December 16, 2008, - 12:43 am

Hey, PETA: Is a Snake w/Legs a Lizard or a Snake w/Legs and other Questions

By Debbie Schlussel
Hey PETA, methinks this Gumprechts Green Pitviper would make a very cool pair of stiletto pumps, purse, or wallet. It’s one of several new rare, exotic animal species just discovered in Asia’s Greater Mekong.
Or it since it’s green and a snake, it could be the perfect new HAMAS mascot, but I don’t believe in cruelty to animals (unless, of course, those animals are the HAMASniks, themselves).
In Asia, it’s “Snake . . . the Other White Meat.” So glad it ain’t kosher.

greensnake.jpg

Speaking of the reptiles in HAMAS, just curious: Is this pic, below, of “Lygosoma boehmei,” a snake with legs . . . or a lizard that just happens to look more snake-ish than lizard-esque? Or is it simply Michael “Serpenthead” Chertoff’s view in the mirror, every day? Yeah, I worshipped the ground he slithered on, too. No, not actually. In my mind, this creature looks like the snake in Genesis before G-d cut its legs off, after it got Adam to eat the apple.
snakewithlegslygosomaboehme.jpg

Since we’re talking about limp, twisted spines, no this isn’t the column in his back, it’s a spiny dragon millipede, “Desmoxytes purpurosea,” which produces cyanide in its glands. Let’s drop a ton of these babies on Gaza.
spinydragonmillipededesmoxy.jpg

And then, to my friends at PETA a/k/a PUTAh (People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans), there’s this portion of a cool, warm new jacket–an Annamite Striped Rabbit. Sorry, PETA, but I’d rather wear fur than be naked.
annamitestripedrabbit.jpg

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7 Responses

Reading you “Lima Charlie” on the comments about PETA, HAMAS and Chertoff. But, if you decide you want to be naked, most of us will not object too much.

rtaylor174 on December 16, 2008 at 4:32 am

I realize this is slightly picky, but please stop using “apple” for the fruit Adam took from Eve… it just perpetuates the error. Moses only gives us “fruit.”

bleechers on December 16, 2008 at 8:06 am

An Annamite Fur would come in handy this week, in the midst of Gorebal Warming, with record low temperatures being shattered across the U.S.
Jimmy Lewis
SCS, Michigan
Blog: http://rougerevival.blogspot.com/

Jimmy on December 16, 2008 at 8:59 am

Debbie, some Orthodox authorities have said that wearing fur is unacceptable due to the cruelty to the animals, etc, but I’m sure you have many rabbis to consult on this. Also, I can’t stop reading about the Bernie Madoff case. I’ve noticed that intentional lack of financial transparency = fraud, almost always. This scandal is what happens when morally bankrupt machers control Jewish charitable dollars: they steer them to the bad investments they find attractive that non machers like me would have avoided.
[A1: NO LEGITIMATE ORTHODOX RABBI OF ANY DEGREE OF WORTHINESS WOULD ENGAGE IN THAT BS. IT’S MOSTLY UBER-LIBERAL CONSERVATIVE AND REFORM FAUX-RABBIS WHO PRESCRIBE LIBERALISM IN PLACE OF JUDAISM. JUDAISM HAS NO PROSCRIPTION AGAINST WEARING FUR. WE ONLY BELIEVE IT’S REQUIRED TO AVOID AS MUCH ANIMAL PAIN AND CRUELTY AS IS POSSIBLE WHEN KILLING THE ANIMAL (AND EATING IT–THUS, THE KOSHER RULES). THAT’S IT. DS]

Anonymous1 on December 16, 2008 at 11:10 am

Ew, a poisonous millipede? Thank goodness it wasn’t a spider or I’d need therapy. I detest squigglies.
And that striped thing is a rabbit? Guess I’m used to the cottontails that live around here. They have much longer ears.
I wish PETA would go away and shut up. I don’t wear fur myself (by choice and allergies), but what other people do is their own business and I’m certainly not going to judge them.
Brrr, this would be a good day for a fur coat if I wouldn’t end up sneezing my head off.

mplumb on December 16, 2008 at 1:11 pm

“this creature looks like the snake in Genesis before G-d cut its legs off, after it got Adam to eat the apple”
No apple in Genesis, Deborah!

Mats on December 17, 2008 at 3:34 pm

In regards to all the “apple” comments; I am sure by now we all know the fruit remains unidentified in the Bible. Much like we all know that Santa and the Tooth Fairy do not exist. But because someone many years ago made the assumption the “fruit” was an “apple”, the idea kinda stuck. Perhaps we can not be so nit picky as Debbie tries to explain her point. I mean really, can’t we all just turn the other cheek of criticism and sillyness, since we all know the “apple” debbie spoke of represents the “fruit” moses spoke of? Let’s look past the details and pay more attention to the message!
Debbie. I loved the post. And I must say, I AGREE! I wear leather for its warmth, and incredible style. (besides, my wife digs it. She thinks Im cool) I’d wear fur, but its not my thing!
Have a great Christmas and Hannukah all of you

Jon on December 19, 2008 at 5:07 pm

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