January 2, 2008, - 12:39 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
For the last several days of pre-Iowa Caucuses coverage, many of the clips of Mike Huckabee feature him playing guitar. And that’s a bad sign. When I see politicians playing musical instruments, it reminds me that they were likely wannabe rock stars and musicians who failed. So, in order to get the same rock-star like fame, they’re running for President or making Israel amputate itself to death, or both.
When I see politicians playing musical instruments, I ask myself (and them) what the heck that has to do with running a country. In one case, a Presidential candidate’s instrument playing foretold what Monica would do under the desk in the Oval Office. And regardless of that, in every case, I find the politician playing an instrument an annoying session of show-offi-ness and braggadocio that tells me they are all show and very little substance. It makes me shout at the TV, “Keep it to yourself. You just want fame and the rock star life. A better country–not so much.”
Sorry, but semi-skills at making what passes for music do not make you better equipped to run America. They just make you better equipped to play back-up for yet another Washington-area garage band of lame politico singers like Trent Lott.
It reminds me of a quote from Gene Simmons, which he unfortunately doesn’t follow himself (since he’s forever absurdly spouting off on world affairs):
We don’t comment on whales and the rain forest. We don’t try to be ambassadors to Bosnia. Duh. You need a rock star for that? Some idiot who couldn’t tune a guitar six months ago is now an environmental specialist? I blame media for giving rock stars more credence than they deserve. Why don’t they ask Al Gore how to play bass?
Well, apparently, they can ask Mike Huckabee how. And it’s just as ludicrous.
In seeing the Hucksterbee’s Joe Perry-wannabe photos, I decided to put together a tiny montage of other instrument players who’ve been in the Oval Office–either as its occupant or somebody way too close to the occupant–whom we’d have been better off without. You tell me: Did his questionable saxophone skills and her piano skills help our country any? . . .
Oh, one other thing: To those who say I’m jealous, I’m not. I took piano and know how to play. But I hated every single minute of piano lessons. The day I quit was a great day, indeed. My relatives and piano teacher said I’d regret it for the rest of my life, which I never did. I really think I would have liked the drums, though.
On a related note, have you ever seen “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T” (written and directed by the anti-Israel Dr. Seuss/Theodor Geisel)? My piano teacher was nothing like that–she is a sweet lady who was my grandmother’s best friend. But that movie–about a kid sent to an evil piano camp–was great, cute . . . and brilliant.
Tags: 000 Fingers of Dr. T, Al Gore, America, Bosnia, Debbie Schlussel, environmental specialist, Gene Simmons, Israel, Joe Perry-wannabe, Mike Huckabee, National Security Advisor/Secretary, piano teacher, politician, President, presidential candidate, relatives and piano teacher, Secretary of State, Seuss, The 5, Theodor Geisel, Trent Lott, Washington