January 25, 2011, - 12:06 pm

HILARIOUS Video – HOprah Watch: Oprah Exploits Half-Sister

By Debbie Schlussel

As you may have heard, HRHSBotU [Her Royal Highness Supreme Being of the Universe] Oprah discovered she has a half-sister, one of the many kids that Mother of Oprah (or is that, “the Oprah Queen-Mother?”), Vernita Lee, had with various men to whom she wasn’t married.  And, of course, as is always the case with Oprah, no exploitable moment can go unexploited.  So, instead of releasing a statement or something to that effect as any classy celebrity would have done, Oprah did a whole show starring the tear-induced abandoned half-sister.  There’s something really sick about this whole thing, actually.  Just like Oprah did a show featuring every daytime talk show host she put out of business to rub their noses in her success, she did this show to rub the abandoned sister’s nose in it.  That’s the subtext:  mama kept me, and I had a dad, too . . . and you had to live in foster homes.  So sad, too bad, now tell it to my gawking audience, so I can laugh all the way to the bank, poor “sis.”

Jimmy Kimmel’s take on this is spot on . . . and the video is pretty funny:

oprahislam.jpg

Cha-Chingsploitation: Oprah Wants the World To Know She Has a Sister Who Had to Live in Foster Homes

(Oprah artwork by Six Meat Buffet/Preston Taylor Holmes)

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22 Responses

That was hilarious.

CaliforniaScreaming on January 25, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Debbie,

    You are such big liar. Shame on you. No body now pays attention to your barking. You are such a bitch

    Jay Mcmenamy on January 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

      So I guess you consider yourself a nobody.

      tyler on January 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm

I’d go with the “cash option” if I were Oprah II. These teary eyed family reunions can turn on a dime

Bonzer Wolf on January 25, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Maybe I’m missing something here, but isn’t a black woman stating that she has a “sister” a bit like an Italian man stating that he has a “paisan?” Theoretically, she/he has millions of them.

On a more serious note, I distinctly remember when the late comedian Steve Allen made the exact same discovery back in the 1970s…that he had a half-brother he had only discovered recently. By that time, he no longer had his own television program, so the two of them, along with wife Jayne Meadows, went on some other talk show to discuss the matter. I can’t remember which one.

Also, from what I understand, Elton John has a whole bunch of half siblings that to this day, he has never met, by choice of his snobbish father, who finds pop music to be “beneath his dignity.” He walked out on his wife and son very early on, never to be seen again.

Irving on January 25, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Also, from what I understand, Elton John has a whole bunch of half siblings that to this day, he has never met, by choice of his snobbish father, who finds pop music to be “beneath his dignity.” He walked out on his wife and son very early on, never to be seen again.

    Irving on January 25, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Reply

    Elton John could contact his half siblings now, if he wanted to, or they could contact him. Even if you grow up to be a rich pop star, being dumped by your father is a horrible trauma.

    Miranda Rose Smith on January 26, 2011 at 2:37 am

I guess Gail is PISSED

Irwin on January 25, 2011 at 1:17 pm

How exactly is Oprah a “ho”?

Systemic Failure on January 25, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Will the Foster System be re-paid?

The only ones DESERVING anything here is the loving family that gave Patricia a home and raised her… Of course, mama ignored Patricia’s desires to meet. She doesn’t want to share Oprah’s time, attention, and money.

Screw the Winfreys.

As goes Israel, so goes the World... on January 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Debbie,

I watched the Jimmy Kimmel video clip you posted.

Thanks for posting this.

The video clip is hilarious!

I laughed so hard that, had I been eating a ball of cereal or drinking a glass of milk, I’d have spit out all over the room and it would have shot out of my nose as well!

I am still chuckling at that terribly funny video clip!

Thanks for the laughs.

William on January 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Make that, “Had I been eating a bowl of cereal …. ”

Thank you.

William on January 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm

What is so amusing about the long lost sistuh is that Oprah finally gets to use this information to HER ROYAL hindass’s benefit. The story in the AP a few days ago stated that the sistah has know about Oprah since 2007 and has REPEATEDLY

wolf2012 on January 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    “Her Royal Hindass” – ROFL

    CornCo Leo on January 26, 2011 at 10:14 am

CONTINUED: The sister has repeatedly tried to contact Oprah for the past 4 years…unsuccessfully….until now. Now that this is the final year of Oprah as we know it. I’m sure Oprah has know for years about the long lost sistuh but couldn’t give a rats ass about her until now, that she found a way to exploit this information to her benefit.
She’s pulling out every juicy topic she can get her hands on, trying in vain to garner more ratings points. I suspect after a year of OWN with no money, viewers, or sponsors she will pull a Leno and move back to her old job.

wolf2012 on January 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Hee-hee, Wolf, I agree with your theory.

Gosh, this DB Winfrey (Dirty Beeotch) never stops. She is so disgusting to me, I’d never want to know her EVER. I know a billion phony-balonies, thank-you-very-much!

Isn’t it amazing how DB Winfrey was able to put the kibosh on that Kitty Kelley book? You know everyone who enforced the kibosh for DBW read it themselves.

This crazy creep is such a fraud. And her kooky Baby Mama-mama is too. You know she wants all of DB’s stash.

What a bloody fraud!!!

Skunky on January 25, 2011 at 4:01 pm

You probably think you’re really funny with your clever little pun, don’t you. Hahaha, HOprah. Excuse me for not finding it amusing, as I am many years removed from elementary school.

tractorplaneguitar on January 25, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I can’t see it! Hulu’s video galery can only be streamed within the US.
Damn you Americans! The cucaracho boy here deserves to have some fun too!

Don José Manuel Fernando Villareal de Assumpción Gomez Bolaños Smith on January 25, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    I can’t see it! Hulu’s video galery can only be streamed within the US.
    Damn you Americans! The cucaracho boy here deserves to have some fun too!

    Don José Manuel Fernando Villareal de Assumpción Gomez Bolaños Smith on January 25, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Reply

    I had the same problem.

    Miranda Rose Smith on January 26, 2011 at 2:39 am

As usual, Jimmy Kimmel nails it. I wish I could stay up later to watch his show as I’m a big fan since Win Ben Stein’s Money and most especially The Man Show.

Really, who watches that DOprah nonsense? I don’t get it, never will.

Jeff W. on January 25, 2011 at 11:17 pm

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Tanstaafl on January 26, 2011 at 2:05 pm

OK, is this woman in addition to the OTHER half-sister who Oprah actually LIVED WITH in Milwaukee when she briefly lived there with her mother, before being sent to live with her father Vernon Winfrey (who wasn’t really her father but that’s a story for another day)? ‘Cause, I read about a half-sister in the biography Kitty Kelley wrote about Oprah. The bio says that Oprah was totally out of control and was prostituting herself after school, at the ripe old age of 13 or 14. Her half-sister witnessed this behavior and turned her in to their mother, who then sent her to live with Vernon Winfrey and his wife, where she had a pretty nice, middle-class life, under the strict eye of her father – as opposed to the poverty-stricken, abused child scenario Oprah has painted about herself for years. Oprah Winfrey is such a liar. I don’t believe much of anything she says. So when I heard about this mysterious half-sister I found myself wondering if this is the same one.

DG in GA on January 26, 2011 at 5:09 pm

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