February 26, 2008, - 4:05 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATE: Many readers asked me why they shouldn’t patronize Caribou Coffee. I accidentally forgot the link. But it’s now posted below. You’ll see why Caribou is haram [forbidden] for anti-jihadists. ****
No, I’m not making it up. Those of you who live at Starbucks are going to be homeless for three hours, today.
Starbucks is closing its 7,100 stores across America, at 5:30 p.m., in an apparent attempt to stem the decline in its profits. In a statement, Starbucks said it was doing the “retraining” of all 135,000 employees to
provide a renewed focus on espresso standards that will help ensure the exceptional quality of every beverage.
For those of you who must spend $5-plus on a flavored coffee during the shutdown, remember, DON’T go to jihadist-owned Caribou Coffee instead . . . unless the idea of giving money to jihadists from the Gulf appeals to you.
For those of you reading this in Saudi Arabia, your Starbucks will still be open. And you will be free NOT to drink coffee with a person of the opposite sex to whom you are not married and/or related. And free to drink from a cup from which the Starbucks emblem of a female has been removed, so as not to turn you on sexually.
Tags: America, beverage, Caribou, Debbie Schlussel, Saudi Arabia, Starbucks, USD