August 25, 2005, - 4:38 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Michael Moore has joined the Pritikin Spa to lose weight. The problem is that weight loss programs at the $3,800 a week spa only target bodily fat, not fat occupying the cerebral cortex. Poor Michael Moore.
In related news, watch for “Flabbenheit 9/11,” Michael Moore’s new investigative movie about Pritikin’s ties to the Saudis, Bin Laden, the Carlyle Group, Bally’s, the candy industry, high fructose corn syrup, dentists, Britney Spears, FOX News Channel, and the tooth fairy. Learn how, together, they have conspired to make Americans like him fat, forcing them to spend big bucks to take it off.
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Tags: bin Laden, Britney Spears, Debbie Schlussel Michael Moore, Flabbenheit 9/11, Gaza, Kfar Darom, Michael Moore, Michael Moore Film, Micheal Moore Film, New Michael Moore "Film" Festival, News Channel, Pritikin Spa, USD