October 19, 2007, - 3:56 pm

Weekend Box Office: Awesome Animated 10 Commandments Only Worthy Debut Among Much Garbage

By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATE, 10/21/07: Upon seeing “The Ten Commandments” in its entirety when I was not harried, etc., I feel I did not do it justice. I think it’s a great movie, among the TEN BEST of the year. Definitely take yourself and (if you have one) your family to see it. Way better than “Shrek” et al. ****
Lotta new movies, this weekend–most of them disgusting, bloody, and/or crappy, with the animated “The Ten Commandments” being the only worthy one for you and your family (but it’s VERY worthy):

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* “The Ten Commandments“: This animated film depicting the Biblical story of Moses and his leading the Jewish people in their exodus from Egypt is the only movie I recommend this weekend, but I recommend it highly. While the animation is about two years behind the best of animation technology, it is a fantastic movie that I can’t recommend enough. It is very true to the Biblical story. Entertaining, enjoyable, and something you can easily take your kids to see. Forget “Shrek.” This is G=d and Moses. And it does them right.
* “Rendition“: This is, as I like to say about these propaganda films, “high quality Bin Laden cinema,” but low quality to you. This film’s message is that America is the bad guy, torturing innocent, law-abiding, loving Muslims who just want to be Americans. Uh-huh. A blonde American chick misses her innocent Muslim husband, who is kidnapped by the CIA, transferred to a U.S.-allied Arabic country and tortured into confessing to be a terrorist, when he isn’t one. Meanwhile a CIA agent assigned to getting info out of him is disgusted by the torture, which he opposes. The end. Read my complete review.
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* “Things We Lost in the Fire“: More like, “Two Hours We Lost in the Theater.” Thought this would be entertaining, but it wasn’t. This long, boring, pointless movie would not make the cut at the Lifetime Channel. Halle Berry plays the wife of a wealthy man in a loving marriage, but her husband (David Duchovny) is suddenly shot to death in a tragedy. She then invites her husband’s druggie best-friend (Benicio Del Toro) to live with her, but while a relationship and sexual tension are hinted at without any action or resolution, that’s it. The end. Like I said, pointless. Lots of crying, screaming, and Lifetimes Channel fare. And a waste of time. Melodrama and histrionics, without a climax and a resolution–no plot, basically. The only good thing about this movie are the two very cute United Colors of Benetton kids who play Berry’s and Duchovny’s kids, but that ain’t enough to suffer through this drivel. A complete waste of time and $10.
* “30 Days of Night“: So bad and pointlessly bloody and disgusting, that I walked out after an hour and forty minutes in. Boy, Josh Hartnett must’ve really needed a paycheck. He stars in this absolutely awful horror movie, which is more hilarious than anything, aside from the gratuitous blood, mutilation, and violence.
A group of vampires take over and murder almost an entire small Alaskan town during the start of 30 days with no sunlight. Hartnett plays a cop who is estranged from his wife, also a cop. Together, they and a few others fight off the vampires. The vampires’ stupid, silly sounding, fake language and howling is so ridiculous, it reminds me more of Ann Heche speaking in her weird alien language, when she did an interview with ABC’s Barbara Walters about how she communicated with extraterrestrial beings. This movie is absolutely disgusting in its bloodiness and gruesome dismemberment without a point. Not actually a horror movie. Just stupid. And sick. Skip it at all cost.
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* “Gone Baby Gone“: This silly, messy “thriller” is being billed as something it’s not: exciting. Instead, it’s a Ben Affleck directed vehicle for–suprise!–his brother, Casey Affleck. It’s comical when people from Boston–the Afflecks–can’t even get a Boston accent right. The junior Affleck plays a young, inexperienced but cocky South Boston private eye who, with his girlfriend, investigates the disappearance of a 4-year-old from her druggie, drug-mule, loser mother. He works with a couple of Boston cops and a police chief (Morgan Freeman) to try to find her but has no luck. Or does he?
Besides being gratuitously violent, bloody, and disgusting for no reason, it’s just a joke of a thriller. In a good thriller, there is at least a shadow of a hint of “who done it.” In this one, the plot is so messy, so cockamamie, there are so many things and stories going on, that the “who done it” is absolutely absurd. You’d never have figured it out. Not that you’d want to. Instead, you’d rather leave the theater before it’s over.
Boring, long, depressing, and gives us zero reason to be interested in any of the characters or their pathetic lives. Like watching actors playing real-life people in a boring reality show. Blood, gore, decapitation, stabbing, etc. Why? Just to gross you out enougn to make you forget just how weak and awful this flick is. And it doesn’t succeed in making you forget that in the least.
Proof positive that Director Ben Affleck should stick to acting. Oh, wait–he can’t do that well either.
* “I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With“: Actor Jeff Garlin plays a less successful incarnation of himself in this movie about a fat, out-of-luck Chicago actor who is looking for someone to love and to love him back as he struggles to make it in showbiz. Among his love interests are the equally quirky Sarah Silverman (who is completely annoying in this movie and not in a funny way) and Bonnie Hunt. While this movie is mildly entertaining and has some good and funny lines, it is more pathetic and depressing more than anything, with zero payoff. Mostly, it’s just painful to watch. Sad. The kind of movie you’d see before you’re about to commit suicide and you want reinforcement for your decision.

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9 Responses

Hi Debbie,
Thanks for the good work.
Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Maksim-Smelchak on October 19, 2007 at 5:22 pm

Casey Affleck is only fantastic in “The Assassination of Jesse James etc.” A cinch Oscar nomination. See the movie, it’s hard to believe he can be bad in anything.

Duke on October 19, 2007 at 9:26 pm

Rendition has tanked. It opened in 9th place, with a miserable $1.4 million on Friday ($622 per screen). “Fire” did even worse, opening in 15th place ($442 per screen).
Debbie, you did it again. Nobody wants to see left-wing political propaganda. Can’t wait for “Redacted”. I’m hoping the give up on it and don’t even bother to open it in the US.
The horror movie opened #1.

sonomaca on October 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm

*Rendition has tanked. It opened in 9th place, with a miserable $1.4 million on Friday ($622 per screen). “Fire” did even worse, opening in 15th place ($442 per screen).*
I wonder how much longer Hollywood will fund left-wing movies no one wants to see because there is no possibility of “suspension of disbelief.”
Cute American blonde married to Muslim=not believable; Muslim good guy=not believable; Muslim good guy kidnapped by CIA=not believable; Americans torturing like Muslims would=not believable; Americans torturing an innocent Muslim=not believable; a Muslim who loves the U.S. and is well-assimilated=not believable.
This type of movie is impossible in real life or in realistic fiction.
There have got to be some wealthy conservatives in Hollywood that would be willing to fund realistic action thrillers with Muslims as the bad guys that would do well at the box office. I don’t understand why they won’t or can’t.

Gabe on October 20, 2007 at 5:28 pm

I think that the failure of these movies, one after another, indicates that Americans are alot more tuned in to reality than the MSM or Hollywood would have us believe.
That said, these movies are made for overseas audiences. Hollywood makes big bucks soiling the American image abroad. Irony of ironies: the left tries to blame America’s allegedly tarnished image abroad on Republicans. The Hollywood left are the ones who make foreigners allegedly hate the US. (In fact, of course, the US is popular abroad. Most people, even in Europe, would drop everything to come live in the US, given the chance).

sonomaca on October 20, 2007 at 7:24 pm

BTW: if Mark Cuban goes out of his way to promote Redacted, he’s going to be booed loudly at NBA games.

sonomaca on October 20, 2007 at 7:26 pm

Debbie – right on with the review of Things…Fire. There is a part in the movie where the widow is bored and trying to sleep. I completely emphathized! – Karl

Karl on October 21, 2007 at 12:16 am

Debbie–Have to disagree with you on “Gone Baby Gone.” While the plot IS overly complicated and probably unlikely, many items are thought-provoking, and some of the acting is good.
Freeman does phone it in, but Casey A and Michelle M get it done. Affleck’s directing is not the problem–defects are in the source material.

Red Ryder on October 21, 2007 at 5:16 pm

Hollywood is becoming as bad as the MSM News Media in promoting left winged propaganda. The way things are going, I am convinced Joe McCarthy was right about Hollywood.
Movie after movie has subtle or not so subtle in your face political messages that are at odds with the values this country was built on. They have become cheerleaders for the people that want to see this country destroyed or turned into a communist wet dream.
Ronald Reagan fought the communists influence in Hollywood and warned us what would happen if they took over the entertainment business from within.
I just fear it may be too late with the kind of Movies Hollywood is pumping out lately despite losing money at the box office.
Who is eating the loses of all of these money losing movies?
I thought they were in the business of making money?

ScottyDog on October 23, 2007 at 6:24 pm

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