November 12, 2007, - 9:52 am
By Debbie Schlussel
Mazel Tov to the Muslims for coming up with an invention of something new and unique: a car. I don’t know how I got to those movie screenings, walking every day. But now, thank G-d, er . . . Allah, Muslims have come to the rescue and brought me into the 20th Century.
Oh, and it’s not just any old car. It’s a Muslim car. Yes, that means it is not made of pork, unlike our cars from Ford and GM. And no pigskin leather seating. That just wouldn’t be halal.
But never fear. The car will, indeed, feature special Islamic characteristics, like special compartments for a Koran or a hijab (Islamic woman’s headscarf). Hmmm . . . If it’s a Muslim car, why isn’t she covering her hair with that scarf, instead of stuffing it into a compartment when she’s out of view of her honor-killing father, brothers, and hubby/owner. Does it come with special homicide bombing compartments, too? Special bonus: a complimentary copy of the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion” comes with each purchase.
Yes, this is real–no joke. More details from the French Press Agency (AFP):
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (Agence France-Presse) – Malaysia, Iran and Turkey plan to build an “Islamic car” fitted with a compass to find the direction of Mecca and a compartment to hold a Koran, the Malaysian state news agency said.
Malaysian automaker Proton’s managing director, Syed Zainal Abidin Syed Mohamed Tahir, said during a visit to Tehran that the vehicle would be aimed at the global export market.
“We will identify a car that we can develop to be produced in Malaysia, Iran or Turkey,” he told the Bernama agency in a weekend report.
“The car will have all the Islamic features and should be meant for export purposes,” he said, adding that it would feature a compartment for holding prayer scarves and the Muslim holy book, the Koran.
Mr. Syed Zainal said the initiative for the vehicle had come from the Iranians. “What they want to do is to call that an Islamic car,” he said, giving no further details.
Proton announced last week that it had won an order to supply 5,000 units of its compact Waja model to be used as taxis in Tehran as part of a $200 million program to renew public transportation in the city.
Proton has been trying to kick-start its export market as it attempts to halt a sharp decline in domestic market share and stem a series of losses ‚Äî attributed to a lack of new models and a reputation for poor quality.
It is in negotiations with German auto giant Volkswagen over an alliance that it hopes will turn its fortunes around.
Options–such as IEDs and GPS directions to Sears Tower, Vegas, nearest bridge, Disneyland, or other nearest potential infidel target–extra.
Congrats, Muslims for looking into inventing the car. I hear in about a century, you will join Al Gore’s great-grandson, Mohammed Al-Gore, and invent the Internet. Cellphones, two centuries from now, complete with compartments for beheading equipment.
I can’t wait!
Tags: Abidin Syed Mohamed Tahir, Al Gore, auto giant, Bernama, Debbie Schlussel Mazel Tov, Ford, French Press Agency, GPS, hubby/owner, Islamic Republic of Iran, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Malaysian state news agency, managing director, Mecca, Mohammed Al-Gore, Proton, Sears Tower, Syed Zainal, Syed Zainal Abidin Syed Mohamed, Tehran, the Bernama, Turkey, USD, Volkswagen