November 25, 2008, - 3:32 pm

Is “Black Friday” Racist? Plus A Cool Bargain

By Debbie Schlussel
**** NOTE to the Humorless, 11/26/08: No, I’m not really being serious here. Of course, I know that “Black Friday” is not racist. I think it’s obvious, this is comedy. ****
Contrary to popular White Guilt voter belief, the election of Barack Hussein Obama did not alleviate the chip on the shoulder of certain segments of Black America. In fact, in many cases, the chip is now a boulder.
And in that vein, I ask the question we’ve all been wondering: Isn’t the term “Black Friday” racist? After all, everything bad always gets termed “dark” or “Black”. Dark Chocolate (all those flavenoids stealing their name from Flava Flav), Black Bart, Black Monday, Black September (evil Muslims killing evil Muslims, then other evil Muslims adopting the name and killing Israeli Olympians), Black licorice and jellybeans (totally racist, since cherry licorice and grape jellybeans taste way better), Jack Black (bad actor–yup, that’s racist), Black and Decker (their appliances are an example of the man oppressing us with da convenience), blacksmiths (they practically work for slave wages), black hats, Black Forest Cake (so many calories, so of course it implies Black chicks are fat), Johnnie Walker Black label (implies Blacks are whinos)–all of these are blatant examples of racist, bigoted Blaxploitation.

walgreens10inch.jpg

Buy This Cool 10-inch TV @ Walgreen’s on White Friday

But the worst is “Black Friday”–which, because of the huge bargains and doorbuster items between 4:00 a.m. and noon at a lot of retailers, implies that only Black people want a bargain.
Therefore, from now on (or at least for today), in the interest of civil rights, affirmative action, healing, and all that jazz, I am calling it White Friday. You know what happens on White Friday, right? No, I’m not talking about the shopping. I’m talking about the leftovers. On White Friday, people eat leftover pumpkin pie from Thanksgiving. Sweet potato pie leftovers?–That’s on Black Friday.
Anyway, my favorite site for looking at Black . . . er, White Friday bargains is bfads.net (they didn’t yet get the memo on the PC name change). Over the weekend, they already had scans of all the White Friday bargains at most major retailers. Check it out.
Of all the things I saw, I liked this ten inch digital TV flat screen at Walgreen’s (pictured above), which is on sale for $99 (after a $20 mail-in rebate). It’s regularly about $180. It’s cute and economical for those who don’t have a lot of space and/or can’t afford a large flat screen digital TV. Or it’s great for your kitchen. It comes with a remote.
But get there early, since at 7:00 a.m. they might all be snapped up. By the way, look at the racist photo of the woman on the TV screen. That’s a clear message to Black people not to buy it. Yup, Michelle Hussein Obama noted, America is a mean country.

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8 Responses

In support of your call today, I hereby pledge to eat nothing but White meat this Thursday; put away the blackboard (and chalk) and have the grandkids only use a whiteboard (and dry erase markers)… and change the sale at our store from “Thanksgiving Sale” to “White Sale.” So, is that doing my part Debbie or am I simply creating a White Elephant?
Jimmy Lewis
SCS, Michigan
Blog: http://rougerevival.blogspot.com/

Jimmy on November 25, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Debbie, are Obama condoms racist? Seriously, they are being sold on the sidewalks of Harlem. I guess this gives “Black Friday” a whole new meaning. Check this out, it is not a profane website.
http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=791feef03047b6eac6403cbbf3c590b9&from=rss

californiascreaming on November 25, 2008 at 4:40 pm

The “black” in “black Friday” refers to “black ink”, or the credit (+) column in bookkeeping parlance as opposed to “red ink” or a debit (-). When a business is in the “red”, it means there is a loss and the Friday after T-giving designates the start of the shopping season when many retailers make their profitability to last throughout the following year, hence when they enter the “black” or “plus” column. That is why it’s called black Friday, for anyone wondering.
[OSJ: AND IN KEEPING WITH THE HUMOR OF THIS POST, LET ME ADD THAT THE PHRASE "IN THE RED" IS RACIST AND BIGOTED AGAINST THE NATIVE AMERICANS. IT MUST BE CHANGED. DS]

ObamaSlammaJamma on November 25, 2008 at 4:50 pm

I think First Ho’, Michelle Obama, is a mean person. Imam-Elect Obama is a very angry person.

ObamaSlammaJamma on November 25, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Who didn’t see this coming? I sure did.
I guess I can’t refer to things in my own way with the word “jetblack” ether.

Squirrel3D on November 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm

Who could have known…I want to laugh but…could that be racist?

James R McKenna on November 26, 2008 at 8:16 am

This was a silly column. Why dignify the FEW ridiculous people who are offended by all things “black”?
Everybody knows that Black Friday comes from the fact that most retailers operate in the Red until the day after Thanksgiving. They begin to turn a profit, therefore they begin to operate in the Black.
Not only have I been a retail manager for 10 years, I’m also a black person who is not easily offended. Although it would be pretty funny to rename this African-American Friday.
[U: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE. I WAS MOCKING THE VICTIMOLOGISTS WHO FIND ALL THINGS TO BE "RACIST." DIDN'T MY COMMENTS ABOUT BLACK LICORICE AND BLACK FOREST CAKE TIP YOU OFF? DS]

Upway on November 26, 2008 at 8:39 am

We are not African American, black or white American, we are quite simply AMERICANS! I am part French but I do not call myself Franco American! LOL

Buff on November 26, 2008 at 10:09 am

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