January 21, 2009, - 1:11 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
For years, I’ve decried single mothers a/k/a baby mamas.
But now, I’m really not sure whether I’m allowed by the orthodox Palinmaniac division of conservativism to talk about the problem of single mothers anymore. Yes, I know I can write about Black baby mamas like Fantasia Barrino, as I did yesterday. And I can write about White celebrity liberal single mothers like Rosie O’Donnell and Sheryl Crow and others similarly selfish, as I’ve done over the years.
But I don’t think I’m allowed to talk about Bristol Palin, who has known she’s been pregnant for months, just had the baby, and–whaddya know?–she’s still single. I guess it has yet to dawn on Palin supporters who claim to be conservative that their precious former Veep candidate continues to support this single motherhood figuratively and financially.
Remember how we were told during the campaign that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston were going to get married, so we should look the other way regarding them, while we continue to decry the single motherhood of the rest of America? Well, they have yet to get married. What were they waiting for? What are they waiting for?
There’s really no good reason why the Palin daughter and the father of this illegitimate kid with an enormously pretentious name haven’t married yet. It’s not like Levi Johnston is off to war, serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, or something like that. In fact, I’m not actually sure what this guy does, other than take online high school correspondence courses, like the mother of his kid. Perhaps they’ve taken the trashy, selfish tack that Bristol Palin wants to get back in shape and look thin for wedding pictures, instead of the apparently less important matter of a kid actually having married parents when it is born. Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston–they went to so much trouble to put together such a hifalutin’ name for this baby, but not too much trouble to give him parents who are husband and wife.
Why is this my business, you ask? They’re kids and they’re private people. Well, not actually, since they put out press releases to People magazine and everywhere else, engaged a bidding war for the photos of their bastard kid (which snagged them $300,000), and, as you’ll recall, during the campaign the two said they’d get married, which they have yet to do. And above all, it’s our business because the mother and chief enabler and financier of all of this is Bristol Palin’s mother, a woman whom people are touting as a conservative family values person, who–with this–has demonstrated that she actually isn’t one.
And don’t tell me the empress-with-$150,000-clothing Sarah Palin has nothing to do with this. Again, she’s the enabler, financier, housing provider, and chief cheerleader of this girl. Not to mention, she happens to be her mother. I suppose she could never at any point during her daughter’s pregnancy (or now that her daughter is a single mother) have told her daughter to get married or move out and get off the teat. After all, that would look bad. And with Sarah Palin’s boundless ambition in politics, it’s more important to look good and not spur negative news stories, than do the right thing.
But I’m sure the same people who blindly follow Sarah Palin and think she’s G-d the same way Obamaniacs think the same of him, will attack me for daring to point this out. You know, the same people who bought Ann Coulter’s latest book and cheer on her chapter echoing what I and others have been saying for years–that single mothers are a national problem, not a solution. But I guess that means single mothers other than those with the surname, Palin. This is, after all, the same Ann Coulter who named Sarah Palin her conservative of the year.
I like Ann, who is usually right. But on this, she’s just a hypocrite. A hypocrite laughing all the way to the bank.
She calls single mothers, “selfish,” which they are. But she won’t dare say it about Sarah Palin and her baby mama daughter.