February 7, 2011, - 1:50 pm
Is a three-time ninth grade failure, who raps about raping his mother, gang-raping his 10-year-old sister, and glorifying murder of women, really the best Super Bowl spokesmodel for the non-existent “Detroit comeback?”
Detroit “Comeback” Spokesmodel and Mom/Sister-Rape Glorifier Eminem (w/ Stripper)
You are probably as sick of the Super Bowl as I am–as in, very–so this will be my last word on it, but I must respond to the hype over the Eminem ad everyone is raving over like it’s manna from heaven. More on that, below.
The Supe was a total bust from beginning to end. I thought the game–while it had its (very few) exciting moments–was mostly long, slow, and boring, and not a nail-biter, as it wasn’t even close most of the time, with the Steelers trailing for most of it. No offense to my friend, Scott Ackerson, who directs and produces NFL Sunday on FOX (and is one of the nicest and most talented of people in the sports broadcasting world), ‘cuz he has no control over the game, only the production (which was top notch but for the sound and microphones in the half-time show). But it was blah for me. The half-time show–which is tightly orchestrated and controlled by the NFL, not Ackerson–was awful. Wish I could say the “Black-Eyed Peas” are the most over-rated, talentless hacks in the music biz (especially trashy Fergie), but sadly, that’s pretty much the apt description for most acts in pop music, today.
And the ads mostly stank, too. The only ones I really liked were the Darth Vader/kid/dad ad I posted here, last week, for Volkswagen and the Snickers ad in which uber-lefty nut Roseanne gets knocked out. Too bad the cast of “The View” and ex-”View” hag Rosie O’Donnell couldn’t join her down in the mud. Unfortunately, Roseanne is laughing all the way to the bank with that.
And, then, there’s that Eminem ad. Excuse me if I’m not part of the group-think squad of mindless sheeple morons, but I’m getting a little tired of the entire Detroit–and much of the rest of the country–raving over the Chrysler 200 Detroit ad, which which sadly starred over-rated punk Eminem. Having this glorified drop-out and ranter of garbage presented as the best Detroit has to offer in its “comeback” kind of negates the message. If he’s the best Detroit has to offer, we’re in trouble. And that’s a fact. Believe me, it was not a challenge for Chrysler and its ad agency to get the streets of downtown Detroit in front of the Fox Theater emptied so Eminem could stroll in front by himself. That’s Detroit. It’s usually empty downtown at night in that location, unless something is playing there. It’s a ghost town. We are not back. Things are very bad here. And there is no recovery happening.
In the ad, the voice-over man says Detroit is not New York or the Windy City. You got that right, Mister. Neither New York nor Chicago would have to stoop as low and pick Eminem as their greatest “import” because they have and endless supply of actual humans of real talent and achievement to choose from.
And the modern white house that appears in the footage? I highly doubt that is inside the city borders. The house looks like it is on the water, and there are no waterfront houses–or any houses–that look like that within the city limits. It looks like it is somewhere in the much safer, wealthy suburbs, miles away. The Detroit Lions you see running in their Hono-loser, er . . . Honolulu blue warm-ups in the snow? They train in Allen Park, a Detroit suburb tens of miles from the City of Detroit. But those video lies are aside from my point, which is my utter disgust that Eminem is now Detroit’s official spokesmodel. And my even utterer disgust that everyone else seems to embrace human vessel of trash.
Is it just me . . . or is there something seriously wrong with the “sex symbol” of Detroit’s comeback consisting of an ignorant, low-life rapper who got his start by describing raping his mother and having a son with her, gang-raping his ten-year-old sister and killing his girlfriend/wife/ex-wife/wife/ex-wife Kim, storing her body in his car trunk? That’s not to mention that Eminem failed the ninth grade three times and never graduated high school. This is how low Chysler and Detroit have sunk. What’s next–Ron Jeremy and the Bunny Ranch for Chrysler?
If that’s cool and uplifting, count me among the proudly uncool downers. Eminem won’t bring Detroit back. And if he’s the best “imported from Detroit” product, it’s time to close the factory and turn out the lights.
Tags: Black-Eyed Peas, Chrysler, Chrysler 200, commercial, Detroit, Eminem, failed ninth grade three times, Fergie, gang rape, rape, raping his 10-year-old sister, raping his mother, Roseanne, Snickers, Super Bowl, Super Bowl Ad, Super Bowl Commercial, Superbowl