February 14, 2011, - 1:07 pm
For most American women and the mainstream media, today is Valentine’s Day. But for the realists and most American men, it’s really what I call DREAD – Doghouse Risk Extra-Avoidance Day. So, to all the American men out there trying extra hard to avoid the doghouse by rushing to buy cards, chocolate, flowers, and/or a fancy dinner out, Happy DREAD. I feel for you. Yup, today is an obligation, not a manifestation of love. You have to do it, and if you don’t, you’re in trouble.
Anyone who confuses what Hallmark tells you to do–and the expectations of females who don’t appreciate your hard work and caring 364 other days of the year–with love doesn’t know what the word means. Today is something you gotta do to stay out of the doghouse. It’s not something you chose to do. It’s an expectation you must meet or meet that fury far beyond what’s in store in hell, as the saying goes.
That’s how most American men feel. I see it every year on this day around 6:00 p.m., if I’m at the local drugstore. Like clockwork at that time on Valentine’s Day, a steady stream of hurried, harried, not-too-happy-looking men are intently rushing in-and-out, in an emergency stampede to avoid the cold shoulder at home for the next month. That’s only the case for men. Today is about women. And they’re selfish. They are the recipients, not the givers. The stats show that, as men spend several times as much on their women as women do on their men. And they do it, so they can avoid the whining, no sex, and other results of not American Greeting and Hallmarking the day along with Hershey’s and FTD. If a husband or boyfriend doesn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day, I doubt he’ll be heartbroken over it . . . unless he’s gay. Just doesn’t happen.
I’ve written about this every year (including here and here), and every year it’s the same. It’s expected. And the sheeple men do it because they won’t stand up and say, “Hey, does it not occur to you when I work 365 24/7 to put food on the table and keep our house heated, that that’s love?” Yes, I know, today, many women are the workers and make more than hubby. For the men in those relationships, I’ll bet today is that much worse. They already feel less of a man (if they’re honest), and now they must show they’re more of a man by buying something when their wife/girlfriend–the bigger breadwinner–holds not just the purse, but the purse strings.
So, for me, today is always an entertaining day. So predictable. It never changes. If there’s one good thing about Valentine’s Day, it’s the billions that get pumped into a very sour American economy. But it’s out of obligation and it’s an artificial one-day-a-year thing. Nothing impactful in the long run.
And, as I’ve noted on this site before, some Hersheys you’re buying today aren’t even made here. The plant was moved to Mexico. Buying that just confirms their sorry decision to put American workers out of jobs. Ditto for the rest of DREAD candy, almost all of which is also made in Mexico.
Today has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with the trance of after-work men stopping off at the jewelry or candy store on the way home to avoid what awaits them if they show up empty handed.
Uh-huh. America’s confectioners, florists, jewelers, and restaurateurs are the pimps and pushers. Happy DREAD, American Men. You’d better buy more than a card . . . or you might not get lucky for a long time.
Tags: American Greetings, Doghouse, Doghouse Risk Extra-Avoidance Day, DREAD, Hallmark, Hershey, Hershey's, Valentine's Day