January 11, 2008, - 1:17 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
He of the ever-changing facial hair and little else–that’s Michael “Serpenthead” Chertoff to you–finally has a plan to get experienced people in top positions at the Department of Homeland Security . . . at the END of the Bush Administration.
Wow, it finally dawned on him.
Today’s Wall Street Journal details Chertoff’s plan to make us “safer” than we’ve been during his entire tenure at Homeland Security by actually picking experienced career people in political appointee positions for the time between the outgoing Bush administration and the Hillary Rodham Cankles Administration (let’s face it, she’ll be Prez-ette).
Chertoff has decided, that although a valley girl from a Kansas City mall has been running Immigration and Customs Enforcement (into the ground) for over two years, it’s now time to pick experienced people for the several months that no-one will be in place to run things.
Chertoff claims that the early part of an administration is the most dangerous time because that’s when terrorist attacks occur and there’s no-one to “take charge.” Hmmm . . . If I were an illegal alien or a terrorist, I’d beg to differ. I’d say that the last 7 years have been the most dangerous time, especially AFTER the terrorist attacks, when this administration spent years doing all it could to cooperate with Islamist forces in not enforcing immigration laws against them and in inviting them to dinners, banquets, and soirees.
But Chertoff believes we are so safe right now that we must find adequate replacements to hold down the fort when Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Chieftess Julie Myers a/k/a “The ICE Princess” decides to finally raise her kid and quit doing her nails at a desk at the CAB building.
And here’s the cute part:
If the next administration designates new officials early enough, Mr. Chertoff said, his deputies might also be able to take their successors through an exercise “so they know what they are getting into.”
PUH-LEEZE. Can you see The ICE Princess telling a real cop how to play “Cagney & Lacy”? Or Emilio T. Gonzalez (head of Citizenship and Immigration Services)–a man who knows nothing about immigration benefits except giving awards to himself as best immigrant–giving an “exercise” to someone who actually knows how to adjudicate who should and should not get further checks into their background? Oh wait, he fired all of those people.
The only “exercises” these people know is on a Stairmaster. Well, not sure about the gym part with Gonzalez.
What’s really going on here is the incompetents appointed by Bush and Chertoff actually trying to pick who will run the show, long after Bush is out of office. And, sadly, depending on how long it takes for Cankles to appoint her people, they will have succeeded. Incompetent-ette Marcy Forman-Friedman a/k/a “Peppermint Patty,” the horrid ICE Director of Investigations, will probably “run” the show at ICE for months. Ditto for incompetents like ICE Director of Detention and Removal Operations, John Torres, who spends thousands of ICE money on self-promotion conventions and speeches by “immigration expert” Tommy Lasorda, instead of on apprehending and deporting illegal aliens.
Also interesting is that, Theresa C. Bertucci, one of the three top ICE employees and judges who gave an award to a “Blackface” Halloween costume at an ICE party, is quoted in the Wall Street Journal article. Bertucci, DHS Deputy Assistant Secretary of ICE for Management and a Chertoff crony from the Justice Department, was installed to keep an eye on the immature, incompetent Julie Myers. Hmmm . . . maybe she can give Julie Myers’ replacement an “exercise” in Blackface makeup, which she and Myers later claimed they thought was “just bronzer.”
Theresa C. Bertucci, who heads up management for Homeland Security’s immigration enforcement wing, calls the effort unique. “In my 26 years at [the Justice Department], we were sort of left to our own devices until the transition team of the new administration went in.”
I’d say they were already “left to [their] own devices” at the Halloween party. And they were rewarded for it with zero punishment. Yep, that’s who you want training your new Homeland Security temps.
Good luck, America. Mazel Tov, illegal aliens and terrorists. Michael Chertoff just picked equally incompetent replacements for those who were supposed to enforce the law against you for the last 7 years.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Tags: America, Bush, Bush administration, CAB building, Customs Enforcement, Debbie Schlussel He, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Justice, Deputy Assistant Secretary, Director of Detention and Removal Operations, Director of Investigations, Emilio T. Gonzalez, Halloween, Halloween party, head, Hillary Rodham Cankles administration, John Torres, Julie Myers, Kansas City mall, Marcy Forman-Friedman, Michael "Serpenthead" Chertoff, Princess, the Wall Street Journal, Theresa C. Bertucci, Tommy Lasorda, Wall Street Journal