February 20, 2007, - 2:23 pm

If I Were One of K-Fed’s Lawyers . . .

By Debbie Schlussel
Not that I care a whit about trashy nutjob Britney Spears or her equally trashy soon-to-be ex-husband, Kevin Federline. But I do like to look at the legal aspects of things.
And if I were one of Federline’s divorce lawyers, I’d immediately subpoena a sample of Britney Spears’ newly shorn hair, now for sale for $1 million (to some idiot who has money to flush down a toilet) at BuyBritneysHair.com.
The fact is that hair is the best way to detect drug use. You can’t take a masking agent to change the documented drug use in your locks of hair. While Spears wore hair extensions, enough of it was her own hair to detect whether or not she used drugs in the last year or so.
It could be a great bit of evidence of parental non-fitness in his and her ongoing custody battle.

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3 Responses

Wonder how much YOUR shaved hair will seel for…and i don’t mean that peroxided halo on yuor head;) [BTW…won’t you feel silly IF Britney reveals that she’s now a Hassid???]
You got a lot of crap up today my dear…when are you gonna do a Schlussel investigative piece on the Sirius/XM merger…and can WE expect a regular debbie Schlussel satellite program in the near future??? [YOUR Stern solo show rocked!!!]

EminemsRevenge on February 20, 2007 at 2:37 pm

Imagine Brit had lice? EEWWWWWWWWW! And now someone bought her lice-infected coiffure? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW

KOAJaps on February 20, 2007 at 7:08 pm

There are two Jewish history books that are full of wisdom, but were only written for believers. In the older book, there is a passage that even speaks clearly to un-believers:
“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”
(Proverbs 11.22 KJV)
Ms. “trailer trash” Spears and the recently desceased “‘Ms. Piggy’ Nicole Smith xxxx…” both come to mind.

Dr.Dale on February 20, 2007 at 7:36 pm

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