April 9, 2008, - 3:25 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
. . . for all of your kind birthday wishes. I was trying to keep this “just another regular day” for me, low key (I went to the “bikini/booty boot camp” class at the gym and persisted through the gruel as on many other days). But the internet makes all private information “open secrets.” And quite a few readers have e-mailed very nice, much appreciated best wishes. Thank you.
Below is one of the two cards my late father and other family members gave me for my last birthday, which he knew would be the last card he gave me. It’s true to his sense of humor, but little did he know when he was still alive–nor did the American Greetings card makers–that the only thing scarier is not President Hillary Rodham Cankles Clinton, but President Barack Hussein Obama Al-Amriki.
While on this day, the Civil War ended with the surrender of Confederate troops in 1865, it’s also the day that, in 1942, American and Filippino troops were overwhelmed by the Japanese in Bataan during World War II, the prelude to the Bataan Death March. Check out some other historic events from this day.
Since I’m not a believer in astrology or other such new age BS, I believe that the day on which you are born is a coincidence/accident of birth, nothing else (and today, it’s a result of deliberate inducement in many births, too). After all, there are only 365 days in a year. Divide that by 300 million Americans, and about 822,000, on average, were born per day of the year. Although I definitely do have most Aries characteristics, what I find the weirdest about my birthday is the odd coincidence (though meaningless) of with whom I share it.
Today is also the birthday of one of my favorite movie stars/actors–the very hot (even at age 54) Dennis Quaid, America’s most immature and toddler-esque senior citizen–Hugh Hefner, the least attractive actress from “Sex & the City”–unwed mother and newly-lesbian Cynthia Nixon, porn star Jenna Jameson, the late Communist actor/singer Paul Robeson, former supermodel Paulina Porizkova, and assorted other celebs of legit or questionable notoriety.
So again, thanks for the best wishes. Another year G-d has allowed me to live and enjoy life and compose this site, for which I’m always thankful. And another thing to be thankful for: Another year, which you have read it. Thanks, again.
Tags: actor /singer, America, American Greetings, Barack Hussein Obama Al-Amriki, Bataan, Cynthia Nixon, Debbie Schlussel, Dennis Quaid, Hillary Rodham Cankles Clinton, Hugh Hefner, Hugh Hefner So, Jenna Jameson, least attractive actress, Paul Robeson, Paulina Porizkova, President, Sex & the City