February 14, 2007, - 1:26 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
The latest issue of Newsweek has a very sarcastic (has to be) piece on the annoying Anna Nicole Smith hype. Had to reprint these excerpts detailing how silly it is that this trashy woman is now being worshipped by all the media:
At 17, she married the 16-year-old cook at a fried-chicken restaurant where she was waitressing in Mexia, Texas, and soon divorced him. She left their baby boy with her mother and went to Houston to make her way as an exotic dancer in a topless bar. Stage-named “Sweet Cheeks,” she was initially put on the afternoon shift because she was a little on the zaftig side. But she made a series of important career choices. She got breast implants, sent her photos to Playboy and began flirting with J. Howard Marshall II, an octogenarian who-only in America-had taught trusts and estates at Yale Law School, made hundreds of millions in oil and lost his mistress when she died in plastic surgery. . . .
In one of several rulings, a federal judge wrote that Smith’s “illiteracy is striking.” . . . New York Magazine published a cover photo of Smith, squatting and eating Cheez Doodles, under the headline WHITE TRASH NATION. (She promptly sued for defamation; the case was dismissed.)
Yup, this is the new national heroine.
Tags: America, Anna Nicole Smith, breast implants, exotic dancer, federal judge, Houston, J. Howard Marshall II, Mexia, New York Magazine, Newsweek, Nicole Smith, oil, plastic surgery, Texas, Vickie Lynn Hogan, Yale Law School