October 30, 2008, - 1:37 am
By Debbie Schlussel
Meet Carey Torrice, who got giant breast implants and wants you to see them–and the rest of her exposed flesh–every chance she gets. That’s not to mention the other plastic surgery enhancements she’s reportedly had.
Did I mention she’s a Democrat elected official in Michigan who is up for re-election on Tuesday and in a tight race? Celeb website TMZ named this Detroit-area queen of skankdom, “America’s hottest politician.” She is a County Commissioner in suburban Detroit’s Macomb County.
But in the Reagan Democrat-dominated county, residents are tired of Torrice’s embarrassing antics–wearing a band-aid bottom in a photo on a stripper website (blaming “the Republicans” for a photo she proudly posed for), bragging about having a stripper pole in her bedroom to all who will listen, and showing off so much of her chest even Anna Nicole Smith is blushing six feet under. And don’t forget her appearances on “Maury”, the daily TV sleaze-fest hosted by Mr. Connie Chung a/k/a Maury Povich.
Voters don’t like sluts, or women who desperately want to play one on TV, but have chosen political office, instead. Torrice may be one of the few Michigan Democrats who won’t ride the Obama wave expected to sweep Michigan, next week. In fact, judging from her behavior and low-class couture, it might be one of the only things she hasn’t, um, “ridden.”
Torrice’s constituents long ago tired of this peroxided ditz’s wardrobe that’s more suited for a stripper than an elected official. On her website, she features photos of herself with most of her fake boobage exposed. In fact, so much of her breasts were on display that even television tabloid show “Inside Edition” put a photoshopped ribbon over them for a report on this woman who declares, amidst giggles, on national TV, “Bikinis are my favorite thing to wear. Heeheehee.”
Watch these VERY entertaining videos:
Torrice’s website features a photo of something that looks like a cross between the parlor of a brothel or strip club lounge and a Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest, bearing the caption, “Carey as an official Hottie at the Hottiefest.” She is in the center of the photo wearing stripper shoes. Then, there is the photo of Torrice standing in front of an antique shop with the caption, “Signing autographs is a great way to meet and greet with your fans.” Problem is, the only person in sight is a mother with baby strollers sitting in the distance. Fans, indeed. Girl, you’re a nobody.
And here’s a basic tip for Carey Torrice:
When you’re an elected official, they’re not fans, they’re constituents.
And your district doesn’t include Bimbo-ville.
It’s funny to hear Torrice compare herself to Sarah Palin. PUH-LEEZE. Say what you want about Sarah Palin, but she is a natural beauty without artificial enhancement. And despite her face being photoshopped onto bikini and stripper shots, Sarah Palin is always modestly and tastefully dressed, regardless of whether it was before or after the RNC paid $150,000 for clothes. Her skirt hemlines are attractive, appropriate, and never higher than just above the knee. That’s the way it’s done in politics. It’s the very clear difference between sex appeal and skankiness.
No-one wants their elected official to dress like a stripper . . . or their stripper to pretend she’s an elected official. Carey Torrice doesn’t get that there’s a difference between the two professions. You might not throw her out of bed for eating crackers, but you wouldn’t want her making any policy or tax-spending decisions.
When Republicans recently sent out campaign literature showing a stripper pole and asking whether Torrice has caused enough embarrassment to Macomb County, she responded by saying:
It’s disgusting and I think it shows very little class.
Tell it to your mirror, Carey.
But it’s not just the way she dresses in photos on her website, her stripper pole and bikinis, and the usually exposed implanted melon patch below her neck. It’s that Carey Torrice is more concerned with a showbiz career than with doing the job she was elected to do and earn the $30,000-plus in salary and benefits she is paid by taxpayers for that very part-time job. Torrice skipped showing up for work and important votes so she could go to photo shoots. That included a vote she missed on possible healthcare cuts, but she had a photo shoot in Ann Arbor. Priorities, Shmiorities.
If she really wanted to be a star, she’d move to Hollywood and become an actress-waitress. But in Hollywood, silicone-valleyed women with tons of plastic surgery, heavy make-up, and sleazy clothes are a dime a dozen. And she’d never make it. But for a narcissist who craves attention, she’s getting what she wants and what she would never achieve in “the Big-time”–notoriety and Michigan taxpayers subsidizing her low-rate part-time exploits in B-movies and C-list “Hottiefests.” She may be a skank, but in Macomb County, she’s a skanky big fish in a small pond.
The contrast between Carey Torrice and Sarah Palin isn’t the only stark one. There’s the contrast between Torrice and her opponent, Bill Revoir, a part-time Christian minister and financial planner. Revoir is a conservative, who is a family man and not opting to become Michigan’s version of Jenna Jameson. He was the incumbent Torrice beat in 2006.
And, although both MSM newspapers in Detroit endorsed the skank for re-election (it’s not a stretch to say that sex-starved men in heat make the endorsements at both papers), I predict–and hope–that, next week, Revoir will win his seat back.
So, you see, in every dark cloud there is indeed a silver lining.
I believe that one of several silver linings to the Obama Michigan tidal wave, next week, will be the overdue retirement of elected Hooters Girl Carey Torrice from politics.
Oh, and Carey, I hear Jon-Jons is hiring.