May 29, 2008, - 3:18 pm

Zohan: One of the Worst Movies EVER; Sandler Does to Israel What Hezbollah/HAMAS Could Not

By Debbie Schlussel
Dear Readers, I owe you a huge apology.
Last night, I screened, “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” the Adam Sandler Mossad agent-turns-hairdresser movie I’ve been looking forward to and promoting on this site. I apologize to you for helping promote this sickening movie.
Although I’m prohibited from reviewing it until the movie’s release, next week, I can tell you that it’s one of the most embarrassing, disgusting, horrible movies I’ve ever seen. The trailer–which is a way better movie at 2 minutes of the only good jokes–is misleading. The actual movie is like a very bad SNL skit version of “Munich,” and that’s being nice to this garbage.

zohanposter2.jpgthumbsdown2.jpg

The movie was vile and disgusting in its crude and explicit sexual exploits and rehearses every anti-Israel stereotype you hear in Bin Laden, HAMAS, and Hezbo propaganda. What Hezbollah and HAMAS couldn’t do to Israel’s image, Adam Sandler has done in wide release in American movie theaters. Mazel Tov, Adam. If I were any of these groups, I’d make this same movie.
Like the Sex and the City” movie, this one is obsessed with penises and naked butts (in this case, Adam Sandler’s penchant to exhibit his–or a body double’s).
I brought Muslim and Druze Lebanese friends who are pro-Israel to the movie, and they were disgusted, too. And embarrassed. And so was I.
And, as I predicted earlier this week, the message of the movie is that Jews and Islamic terrorists are all the same in America and all get along (a big lie). True to left-wing Hollywood form, Jews and Muslims band together to fight their common enemy–evil corporate America and White supremacists. Hmmm . . . Neither of those groups ever sent me death threats, but many American Muslims have.
Ha’Aretz reports that:

From the early production stages, Zohan was known in and around Hollywood as “the Israeli movie.” Sandler sought to fend off criticism.

Well, he certainly did that. “The Israeli movie”? PUH-LEEZE. Only if it’s HAMAS’ “Israeli movie.”
I don’t care how many free video games he’s donated to victims of Hezbollah bombings in Israel. Adam Sandler is a schmuck! And a putz.
Stay tuned for my complete review, next week.

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17 Responses

As always, thanks for the heads up. My 10 bucks are better spent in Tzedakah [DS: HEBREW FOR "CHARITY"] and renting Exodus (Paul Newman is soo hot!)

currambrooklyn on May 29, 2008 at 3:58 pm

Its too much to ask Hollywood to make a movie that presents the Islamofascist threat intelligently without doing a detour into politically correct territory. Seven years after 9/11, Hollywood is clueless about the enemy.

NormanF on May 29, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Sounds like you’re being kind to these parasites.

johndoe on May 29, 2008 at 6:15 pm

Actually, Sandler may have prophetically reviewed his own movie years earlier, in BILLY MADISON:
“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

DocLiberty on May 29, 2008 at 6:52 pm

Here, all along, I thought Adam Sandler had his head screwed on straight. Wrong. Well, he can help save Israeli children with radiation sickness after Obama becomes prez and gives A-Jad the ok to “push the button” as the famous Israeli song goes.

sonomaca on May 29, 2008 at 7:10 pm

Billy Madison was my first date with the girl who would 5 years later become Mrs. bhparkman (she goes by bhparkwoman on other sites). We’ve been married 8 years with three great children! So I guess love can conquer all!
I’m really sorry, Deb. We were all looking forward to a pro-Israel comedy, but it’s just another slam on decent folks. Again, we’re very sorry.

bhparkman on May 29, 2008 at 8:01 pm

And the self-loathing among Hollywood Jews continues unabated.

spiffo on May 29, 2008 at 8:30 pm

NormanF, “Its too much to ask Hollywood to make a movie that presents the Islamofascist threat intelligently without doing a detour into politically correct territory.”
Very easy answer….absolutely. Far too much to ask.
Still, still, still, I find it amazing that Hollyweird is so soft on this issue. If the Islamo fascists took control of this country the first ones they would execute is the ones in Hollywood and the media. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Jeff_W on May 30, 2008 at 9:39 am

Okay, Hollywood is so hypocritical and phony. They will grovel to appease Muslims to make them look sympathetic in media, and try that they to make Islam look peaceful and appealing. Totally two faced. The only back bone they have is to curse Christianity, Israel, and America.
What about movies like “Not without my daughter” or “Under Siege” with Denzel Washington and Bruce Willis? Or “Executive Decision” with Kirk Russel? All those movies were almost a prophecy about the evils of Islam. But now, wait! Now Islam is a peaceful religion? Hollywood is comprised of hyprocitical two faced grovelling phonies. “Actors” with their stupid play acting. Actors, Greek name “hyprocrate”. People need to grow up and stop funding this wicked pervse two faced Anti Israel, Anti Christian, and Anti American institution. Entertaining America while cursing her and praising her enemies.
I don’t waste my money or time on Movies Television anymore. I’m not going let a bunch of rich socialist (for themselves) hyprocritical(actors)Newage phonies losers be my truth.
Danny
[D: I DISAGREE WITH YOU ABOUT "THE SIEGE" AND "EXECUTIVE DECISION," AS BOTH CLAIM THAT THE TERRORISTS ARE A TINY GROUP WHO DON'T REPRESENT ISLAM. IN "THE SIEGE," THE MUSLIM FBI AGENT IS A REALLY GOOD GUY WHO'S TREATED BADLY, WHICH IS NOT THE REAL-LIFE VERSION OF THE MUSLIM FBI AGENT WHO IS A TRAITOR TO AMERICA, AND THERE HAVE BEEN SEVERAL. IN "EXECUTIVE DECISION," ONE OF THE MUSLIM HIJACKERS EVEN SAYS, "THIS IS NOT ISLAM," AND OPPOSES KILLING PEOPLE, WHEN WE KNOW THAT IT IS ISLAM. DS]

dannygirl on May 30, 2008 at 10:42 am

A pretty good guide to the future success or failure of a comedy is audience reaction to the trailer. I’ve seen the Zohan trailer twice in conjunction with a movie I saw and neither time did a nearly full house laugh. However, based on audience response “Hancock” will be a monster; an actually funny trailer for what appears to be a really funny movie.

Howard on May 30, 2008 at 1:45 pm

DS, I DISAGREE WITH YOU. Me and a family member were extras in “Under Siege”. I ought to know. It was under different name then. They Changed it. As they do in many movies before they come out. “Music of the heart” was originally called “50 violins”. An extra in that too.
Both Under Siege and Executive Decision were about Islamic terrorism. But they were not making a statement. It was just entertainment. A action movie. But it has become a reality now. That’s why I don’t appreciate the movies or Actors. They mock real life Deb. And they are dishonest to say the least. And we are stupid to be entertained by these two faced traitors. But at the time, I thought it was kinda racist. Family member played Arab boy.
I was in New York during the 9/11. Could see the towers burning from my window. So under Siege was a airy prophecy. He who has a ear let him here. Hollywood, film industry is a fools paradise.
Man, do you love movies way too much. And yes they did betray Islamic terrorist true to form. But, it’s not fault they really did it. In executive Decision, they Islamic Hijackers Hijacked a Air Plane just like 9/11. They wanted to “destroy the heart of the infidel” as they flew Air plane into Washington DC. Did not see this movie? It was almost a prophecy Deb. So, Sorry to offend you. Touchy.
Danny

dannygirl on May 30, 2008 at 5:55 pm

OOps! Sorry about that DS. I should have read it more carefully. Put my foot in my mouth. I’m a major bonehead.
I deeply deeply Apoligize. So sorry.
Danny

dannygirl on May 30, 2008 at 6:13 pm

c’mon- lighten up! It’s just a silly comedy! The audience at the showing I saw laughed up a storm. I’ve been to Israel many times and like many stereotypes there is a kernel of truth at the heart of them. I can’t imagine how this movie can harm Israel’s image in any way. And excuse me- just because white supremacists haven’t sent you any death threats does that make them any more acceptable? And yes Virginia, excuse me Debbie, there is at least some evil in corporate America and sometimes the little guy does get hurt. Sometimes it’s good to laugh at yourself or you may be on your way to becoming a “farbissinah alter kocker.”

jlp on June 14, 2008 at 12:08 am

are you mentally defective or something? This movie was so anti-muslim it made my head spin. I personally thought it was funny, stupid-funny but funny. But if you think this is pro-jew then you are seriously stupid not even the people playing the palestinians were Muslim it was all jews.

tumadre on August 29, 2010 at 12:36 am

ment to say pro-muslim my bad.

tumadre on August 29, 2010 at 12:36 am

Lady, you sound so dumb in trying to analize this past the satire. Get a sense of humour. Oy fucking vey!

cb on September 18, 2010 at 6:10 pm

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