freedom to express these differences make America great but whenever some one does it, you guys get in to hate speech and personal attack

thirdgoat on October 3, 2006 at 12:01 pm

thirdgoat,
True, this site’s forums often get rowdy. I won’t apologize for my “feminist universal gesture of contempt” comment, but will try to explain it further, or why I felt no qualms about saying it.
Look at her book title. What does could the concept of losing virginity (i.e., “losing it”) possibly have to do with criticizing and improving national security? Are we supposed to understand the 9/11 attacks as some sort of “phallic penetration” of the “untouched American heartland”? Such linguistic wordplay (which she might call “foreplay” or “four-jetliners-play” or “9/11-play” and on and on…) is a manipulation of an ideological, a priori contempt for men — not to get over hating men, but to keep on doing so (and to keep making money at it, and being a media star) indefinitely.
Ensler’s choice of words invites all manner of comparisons and innuendos which run the gamut of shaky to flaky to skanky. It’s an example of free speech that is also irresponsible speech. You may disagree but when our country is at war to protect, among other things, free speech, I feel a duty to spell out when I think that very speech harms the war effort (or to take a cue from a pro like Debbie, and to step up to the plate when she spells it out).
Remember Lenny Bruce, to whom we all owe our right to provoke with lewd language or references. He never pretended to be a champion of “social justice” for women or for anyone. His wife was a stripper, for crying out loud!

Jeremiah on October 3, 2006 at 12:37 pm

Thirdgoat, I hope you are 12 years old and have an excuse for your inanity. You clearly do not understand the difference between suppressing free speech and engaging in free speech, but I will try to explain it to you. Here’s the difference: None of us here are planning to behead Ensler because she says things we don’t like. (We are not Muslim, after all.) We support her right to say what she wants, and IN TURN, we have the right to say what we want about what she said. That’s “free speech,” get it? In this case, it is a back-and-forth kind of thing — she speaks, we speak. And by the way, just because someone, like Ensler, has “spoken freely,” does not mean that we are obliged to respect or agree with her stupid utterances. Just because she happens to be exercising a right that we all hold dear does not automatically give her protection from our criticism.
I suspect you are Muslim. As such, you have a lot to learn about free speech. At present, it appears to be beyond your conceptual grasp.

AmericanJewess on October 3, 2006 at 4:06 pm

AmericanJewess,
Amen…,Princess !

billybob on October 4, 2006 at 9:47 am

ksastria is vasya sudra braman, groove on crazy people the empire is crumbling. news week sux ass, nation magagazine be damned.pro native forever , earth first

nunyuz on September 19, 2010 at 12:25 am

I think of all the blogs and comment I have ever read this piece of shit shows the true ignorance of Americans and I can honestly say that I am ashamed to be apart of a country that thinks this way. First off Debbie your blog is just ridiculous is all I can say. Your narrow-minded thinking is exactly why other countries can’t stand us. Usually I am all for peoples opinions and that they have a right to think what they want, but this blatant disrespect for a cause that is about protecting women like YOU Debbie is unbelievable. I have a lot more to say and would say it but I no longer wish to waste my time on this “dumb” website. Oh, yeah, and to you KOAJaps, whoever you are I hope that you will one day see the light and if your a man I pray that you won’t ever have to see a posting like that comment about you daughter same if your a female. And now I am done

Someone who is sick of this shit! on September 27, 2010 at 3:06 pm

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