October 21, 2007, - 1:38 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Yesterday, repeat criminal/rapper Snoop Dogg a/k/a Calvin Broadus turned 36. That’s 4 in hip hop years and 9 in pimp years (with apologies to 4- and 9-year-olds throughout the planet).
And in his “old” age, the pimp/ex-drug dealer/all-around renaissance scumbag is whining about the new hip hop artists who are invading his territory and not reco’nizin’ or representin’. After all, unlike Snoop’s “high brow fare,” they don’t produce “substance material” and “quality album[s]” and won’t “stand the test of time like myself.” Only in America is this kind of chutzpah by a glaring piece of garbage celebrated:
They’re not making substance material – they’re not really going into creating a sound.
It’s all about making the hot song for right now, but the artists who will stand the test of time like myself are about making records, not songs. You got to make a quality album so you can hold people’s attention. It’s like a movie. If you make a movie that got (only) one good scene, ain’t nobody gonna go see it.
Uh-huh. Like the multiple “good scenes” in Snoop Dogg’s work. My favorite one will be him doing community service for illegal weapons possession. If only there were a scene behind bars for the multiple offender.
That’s a “movie” with more than one good scene.
Lest you forget, here’s some of Snoop Dogg’s “substance material” and “quality” that he delusionally believes will “stand the test of time” (Warning: Explicit Language):
Exit Question: Since Snoop got sentenced to picking up trash, can he lift himself off the ground and into a black plastic 40-gallon bag?
“Why Ax [sic] Why?” Juice and gin, my friends.
Tags: America, Debbie Schlussel Yesterday, rapper, Snoop Dogg