November 9, 2010, - 5:54 pm

What Do You Tell the Wife?: Giant Lottery Tix Win @ Porn Shop

By Debbie Schlussel

It’s about the only “positive” news in Detroit . . . and, in this case (and Detroit’s case), the word, “positive” is definitely relative.   Someone won $128.6 million, Saturday Night, in the Powerball lottery.  The winning ticket was purchased in Highland Park, a wholly surrounded suburb of and within Detroit.  It’s like a mini-Detroit in every way–decrepit, corrupt, deeply distressed.  The catch is that the ticket was purchased at the ironically-named “Uptown Bookstore,” which is anything but “uptown.”  It’s an “adult bookstore”–a porn shop.

Since the Saturday win, the winner hasn’t shown up to collect from the State of Michigan lottery offices (or wherever these things are collected upon).  And there is a lot of wonder and speculation in the Detroit media about why the winner hasn’t yet shown up.  A lot of people think he–and since it’s a Highland Park porn shop, it’s a safe assumption the winner is a “he”–is embarrassed to tell his wife, especially now that everyone knows where he bought the ticket.

I don’t buy it.

I don’t think the person is married, and if he is, I really don’t think his/her wife will care where the ticket was purchased, since the winnings are in the multi-millions.  Sad to say, many women are this way.  They care more about the size of a man’s wallet than anything else . . . like morals and, say, character.

Apparently, Powerball rules prohibit winners from staying anonymous, and we will always know this person as the Powerball porn winner.  But I really don’t think the person cares.  In today’s society, there is, sadly, no shame in it.  Heck, pseudo-conservative Sean Hannity featured porn star Kim Kardashian on his FOX News show and praised her as “having a good head on her shoulders.”  And he proudly posed for photos with hookers from the Bunny Ranch.

I just think the person who won is trying to figure out how to get out of Highland Park and get his affairs in order with financial people.  Trust me, you wouldn’t want to set foot in Highland Park as a millionaire or with a multi-million dollar winnning lottery ticket.  In fact, you wouldn’t want to set foot in Highland Park, period.  That place is scary, the worst ghetto crime environment you can imagine times a million.  We’re talking the killing fields of America’s bloodiest streets.  People from there just aren’t worried if anyone knows they visited a porn bookstore.  Not even the slightest bit worried.

So, what would you do?  If you are married, would you be embarrassed to tell your wife/significant other that you won several millions in the Powerball lottery from a visit to a porn shop?  Would she care, or would the money turn her eyes and ears to dollar signs?

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37 Responses

I have a feeling that the person is plotting his next move and arranging for a safe way to collect his winnings, assuming it is a he. It is doubtful that any prudishness would deter anyone from colleting such a prize. That might be the case with a $25 or $100 win, but not with a purse as big as this.

Worry01 on November 9, 2010 at 6:08 pm

I think your right worry1. I kind of feel bad for this guy as weird as that sounds, he’s gonna have a target on his back wherever he goes and he’s probably never had much money. I hope he or she doesn’t end up like that guy in florida who won a couple million, took people at their word and ended up broke and dead.

tyler on November 9, 2010 at 6:25 pm

The lucky winner is probably making sure his/her passport and other affairs are in order. I would be in a new Ferrari speeding out of Detroit so fast no one could get close enough to slit my throat. Oh by the way, What Wife?

Anthony on November 9, 2010 at 6:29 pm

IF he is married, he may be meeting with his divorce attorney so he can file for a separation that started last month so his proceeds become his sole and separate property, not subject to division for the Family Court.

I am such a cynic.

As goes on November 9, 2010 at 6:33 pm

Adult bookstores have struck me as being sleazy versions of the mainstream ones. I don’t think any married guy would patronize one and I can imagine that in that part of Detroit, collecting your winnings there, ironically enough, is a gamble.

We’ll see if the winner shows up there.

NormanF on November 9, 2010 at 7:10 pm

He can remain anonymous by creating a trust that owns the ticket. The lottery can only then report the name of the trust and not the owners.

arby on November 9, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Personally, if my husband won that much money–I wouldn’t care if he bought the ticket at a strip club! LOL!

Lee in IL on November 9, 2010 at 8:22 pm

I agree with you Lee in IL, if I was a married man and I bought a lottery ticket in a adult store, I hope it wouldn’t matter to my wife, and I’ll explain to her why I bought the ticket. Afterall, I’m not “holier-than-thou” with a halo hanging over my head, I’ve catch myself watching adult films in the past (I’m really not addicted to pornography, but I use moderation with it), it happens to all of us.

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on November 9, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Married? Probably not, but has lot’s of girfriends or maybe boyfriends and family that he needs to ditch. I’m bettin’ he wants to start over elsewhere without the baggage. I don’t think it’s a modesty issue. If it was, I think he’d have the sense enough to buy the ticket elewhere.
It would be pretty funny though if it turned out to be a minister, preist or rabbi…LOL!..just kidding ;)

…or Iman…ooooooooooo!

theShadow on November 9, 2010 at 8:45 pm

The Shadow, if it happens to be an imam who bought that ticket from that adult store, then it’ll be extremely surprising and shocking, afterall, isn’t adult films considered dirty to the radical islamofascist vermin? If it’s a pastor, priest or rabbi, then the left wing media will be all over this like flies on a dead carcass and acting like their holier-than-thou and better than everybody else!

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on November 9, 2010 at 8:52 pm

maybe it was osama bin laden and he is trying to figure out which wife he can trust to collect it. He has to be hiding somewhere, so either a cave in Pakistan or a porno store in Detroit.

ender on November 9, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Sean R., I was just being sarcastic in an ironic way, or is that ironic in a sarcastic way?
Sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke though, doesn’t it?

A Minister, Preist and Rabbi walk into a porn shop. The Preist turns to the Iman behind the counter and says…

theShadow on November 9, 2010 at 9:08 pm

That is classic.

Best article I have read all day.

Thank you Debbie for posting it.

Stephen on November 9, 2010 at 9:36 pm

To be fair, there is some detail missing from most media accounts of this story. The local NBC affiliate, Channel 4, did a live story from outside the bookstore. Here is some additional information.

1) There is a walkup window on the front of the store that sells lotto tickets. In fact they said that the winning ticket was sold from this window.

2) The store is on a major road, Woodward Avenue.

3) There is a bus stop right in front of the bookstore so there is a lot of traffic at that location.

During the story, they showed customers walking up to
the window to buy lotto tickets.

The story sounds more salacious than it really is. See the video here:

http://www.clickondetroit.com/video/25676769/index.html

But if the winner is a white suburban guy, he may have some ‘splainin’ to do.

michman on November 9, 2010 at 10:05 pm

I’ve always thought about something like this. Most people dream about how they’d spend their new-found millions, I plot how to keep in as quiet as possible. Fake address. Slightly misspelled name. Disguise at the award ceremony. Etc. As far as winning at the porno shop goes, I’d make sure that I went back and bought a little something, scented candles, a naughty maid’s outfit, fur handcuffs, and the like, and say, “Honey, I went to get a little something to spice up Friday night, and it’s between these body paints and 128 million dollars.”

gmartinz on November 10, 2010 at 12:23 am

I would be embarrassed if my wife knew I bought a lottery ticket. Never bought one and I am firmly against lotteries. It does get some taxes from the poor, but that is the only good I can see.

jimbo on November 10, 2010 at 1:20 am

Is the winner still among the living?

Is it possible that some of the seedier characters in the area confiscated the ticket, and his or her life, in order to collect?

Of course, if they took pains to prepare before claiming the ticket, they could actually be planning their orderly, quick escape from hell, never to return.

If they could afford it, tney can let someone else go in and get their belongings out of the house while they set up to have trucks bring in their newly purchased furniture and set it up in their new home.

If the porn shop is the only lottery ticket outlet in the area then I can understand them purchasing the ticket there. Also, to my knowledge, the shop has a ticket window accessible on the front wall of the shop, outside, so you don’t have to enter to purchase the ticket.

William on November 10, 2010 at 1:27 am

Too drunk to remember.

pat on November 10, 2010 at 1:41 am

This guy, and yes I am making that same assumption, should not be embarrassed. In fact, he should cash the ticket in and then buy the whole darn porn shop.

Sean R on November 10, 2010 at 5:39 am

Here are a couple things the guy could tell the wife:

1) “I stopped in the porn shop to buy a couple of items that I wanted to try with you, that sounded like fun.”

2) “Honey start packing, I hit the lottery today!” Her: “Where are we going”? HIM: “WE aren’t going anywhere, you’re getting the f____ out”!

RT on November 10, 2010 at 6:54 am

I go to strip clubs to learn new dance moves, not to lear at the women.

Truth on November 10, 2010 at 9:56 am

With that much money, you could BUY Detroit…..

Shootist on November 10, 2010 at 10:30 am

I believe there is a proceedure for maintianing anonymnity regarding lottery winnings. It would involve visiting your local banker and setting yourself up as a trust. Your trust agent could conceivably then redeem the ticket in behalf of said trust. It happened in Cincinnati last year. All we ever found out about the winner was that it was being handled by the Provident Bank Trust Department.

Kent on November 10, 2010 at 10:43 am

sorry about the extra “n”…should have proofread.

Kent on November 10, 2010 at 10:44 am

I tend to agree that the winner most likely bought the ticket from the walk-up window, and is now working on getting things in order…

as for “Sad to say, many women are this way. They care more about the size of a man’s wallet than anything else . . . like morals and, say, character.”

The big question that women never bring up is of course: WHY? Why is “adult entertainment” a multi-billion dollar worldwide industry? Why do so many many feel a need to have go to porn shops, strip clubs, hookers, or have affairs? Ahhh… women refuse to accept the reality and truth, and hence, continue to suffer their fates. The simple answer is: men get what they need wherever they can. If their needs aren’t met at home, they’re met elsewhere. Yes ladies, it really is that simple. You don’t want to give “your man” five minutes out of a day to acknowledge his chemically induced biological drive, fine- he’ll find some other way to deal with it. And it has absolutely NOTHING to do with “morals” or “character”.

PsychoCheese on November 10, 2010 at 11:14 am

LOL well I’m pretty sure this guy WON’T say “Honey, I only went there because I KNEW I was going to get lucky!” Hmmm this could be the premise of another lottery-related comedy. Box office gold!

Sean on November 10, 2010 at 11:21 am

It might simply be that the winner consulted an accountant who suggested waiting until after Dec 31st for tax year purposes.

MarySJ on November 10, 2010 at 11:38 am

How weird that this place even exists. I just assumed that thanks to the internet, “adult” book stores had gone the way of “adult” movie theaters…Unless of course, they sell other things in there besides books. I assume that the shop owner has computer records of transactions made by all individuals over the past year. If it turns out that in addition to the lottery ticket, this guy had also purchased something er…um…inflatable, we have the makings of what could have been the greatest idea for a Seinfeld episode ever, with a plot centered around Kramer.

Irving on November 10, 2010 at 11:39 am

The first thought that came to mind was that a Muslim from Dearborn probably won the money and has some explaining to do. Not to his wife of course, but this is Michigan after all, the sharia capital of the US.

Naomi Romm on November 10, 2010 at 6:06 pm

To The Shadow:
Two Irishmen were digging a ditch accross from a brothel, and one noticed a Rabbi walk into the place. One said to the other, “It’s a sad day when men of the cloth walk into a place like that.” After a little while, the other man saw a minister walk into the brothel. He stood up and said to his partner, “Did ya see that? It’s no wonder the children today are so confused with the example that the clery are settin’ for them.” After about another hour, the first man saw a Catholic preist walk in. He promptly stood up and proclaimed to his partner. “Aw that is truely sad. One of the poor lassies must be dyin’.”

Richard on November 10, 2010 at 10:17 pm

I’ll admit I googled for that joke. Do you folks know how many hits you get when you search on “priest rabbi jokes”?

Many.

Richard on November 10, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Are winners required to redeem their tickets at the place of puchase?

In WA state the big winners are directed go to the Lottery Office.

Sam Adams on November 11, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Ok, basically, if you don’t have any legit business in Highland Park, and you don’t live there, you really shouldn’t be going there for any reason. Especially after dark. DS was correct in her description. Doesn’t matter if this location was on a main road – has nothing to do with safety.

rickster on November 11, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Highland Park makes Detroit look like Club Med!
It’s so bad that even the Rats thought is was to ghetto, and Exodus of Rats & rodents took place over 30 years ago…

Who cares? on November 11, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Perhaps he is on parole for sex crimes and knows he will be returning to jail if they find out he was in that store?

rs on April 29, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Pseudo conservative Sean Hannity is for an all out capitalist economic system in which everything is for sale and purchasing,soul,morals,principles all out the window if the price is right,or at least that s what he has said on his annoying talk show… in that way prostitutes and porn actresses are enterpraneurs just making a buck or millions.

Juan on January 25, 2012 at 8:15 pm

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