November 24, 2008, - 1:20 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
You know my thing against people who name their kids weird–and let’s face it, mostly pretentious–names. It’s a constant on this site, because idiots naming their kids idiotic names is also a constant. (See my extended commentary on these absurd names and my rules for naming a kid.)
To name a few, there was Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette’s daughter–Jillette and I sorta had it out publicly over this dumb name), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee’s kid), and Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow). And then there are those people who named their kids “Track” and “Van Palin.” You know who they are.
Now, there’s the latest in this absurd contest for lifelong child abuse (or, at least, until they are 18 and want to go through an annoying, hassle-filled legal process to change it). Pop singers Pete Wentz (he of girlie-manish manner) and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz named their son, Bronx Mowgli Wentz after the jungle kid in the loincloth from “The Jungle Book.”
Just one question: Why?
These parents, like all the others that do this, are extremely selfish and attention-hungry.
I’m actually waiting for one of these brainless couples to name their kid “Rumpelstiltskin” or “Count Chocula” or “Lollipop Licker” (Lolli for short).