October 6, 2006, - 11:35 am
By Debbie Schlussel
Remember Whoopi Goldberg, the actress/unfunny comedienne, who performed an extended “monologue” about President Bush and female pubic hair at a 2004 Kerry-Edwards Democratic fundraiser?
Well, now, Ms. Thang’s taken a distinctive new tack . . . as your child’s etiquette teacher. The crass Goldberg has a new book out for kids, “Whoopi’s Big Book of Manners.”
Goldberg was on ABC’s hag-fest, “The View,” today, pimping the book. And not a single one of the hags–including airhead, so-called conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck–mentioned that it’s just a tad hypocritical for this unclassy shrew to be teaching anyone–especially impressionable young kids–manners . . . or anything else.
To refresh your memory, here are some excerpts what Goldberg said at the 2004 DNC fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall. The new “Miss Manners”? Hardly:
Being President is like being in a horror movie, the hair turns white overnight.
You have to meet the King and Queen of Kupeepee and you know you’re going to look dumb if you don’t know where Kupeepee is because everybody else pretends they know where it is. And when you get the menu for the State Dinner, you know that you have bears balls and frog lips as a delicacy and you cannot say, “Hell No!” . . .
And that’s why I’m here tonight. Because I love bush. But someone’s giving bush a bad name. Someone has tarnished name of bush. Someone has waged war, someone has deliberately misled the country, someone has attempted to amend the constitution, all in the name of bush. The bush I know and cherish would never do such things. My bush is smarter than that. And if my bush is smarter than that, you can understand just how dumb I think that other bush is. And anyone who would wave to Stevie Wonder is not fully there. I will do whatever it takes to restore bush to its rightful place and that ain’t in the White House. Vote your heart and mind and keep bush where it belongs.
Even Slimfast–founded by far leftist S. Daniel Abraham–dumped Goldberg over her extraordinary “manners“:
The manner in which Ms Goldberg chose to express her personal beliefs at this event do not reflect the views and values of Slim-Fast Foods Company. We are disappointed by the manner in which Ms Goldberg chose to express herself and sincerely regret that her recent remarks offended you. Advertisements featuring Ms Goldberg will no longer be on air.
Whoopi Goldberg teaching kids manners is like Rosie O’Donnell teaching kids dieting and heterosexuality. But it might actually mark the first time the so-called comedienne actually did something funny.
The book might make a good gag gift . . . once it’s reached the remainder table at the bookstore. It’s her biggest joke yet.
A better title for the book:
Do as I Write, Not as I Do.
Tags: ABC, actress, Bush, Debbie Schlussel Remember Whoopi Goldberg, DNC fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, etiquette teacher, fundraiser, Kerry-Edwards Democratic, King and Queen, President, Radio City, Radio City Music Hall, Rosie O'Donnell, S. Daniel Abraham, Slim-Fast Foods Company, Stevie Wonder, Thang, The View, White House, Whoopi Goldberg