February 3, 2008, - 1:24 pm

Supe* Sunday Odds & Ends, Open Thread: James Carville to Pollute Your Supe Screen, Petty Silent on Hillary, ICE Agents Doing NFL’s Work, Etc.

By Debbie Schlussel
I am rooting for the New York Giants in today’s Supe (I don’t want the NFL to sue me for using the word “Superbowl”–more on that below). I’m rooting for them against the almost coronated New England Patriots for several reasons:
* I generally like the underdog.
* I’m sick of the coronation hype surrounding the Pats. It’s almost like, why have the game? They’ve already won in the MSM’s minds.

superbowlxlii.jpg

nygiantshelmet.jpgpatriotshelmetflip.jpg

* Tom Brady and the Patriots have won the Supe enough times. Give someone else a chance. Tired of him and them. Three rings is enough. The fourth one for Brady should have been a wedding ring for the mother of his kid.
And I don’t want them to break the Dolphins undefeated record, as much as I also don’t like that Bob Griese dude much (though I do like Larry Csonka and Mercury Morris). Even if the record is broken, it’s not like the Dolphins spied to be undefeated. Attention, Bill Belicheater.
* As I’ve noted before, Pats coach, Bill Belichick, dresses like the Unabomber. Sartorial anti-splendor. . .
billbelichick.jpg

Fashion by the Unabomber: New England Patriots’ Bill Belichick

* Tired of all the Tom Brady hype. As you know, he’s the DebbieSchlussel.com 2007 Woman of the Year. He walked away from his out-of-wedlock kid and is anything but a role model. Yet, you rarely hear about that. Instead, you hear endless annoying stories about him and his latest supermodel girlfriend, Giselle Bundchen. Endless stories about his walking cast boot. Endless stories about him. And I’m sick of him. Enough of the pretty boy (who is a liberal Democrat–Eli Manning, QB of the Giants is a conservative Republican; how many babies has he fathered and walked away from? I’ll bet none–he’s got class).
tombrady.jpg

Woman of the Year, Tom Brady:

Shallowest Puddle on the Supe Sidewalk

Enough of Tom Brady in girlie-manish Stetson cologne ads. Enough of stories about the $1 million standing offer for him to model underwear. Enough stories about how he’s going to be the next Hollywood action star a la Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is a guy who uses more moisturizer and gel than most women. No thanks.
Hey, if the Pats do win and Brady is the game MVP, look for him to do the “I’m going to Disney World” commercial. But don’t look for him to take the kid he abandoned with him.
Who are you rooting for and why? What are your predictions. The Pats are heavily favored to win by more than 10 points.
Other Supe stories of interest and importance:
* Three cheers for Tom Petty, the halftime performer along with his Heartbreakers. Hillary Rodham Cankles Clinton used his, “American Girl,” as her New Hampshire Democratic Primary theme song. He was asked whether he favors her for the White House. His response–the rest of Hollywood take note:
tompetty.jpg

We’re not endorsing anyone. You wouldn’t want to take a guitar player’s advice on something like that.

Amen, brother. Unlike 99% of the rest, no need to tell him to shut up and sing. He gets it.
* Since you’ll likely be ingesting a lot of chips and dip during your Supe viewing, remember the “Seinfeld” episode, in which George Costanza got caught double-dipping? (Video below.)

costanzadoubledip.jpg

Not only is it a no-no, but researchers at Clemson studied the effects of double-dipping–putting your chip, pretzel, veggie, etc. back into the dip after you took a bite–and found it’s even more disgusting than you thought. Three to six double dips transferred about 10,000 bacteria from an eater’s mouth to the remaining dip sample.
YUCK!!!

* Look for the original Serpenthead (as opposed to Michael “Serpenthead” Chertoff), James Carville, to annoy you in a Coke Superbowl ad. He and Republican former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist play a game of jinx and play nice over a bottle of Coke. Get it?–“Jinx, Buy Me a Coke.”
Here’s the ad. Um, not funny:

And, sadly, this has been touted by the MSM as one of the “better” Supe ads. Just how much did ad agency Wieden+Kennedy get paid for this lame ad? Cha-groan-ching.
jamescarville.jpgcokecan2.jpg

* Churches are under fire from the NFL copyright police for showing the Superbowl and even using the name of the game in any Church flyers. Yup, the No Fun League strikes again against the Christian religion. The NFL says that not only can churches not use the name “Superbowl” to advertise Big Game parties, tonight, but churches cannot:
* Show the game on anything larger than a 55 inch screen.
* Show the game to a large gathering.
* Have any religious message delivered at halftime or anywhere throughout to party attendees.
Etc., etc., etc., ad absurdum. The League has sued churches who throw parties. Disgusting.
I’m all for protecting copyrights and intellectual property, but this is ridiculous. The NFL allows bars and restaurants to violate all these rules, but not churches. Wondering how many mosques the NFL has sued. Oh, yeah, they don’t like the Supe–no pigskin.
Also, the Superbowl is broadcast over public airwaves. If they want to restrict who shows it, they should show it on pay per view or the NFL network. But they don’t. It’s on FOX (and rotates among ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX). We own the public airwaves, not the League. I don’t believe their restrictions would hold up in court. But it takes a church with the deep pockets to take it all the way to the other Supe–the Supreme Court.
Kudos to former NFLer and conservative Democrat Congressman Heath Shuler, who announced plans to intro legislation to exempt churches from the absurd NFL police.
heathshuler.jpg

Congressman Heath Shuler: Telling the NFL to Stop Suing Churches

Clearly, the NFL has it in for Christianity. Remember all the fines for Jon Kitna when he wears a cap bearing a cross?
Read more about “G-d vs. Gridiron“.
* And while we’re on the topic of NFL police, a couple of years ago, when the Supe was in miserable Detroit, I wrote about how your immigration enforcement dollars were “at work”: Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents were busy harassing entrepreneurs on behalf of the NFL and seizing merchandise. Some of that which was seized did not even bear copyrighted material, words or designs.
Well, all of that absurdity continues with this Superbowl. ICE agents in Phoenix are all over the game, seizing that serious terrorist threat known as T-shirts and baseball caps.
If–as The ICE Princess, Julie L. Myers, claims–ICE is so strapped for cash, why the heck do ICE agents continue to act as the tax-paid private police for NFL copyright enforcement? It has ZERO nexxus to ICE’s mission. You immigration and customs enforcement tax dollars at work.
BTW, don’t be surprised if your $$$ are footing the bill for Julie Myers and her hubby to attend the big game in balmy Phoenix, all in the name of this important endeavor.
If you are an illegal alien, today (and the past week) were good times to sneak into the U.S. via Arizona. All the ICE agents are busy working for the billionaire owners and multi-millionaire players in the NFL, protecting their private interests, not yours.
alfredenewman2.jpgbrianmoskowitzwhatmeworry.jpgalfrednewman6.jpg

abumoskowitznflproperties.jpg

ICE Michigan/Ohio Special Agent in Charge Brian Moskowitz a/k/a “Abu Moskowitz”: “Enforces” Immigration Laws at Superbowl XL in Detroit

* Superbowl affirmative action contracting–ie., racism against non-“minorities”–is alive and well and enforced by the NFL in the host city of the Big Game. Don’t forget my piece on how this favored Islamists at the Detroit Superbowl XL. It’s still happening. Because 75% of the positions on the field (through real talent) is not enough for minorities. We must give them an extra leg-up, regardless of talent, off the field.

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27 Responses

I’ll join you, GO GIANTS!!! Being from around Cleveland originally I can’t help but remember how “Bel-upchuck”, with the help of the owner, destroyed one of the proudest franchises in all of sports history. Any success he had there quickly vanished when defensive coordinator Nick Sabin left to become the head coach at Michigan State. While Smell-ichek systematically dismantled the Browns’ offense, cutting veteran starters in favor of NY Giants’ wash-outs & has beens, the teams owner Art Model was busy not re-signing solid DT’s Michael Dean Perry (who was always a much better player than his more celebrated brother “The Regrigerator”) and James Jones. Model also helped Belichek hamstring the offense by shelling out big league bucks to sign Andre Rison, who would fizzle with the Browns catching less than 40 passes while the player not re-signed to make room for Rison, Eric Metcalf, would catch over 90 passes for the Atlanta Falcons the same season. Model began to cry about how he couldn’t make money, although what each team made from TV royalties exceeded the salary cap, in order to justify moving the team to Baltimore. A sad day for Browns’ fans but a great day for Cleveland – getting rid of Art Model and Bill Belichek at the same time!

CornCoLeo on February 3, 2008 at 4:24 pm

Debbie, I went to a (private) Jewish SB party tonite. I told someone I was right wing and they asked if I was in the KKK. I told them that right wing had to do with limiting the role of government and emphasizing individual responsibility, and that I considered Nazis as an example of the extreme Left. i enjoyed Tom Petty, though.

Anonymous1 on February 3, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Best ad of the night: E-Trade’s first ad with that little kid buying a stock and then spitting-up a bit (“Whoa!”) — hilarious! If you missed that one, go to MySpace and watch it again; the second E-Trade ad was just okay.
Worst ad: the Carville-Frist love fest. Reminded me of McCain sucking up to the Dhimmicrats with his every breath. Not sure what Coke was thinking; sort of like the “New” Coke of a few years ago, a total bomb.
Way to go, Eli! (And the rest of the Giants) — always love it when the “coronated” ones get their asses kicked (hmmm, now that reminds me of someone else). Brings back memories of Texas vs. USC, where the Longhorns had “no chance” of winning (tell that to Vince Young).
Debbie: I’m no expert, but I should imagine that there has never been a pair of brother/quarterbacks who have each won a Super Bowl (much less, consecutively!). Quite an accomplishment for both of the Manning kids (Archie is no doubt very proud tonight, as is their Mom!).

theendisnear on February 4, 2008 at 12:02 am

Great quote from Tom Petty. I’m a musician myself and I cannot understand why entertainers ever take political positions – all you can do is alienate part of your audience. As for their political acumen, I’ve got three words:
John Wilkes Booth.

Gary Rosen on February 4, 2008 at 12:54 am

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The idea that men think about sex every seven seconds, like the claim that we only use 10 percent of our brains, is often repeated but rarely sourced. The number doesn’t bear up against scrutiny. According to the Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male), 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month. Even though the Kinsey Report relies on men to self-report on how often they think about sex, it’s still eye opening to find that just under half of men aren’t even thinking about sex once a day. Clearly, the seven-second rule may be a tad hyperbolic.
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For as long as there’s been such thing as a ruler, men have been putting wood to, um, wood and wondering how they measure up. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You look at yourself from above and you look foreshortened,” Hemingway reassured a panicking F. Scott Fizgerald. “It is basically not a question of the size in repose. It is the size that it becomes. It is also a question of angle.”
The trouble is that most of the actual surveys of penis size are unscientific and unreliable. The Kinsey survey relied on men to report their own numbers honestly and accurately—never a good idea. (Curiously, that survey found that gay men reported having longer penises than straight men—a finding never since replicated.)
Since then, there have been numerous attempts to settle on a number: from various Web surveys to the condom company that did a survey in Cancun during spring break (“Excuse me, could you step into my office, I need to check something”). But the most rigorous studies to date found similar results—the Journal of Urology put the average penis size at 5.08 inches, and the International Journal of Impotence Research put it at 5.35 inches.
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Sex researchers are peculiar beasts. Armed with their tape measures, clipboards, surveys, and hidden cameras, they seek to provide a peephole from which to scrutinize that most private of spheres, human sexuality. What’s most surprising is that we let them in—we’re more than happy to unzip our pants and bare our private lives. Why do we do it? Maybe it’s precisely because sex is so private that we’re compelled to share. We know that without sex researchers to disseminate data about our sex lives, we’d be forced to rely upon furtive glances in the men’s room, never sure of what to add or subtract to account for the angle; upon locker room stories, never sure how many grains of skeptical salt to apply; upon porn that only leaves us feeling depressed about ourselves. So cheer up, because most of what you think you know is probably wrong. Today, sex researchers step out from behind the curtain and share the real numbers on five areas of men’s sexual health. The answers may surprise you.
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The idea that men think about sex every seven seconds, like the claim that we only use 10 percent of our brains, is often repeated but rarely sourced. The number doesn’t bear up against scrutiny. According to the Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male), 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month. Even though the Kinsey Report relies on men to self-report on how often they think about sex, it’s still eye opening to find that just under half of men aren’t even thinking about sex once a day. Clearly, the seven-second rule may be a tad hyperbolic.
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[url=http://aduristasi.ru/sexdating]adult dating free in uk[/url] The stereotype about the sex-starved man and the disinterested woman may be more than just a cliche. As it turns out, the instant a woman enters a secure relationship, her sex drive begins to plummet. Four years in, a German study found, fewer than half of women wanted regular sex. And after 20 years, only 20 percent did.
For as long as there’s been such thing as a ruler, men have been putting wood to, um, wood and wondering how they measure up. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You look at yourself from above and you look foreshortened,” Hemingway reassured a panicking F. Scott Fizgerald. “It is basically not a question of the size in repose. It is the size that it becomes. It is also a question of angle.”
The trouble is that most of the actual surveys of penis size are unscientific and unreliable. The Kinsey survey relied on men to report their own numbers honestly and accurately—never a good idea. (Curiously, that survey found that gay men reported having longer penises than straight men—a finding never since replicated.)
Since then, there have been numerous attempts to settle on a number: from various Web surveys to the condom company that did a survey in Cancun during spring break (“Excuse me, could you step into my office, I need to check something”). But the most rigorous studies to date found similar results—the Journal of Urology put the average penis size at 5.08 inches, and the International Journal of Impotence Research put it at 5.35 inches.
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