January 24, 2007, - 11:17 am

“Strippers Changed My Life”: The Sleaze Whose Name is Brad Pitt

By Debbie Schlussel
You know Brad Pitt?
He’s the actor who is Mr. Angie Voight, who is constantly telling us how America doesn’t give enough to the poor, how Americans aren’t generous (even though they’re the most generous on earth), the guy who had a PBS show how Americans’ homes waste energy and aren’t “green” enough (while he lives in an energy wasting 11,000 square foot mansion and flies in private jets), how Americans are this and Americans are that.
Well, Mr. Proud High School Graduate, Father of Out-of-wedlock Kids, and purveyor of other important, fine moral lessons of America, tells us all, via Newsweek, where he learned these gems he’s imparted to America:
from strippers who “changed my life.”

bradpitt3.jpgstripclub.jpg

I had a job driving strippers around … . Yeah, my job was to drive them to bachelor parties and things. I’d pick them up, and at the gig I’d collect the money, play the bad Prince tapes and catch the girls’ clothes. It was not a wholesome atmosphere, and it got very depressing. [DS: Ya think?!] After two months I went in to quit, and the guy said, ‘Listen, I’ve got this one last gig tonight.’ So I did it, and this girl — I’d never met her before — was in an acting class taught by a man named Roy London [a famous acting coach]. I went and checked it out, and it really set me on the path to where I am now . . . . Strippers changed my life.

Yup, this is America’s self-anointed moral authority–the man whose life was changed by strippers. And I had the gall to call his sleazy girlfriend, “Skankelina,” when this guy is the Mayor of Skanksville (she’s the First Lady).
As I’ve written before, Brad Pitt rhymes with hypocrite.
Memo to the unwise: Don’t get your morals from the sleazebags of Hollywood. (The wise already knew that.)

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5 Responses

Brad Pitt may be telling Americans how to be green, but he certainly isn’t telling them how to lead a chaste lifestyle. If a stripper changed Pitt’s life for the better, then God bless both Pitt and the stripper.

Norman Blitzer on January 24, 2007 at 11:40 am

If we can stop allowing hollywood elites to tell us how to act, we’ll all be better off. America is so awed by entertainment stars, we so want to be just like them, we forget that THEY are not really even like them. Their “do as I say, not as I do” advice is worthless. If enough people publicly say “shut the hell up, Brad”, maybe he will. But he and those like him won’t if we don’t make them. Movie stars, like the government, are supposed to work for us. We make them famous. We make them rich. It shouldn’t take a celebrity totally wacking out Tom Cruise-style for us to start making them unsucessful. If enough of us will say “shut up and act” to these self-righteous bozos, and let them feel it where it hurts when they don’t, we can stop being constantly lied to and annoyed by them.

Stealthkix on January 24, 2007 at 11:45 am

IF it wasn’t for strippers YOU would be totally unkonwn!!!
Howard Stern put YOU on the map…and as we all know, HE’s no stranger to strippers.
When i was coming up as a musician, strip clubs in Jersey were the best paying gigs WE could get…payed way more than CBGB and Max’s Kansas City…although my band was fortunate that YOU wasn’t doing a routine on stage—hard to play guitar one handed whilst stroking the ol’ putz—and damn near impossible to NOT wanna rub one out while the DIVINE Ms Schlussel’s on stage;)

EminemsRevenge on January 24, 2007 at 12:49 pm

Same phrase uttered by Duke Lacrosse team.

dm60462 on January 24, 2007 at 12:51 pm

I stifle a laugh whenever I see Brad Pitt-Jolie on the cover of magazines at the checkout counter of my grocery store. Heís a no talent jackass. His only claim to fame is dumping Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie. At least Aniston is attractive, Jolie is so skanky you can smell her through the camera. Sheís so skanky she makes an East Colfax Ho’ look almost good.

Rocky on January 24, 2007 at 4:52 pm

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