July 21, 2008, - 2:02 pm

Advice for Men Who are Women & Women Who Are Men

By Debbie Schlussel
I’m no advice columnist, but reading the advice column, “RelationTips By Dennie Hughes,” in USA Weekend (distributed in newspapers nationwide by Gannett), makes me think I’d be way better at it then the liberal, airheaded Oprah clones out there. And Hughes inane column not only gives me an insight into the decline of masculinity, femininity, and sanity in America (far worse on all fronts than I’d earlier diagnosed), it also tells me most advice columnists in America are dolts, Ms. Hughes not excepted.
Check out these two letters from readers seeking advice. I’ve followed them with my to-the-point advice, instead of including Ms. Hughes’ soggy rejoinders.
From USA Weekend, July 4-6, 2008:

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Dear J.S.:
Being excluded from important decisions, like which pastels will dominate the floral arrangements, must be very frustrating . . . for a member of “The Village People.” Are you a subscriber to “OutWeek” magazine? No worries, though–a man interested in wedding planning looks like many things, but “bully” is not among them. Man up. Or find someone at the Liberace festival to marry in California. Then, you can do all the wedding planning you like.
Regards,
DS
From USA Weekend, June 27-29, 2008:
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Dear A. R.:
While I do like the idea of “hack Gloria Steinem and Sean Penn doll” parties, tell your friends the N.O.W. salad days are over. And the insane witchcraft and hatred of men won’t work. You and your friends really must stop overdosing on the Oprah show. People who have hacking doll parties not only deserve to be dumped, they should have never been proposed to.
BTW, if Barack Hussein Obama loses in November, will Michelle Hussein Obama will hold one of these glorious parties? Time to throw away the Ken Dolls and grow up.
Regards,
DS

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10 Responses

The man in the first article is a faggot. ANY, and I mean ANY man that wants to participate in planning a wedding is totally Liberace GAY!!!!!
The women in the second article are feminazis and deserved getting dumped or divorced.

softwaregurus on July 21, 2008 at 2:49 pm

I was busy studying Russian in the Army while my wife was making our wedding plans. Therefore, it didn’t bother me at all to be left out. We were on a tight budget, anyway.

richardzowie on July 21, 2008 at 2:50 pm

Anyone who turns to a columnist or talk show host for “advice”, has serious issues to begin with. These columns and shows are for entertainment purposes only. No one on earth gave worse advice than the grandmammy of ’em all: Abagail Van Buren

spiffo on July 21, 2008 at 3:30 pm

I’d be willing to give the groom the benefit of the doubt and assume he wants to be involved in order to keep the cost down and not put him in debt for the next 20 years.

dm60462 on July 21, 2008 at 4:56 pm

Debbie, if we were to get married, I’d only want to know when, where and does the rabbi have proper hashkofos.

Anonymous1 on July 21, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Debbie –
There are perfectly reasonable explanations for why a man might want to be involved in the planning of his wedding.
For example, I would want to make sure that my fiancee does not plan a Legend of Zelda themed wedding, which is a growing problem around the world:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1305/765750661_e53c8791c4.jpg?v=0
http://www.thegamergene.com/crunch/2007/10/zelda-ice-luge.jpg
http://www.thetanooki.com/2007/10/05/zelda-cake-becomes-the-best-cake-youve-ever-seen/

LibertarianBulbasaur on July 21, 2008 at 7:56 pm

There’s a saying out here in the land of fairytale weddings, “It’s not the bride’s wedding – it’s her mother’s!” Get over it.
As for the beat the husband parties. Forget ’em – revenge is a suckers game. Go with the shoot up terrorist propoganda parties instead. Great use of ammo and leaves you with an urge for marital sex and victory.

bhparkman on July 21, 2008 at 10:52 pm

“As for the beat the husband parties. Forget ’em – revenge is a suckers game. Go with the shoot up terrorist propoganda parties instead. Great use of ammo and leaves you with an urge for marital sex and victory.”
What the heck are you talking about?
“Hey, girls. I’m getting divorced. Let’s have a shoot the terrorist party!”
“… what?”

LibertarianBulbasaur on July 22, 2008 at 9:35 am

I think weddings are the most horrid and tortuous affairs anyone can possibly be forced to attend. I would love to attend one completely planned by a hetero man! I’m sure it will be short, casual and include drinking games!!

LoveAManInAUniform on July 22, 2008 at 4:49 pm

The man’s input should only be the date so it doesn’t coincide with the Super Bowl, hunting season, etc. It should also be close to the bride’s birthday so you only have to buy one present/year.

Blayne on July 23, 2008 at 5:19 pm

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