December 26, 2006, - 2:08 pm

If It Ain’t Broke . . .: This Time, It’s Betty & Veronica

By Debbie Schlussel
First, it was Bazooka Joe and gang. Then, it was Monopoly board game token/icon game pieces. Now, it’s Betty and Veronica that have undergone an unnecessary, ugly extreme makeover. Merry Christmas, America, from your friends at Archie Comic Publications, Inc. of Mamaroneck, New York.
Especially in the case of Betty & Veronica, Archie’s rival galpals, this remake made them plastic surgery victims (do comic book characters get anesthesia?), where before they looked pretty good and far more glam and classy. The new versions resemble Paris Hilton and her sister, Nicky. The inbred nose thing, too-long ostrich neck, and shleppy-ness isn’t attractive:


Compare that to the old versions:


Am I right? Or am I RIGHT?!
Ironically, this new change is supposed to make Betty and Veronica look more sophisticated. Huh? Someone needs Lasik.

“We are going after an older female audience who are ready to move on to read something else,” says Michael Silberkleit, Archie Comic’s chairman and co-publisher, and a son of one of the company’s founders. Current readers are predominantly girls between the ages of 7 and 14.

Speaking as an older female, who used to collect Betty and Veronica comic books, the older version of Betty and Veronica was far more appealing.
More evidence that sometimes–actually, a lot of the time–things AND people don’t need makeovers. Not everything can be “improved” merely by being changed. Our “Makeover Nation” often throws out the best in favor of the empty “newism.”

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7 Responses

Empty newism. Indeed. Now that Betty and Veronica have been given the stupid, spoiled slut look of the Hiltons, are we to expect more modern adult storylines too? Drunken arrests, scuzzy videos and the like? Dear God.

icanplainlysee on December 26, 2006 at 10:15 pm

On the UP side, mebbe little boys will now lower their expectations of feminine pulchritude.
That’s IT!
It’s a plot by emasculated men and their NOW Gang better halves to indoctrinate little boys to lowering their expectations, and, at the same time, let girls know that it’s okay to be ordinary!
See. All the years I’ve spent studying human behavior haven’t been wasted after all. 😉

Rocketman on December 27, 2006 at 8:42 am

Debbie-you are SO right on this. It’s depressing, why does every female have to be sexed up? I loved B&V, fun to read as a girl and harmless. Up next, Nancy Drew..or did they already ruin her too?

CarpeDiem on December 27, 2006 at 8:46 am

Ohhhhhhhhhhh …
The possibilities with Nancy Drew!
How about the new James Bond meets the new P¸ssy Galore?

Rocketman on December 27, 2006 at 1:26 pm

To tell the truth Debbie,I prefer the new versions.The old Betty and Veronica look like refugies from 1950s Bettie Page Illustrated.

Milford Swayne on December 28, 2006 at 11:39 am

We are only talking about changing Betty & Veronica in one story in one of our digest comics. All the other stories and comics will continue to have the classics Archie style. This story although longer will still retain all of the family values found in all Archie comics. When you see the story, you will be pleasantly surprised. If you would like we would be happy to send you a copy

Rik Offenberger on January 8, 2007 at 1:23 am

I grew up with these comics and still buy them! but i won’t buy the new ones with the uh “makeover”… eck eck eck! gross! pls change back and yes it’s the new coke!

R Willow on July 20, 2011 at 10:42 pm

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