January 29, 2008, - 4:20 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Can’t let the day go by without commenting on last night’s phony State of the Union address by President Bush, thankfully his last.
There were so many lies in that speech and so many glaring omissions on the real state of the union. Here’s what he missed:
1) In six years since 9/11 and seven years since my Presidency began, America has more Muslim aliens, citizens, legal permanent residents, and travel- and student-visa holders in its midst. I helped engineer that. America is not safer, as I have chosen to bend over backwards to apologize to the religion of the 9/11 hijackers by pulling down my pants for them and bending over.
I created a giant bureacracy that has done nothing to make America safer and everything to waste taxpayer dollars, promote incompetents, and outreach to extremist Muslims. I’ve issued the same policy for all other federal law enforcement agencies. Joint falafel orgies of the absurd for the benefit of the religion of peace is standard.
2) While I have been focused on “outreach” to extremist Muslims for post-Ramadan falafel gatherings at the White House, I have allowed Iran to establish a beachhead in Nicaragua, after I allowed Daniel Ortega to be re-elected. I have also done nothing to mute the influence and counter the behavior of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela and his growing influence throughout the continent. I have completely squandered the Reagan victories in Latin America. Contras? Who cares if they are turning over in their graves.
3) I have helped encourage chaos and facilitated an assassination in Pakistan, after I pushed a criminal jihadist woman on the country’s leader after he took my side in the war on terror.
That’s just some of what he missed. Now here is the correction to the myths, Bush told:
1) “America’s students are achieving in math and reading and the sciences.”
Reality check: American students fell behind in math and science on all international exams. They stayed the same on reading over the last six years, and fell behind other Western industrialized countries. Stop lying, Mr. President. A Ted Kennedy education bill is exactly that: a recipe for disaster. But you pushed it anyway.
2) “We have spread democracy around the world to people who want freedom and peace.” Also, Bush commented about how the people of Lebanon protested and won free elections.
Oh, really. So HAMAS, Hezbollah, militant Shi’ites allied with Iran, and the Muslim Brotherhood–all of whom won control or increased positions of power in the Palestinian Authority, Iraq, Lebanon, and Egypt want freedom and peace? Thanks for the tip, dude. Glad those elections–which brought Hezbollah effective control of the country–in Lebanon brought peace and freedom. Oh, and by the way, glad you and Condi Clueless promoted free elections by sucking up to Assad in Syria. Waiting to here the election returns out of Damascus. Any minute, now. Bravo to your fantasies, Bushie.
3) “We will defend our vital interests in the Persian Gulf.”
Translation: I will pander to 9/11 hijacker enablers throughout the Gulf and defend my right to their future donations to my Presidential library and my speaking fees, just like my father did, and just like my loser brother, Neil Bush.
Our vital interests in the Gulf?: Well it’s not the Gulf, but pretty damned close, where Bush created a new country of HAMASastan, enabled Syria by sending Condi Clueless and Rep. Darrell Issa a/k/a “Jihad Darrell” to fete Assad.
Creating a greater Shi’ite revival and crescent of power for them from Iran to Lebanon? Yup, that’s our vital interest . . . if we want to commit suicide.
Helping enable the elimination of Christians and Christianity in Iraq? Yup, definitely in our interest, there. Uh-huh. ‘Cuz we need so many Christian refugees (and Muslims lying and claiming to be Christians) coming to America from the Mid-East. Mmm-hmmm.
4) “We must trust Americans to do the right thing with their money.”
Uh-huh. That’s why you’re bailing out all those who engaged in mortgage fraud in America or otherwise made bad home investments. Hezbollah mortgage fraudsters in the Dearbornistan area and elsewhere in Michigan have contributed to making Michigan one of the three highest states in terms of foreclosure rates on homes. Yes, we should stem a huge economic disaster, but within limits, not at the cost to responsible Americans.
5) “The Palestinian people have a leader, President Abbas, who is committed to democracy and opposes terrorism.”
Um, the same guy who, Sports Illustrated reported, was Arafat’s paymaster for the Munich terrorists? Yup, same guy. “Opposes terrorism.” Hilarious.
Committed to democracy? Then, he’d step down. HAMAS won. He lost. Yup, those damn elections for barbarians “who love freedom and peace” got in the way. Hello . . .?
Oh, and one last thing:
It’s still nuclear, NOT “Nookyuhler.” No President Left Behind reading skills, my friends.
And that’s the real State of the Union, George W. Disaster.
Tags: America, Arafat, Assad, Damascus, Daniel Ortega, Darrell Issa, Egypt, federal law enforcement agencies, George W. Disaster, Hamas, Hizballah, Hugo Chavez, Iraq, Islamic Republic of Iran, Lameduck President, Latin America, leader, Lebanon, Left Behind, Michigan, Munich, Muslim Brotherhood, My Lameduck, Neil Bush, Nicaragua, Pakistan, Palestinian Authority, Persian Gulf, President, Presidential Library, Ramadan, Sports Illustrated, Syria, Told Me By Debbie Schlussel, Venezuela, White House