August 22, 2007, - 10:57 am

Fred Thompson’s Pig: Insert Caption Here

By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATE: TWO MORE FRED THOMPSON PIG CAPTIONS, BELOW ****
Every so often, the Detroit Free Press editorial page has a caption contest for strange photos of various pols “in action.” Other than the one of Hillary Rodham Cankles in angry form with Ted Kennedy, I think this one, from today’s Freep, by AP photog M. Spencer Green, is my favorite. I’ve posted some of my captions below. Feel free to post yours in the comments section.

fredthompsonpig.jpg

Hmmm . . . This Might Offend Muslims. I’d Better Call My Islamofascism Consultant Spencer Abraham to Schedule a Pander Session.
Ladies and Gentleman, When I Hit the White House, Meet the New Head of Homeland Security. I Figure He Can Do as Well as Chertoff & Myers.
Reminds me of my High-Brow, Shakespearean Acting Gig as a “Roseanne” Co-Star.
Far Less Pork Than I Sought as the Junior Senator From Tennessee.
Less Artificial “Enhancement” Than Jeri Kehn Thompson. Less Mileage and Makeup, Too.
Do Pigs Need a Planned Parenthood Lobbyist? I’m Available.
Of Course, I Love Pigs. Don’t You Remember My Vote Against Convicting Bill Clinton upon Impeachment?
Just Preparing For My Debate Against Hillary.
You Think This is Pork? Wait ‘Til I Get to the White House.
Who Says Animals Aren’t Intelligent? This One is Far Smarter Than the GOP Voters Who Buy My Conservative Act.
Pig? No, I Said My Plan for the Economy is a Real Dog.
****UPDATE: Here are two more:
Lipstick on a Pig? No, I Only Wear Makeup When I’m on “Law & Order.”
Hey, Piggy, Can You Believe These Suckers Are Comparing Me to Ronald Reagan? Next, They’ll Be Comparing You to a Peacock.

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13 Responses

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ed like to introduce you to the new CAIR mascot.

porkbelly on August 22, 2007 at 11:36 am

“Squeeze ‘em ’til they squeal.”
That would make a good slogan for Gitmo.

TheOmegaMan on August 22, 2007 at 11:51 am

ha. I wonder if Rudy knows what a pig looks like? I bet he has heard the word before, probably from his Ex when she threw him out of the Mayor’s residence because he had a problem with the zipper on his pants.

aprpeh on August 22, 2007 at 12:11 pm

Fred Thompson and his former campaign manager Spencer Abraham.

Bomb Bomb Iran on August 22, 2007 at 12:12 pm

Not funny.

jsnyder82 on August 22, 2007 at 12:12 pm

Conservative humor is something that I just don’t get. Much like the half-hour news hour.
I mean, I “get” it, as in I understand it..I just don’t see how it’s funny.

ConservativesLovePuns(descent) on August 22, 2007 at 12:14 pm

“Spider-pig, spider-pig, can do anything spider can…”

Witch-king of Angmar on August 22, 2007 at 1:16 pm

Fred’s holding a muslim!

redtop on August 22, 2007 at 2:05 pm

Didn’t particularly care that Mrs. Thompson was addressed. Other than that, attempted humor in this political season is an acceptable diversion.
My entry -
‘This will look and taste good on a stick.’
SHE IS RUNNING THE CAMPAIGN AND PARADES AROUND HER SILICONE VALLEY IN LOWCUT DRESSES. THEREFORE, SHE AND HER ARTIFICIAL ENDOWMENTS ARE COMPLETELY FAIR GAME. SHE IS AS MUCH FAIR GAME AS HILLARY CLINTON WAS WHEN BILL WAS RUNNING.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

zyzzyg on August 22, 2007 at 2:54 pm

Fred Thompson meets with Rosie o’donnell to discuss liberal issues relating to his possible run for president

Steve on August 22, 2007 at 3:44 pm

Fred Thompson ‘double dares’ a muslim to touch a pig.

porkbelly on August 22, 2007 at 4:52 pm

“Hey, Piggy. They understand muslims, but they still don’t get it, do they? Love ya, Piggy.”

gringoman on August 22, 2007 at 5:25 pm

“If a presidentail run falls short, say those close to the former senator and television actor, then Thompson is considering playing the lead in a sequel to Babe….”

Jeremiah on August 22, 2007 at 8:34 pm

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