August 29, 2005, - 12:41 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
For someone who claims (and we all know he’s lying) that he’s against terrorism and opposes HAMAS, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas sure isn’t acting like it. In the first official acts following the Gaza giveaway, Abbas’ cabinet secretary general, Samir Huleileh, announced that the PA is discussing new names for the evacuated Jewish settlements and surrounding infrastructure.
Among the proposed names are Yasser Arafat, and HAMAS founder and spiritual leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin. In the past, Abbas–in his first act as then-Palestinian Prime Minister–named a town square in Ramallah, “Al Alinah Amani Square,” after a homicide bomber in Iraq who murdered American soldiers.
Other names used will be those of martyrs and important events and figures in “Palestinian history.”
Here are some other names I propose for the newly acquired areas of HAMASastan:
* 72 Dark-Eyed Virgins Strip Club (Concubine Rental Available; See Angelina Jolie for details)
* Uday & Qusay Memorial Bathhouse and Olympic Training Center
* Oprah Winfrey/Gloria Steinem/Christianne Amanpour Exploding the Glass Ceiling Institute for the Study and Advancement of Female Martyrs
* Glamour Shots Last Photo Studio for Martyrs, located next to the Hanan Ashrawi Beauty Salon and Plastic Surgery Center
* Darrell Issa School for Professional Car Thieves, Criminals, and Aspiring Congressmen
* Steven Spielberg Black September Olympic Stadium
* Ricky Martin & Angelina Jolie Useful Idiots Outhouse
* Abu Moskowitz/Imad Hamad ICE Double Agent Global Recruitment Center for Michigan Immigration & Customs Enforcement
* Michael Moore/Oliver Stone Evil Zionist Conspiracy Theory Movie House (Morgan Spurlock Supersized Islamist BS Theater available for overflow)
* Robert Mueller “No Such thing as Islamic Terrorism” Palestinian Law Enforcement Training center
* Peter Jennings School of Jihad Journalism (Gaza and Dearborn Detroit News Bureaus)
* Patrick Swayze “I Know Muslims b/c I Raise Arabian Horses” HAMAS Horse Farm and Love Center
* Fatah Fake Fatwas against Terrorism Forgery Clinic
* Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream (new flavors: Fatwa Chocolate Chip; Destroy America Double Fudge; Cindy Sheehan Saccharine Sweet “Israel out of Palestine” Sorbet; Throwing Rocks Rocky Road; High-Fat Explode Your Belt Vanilla; Multiple-Wives Rainbow Sherbet; Kill the Jews Crunch; Yasser Swiss Chocolate Bank Account; Pistachio Jihad; Concubine Cherry; Shaheed Allah Moose Tracks; Rafah Weapons Tunnels Rum Raisin; Karine A Karamel Kreme)
Additions welcome in the comments section . . . .
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