August 21, 2005, - 1:34 pm

Dumbest Republican May Run for Prez

By Debbie Schlussel
The GOP’s biggest buffoon, former Health & Human Services (HHS) Secretary Tommy Thompson, says he is considering running for President. G-d save us from this blowhard.
Thompson believes he deserves to occupy 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue because, he claims, nobody else has been “as vocal on [healthcare] as I have.” Thompson’s healthcare “legacy” was a cockamamie CIPRO (medicine for chemical weapon exposure) distribution scheme, multiple people dying of anthrax poisoning with the culprit never discovered, no vaccine for anthrax (except that being produced EXCLUSIVELY by ONE MUSLIM-OWNED company in the entire U.S.), flu vaccines running out everywhere, soaring healthcare and medicine prices, and not much else.
As you’ll recall, this genius, Thompson, announced in his resignation from HHS that he doesn’t understand why the terrorists haven’t yet targeted our food supply (and sounded as if he was practically begging them to, so that he could fly in and fail, yet again, to save the day). During the debates with John Kerry, President Bush alluded to some Cabinet appointments he regretted making. Reportedly, Bush was alluding to Bono-groupie (and part-time Treasury Secretary) Paul O’Neill and Tommy Thompson.

tommythompson.jpg

Bush is thinking: “Why did I pick this idiot?”

Since he left HHS, the intellectually-challenged Thompson has consistently engaged in exploits of the idiotic. For instance, he joined the board of a microchip company and endorsed the implantation of microchips in humans. Talk about Big Brother. That’ll make you really healthy.
Thompson was Governor of Wisconsin when I was in grad school (University of Wisconsin Law School ’93; University of Wisconsin Business School ’95). His nephews were in some of my classes, and even they acknowledged what a dummy their uncle was. We overwhelmingly voted for “Hollywood Squares’” Charles Nelson Reilly over Thompson as our law school graduation speaker, and he was dead (we thought).
Maybe it’s no coincidence that Thompson hails from Elroy, Wisconsin. It seems fitting that this cartoonish figure comes from a town that shares its name with a Jetsons character. Unfortunately, he’s no cartoon. Fortunately, Tommy Thompson has as much chance of becoming President as the Unabomber.

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4 Responses

The anthrax attack was *Thompson’s* fault? And it was *Thompson’s* fault that a UK production plant contaminated all of its flu vaccine supply, resulting in 47 million doses suddenly off the market? Puhleeze. If you want the real reason for the shortage, look no further than the Clintons. The Clinton administration, largely at the exhortations of Hillary, made the government the #1 buyer of vaccines. The feds negotiated such a rock-bottom price that the number of producers dwindled to a handful. Now, any disruption to the supply chain is guaranteed to cause shortages.

John Jorsett on August 21, 2005 at 6:01 pm

The Democrats love RINOs like Thompson, Whitman and Linda Lingle, since they provide people with no real choices on election day, and carry their policy water at every opportunity.
Lingle is lucky, here in our clean Hawaiian air she can sniff out an political opportunity from across thousands of miles of ocean.
And that’s why Democrats get more upset than Republicans over the use of the term “RINO.”

Grant on August 21, 2005 at 7:21 pm

With all due respect, John, Tommy Thompson was in office for almost a year before any of these things happened. He did NOTHING in response, and continued to do NOTHING to address these situations in FOUR years on the job. I am the first to criticize the Clintons. But in this case, there is plenty of blame to spread around. And Thompson deserves a large share. To date, there remains ONE company, owned by a Muslim, that develops the anthrax vaccine. Why, in four years in office, did Thompson take zero steps to correct that problem–or any of the others? Answer: Because he is a useless, clueless blowhard. Yes, sometimes, even Republicans fit that bill, and Thompson is Exhibit A.

Debbie Schlussel on August 22, 2005 at 9:16 am

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