January 21, 2009, - 3:28 pm

Dear Johnny Knoxville . . .

By Debbie Schlussel
. . . Here’s some advice. Next time you are detained at LAX for carrying an inert grenade, say you are a Muslim. Better yet, say you are a Muslim imam. Say that you were just praying and that it was a misunderstanding by ignorant, Islamophobic Americans. And sue the heck out of everybody. Grenade, shrenade.

Authorities detained Johnny Knoxville on Thursday for allegedly bringing an inert grenade into Los Angeles International Airport. After security screeners spotted the grenade in the “Jackass” star’s carry-on luggage, a bomb squad determined it lacked a firing pin or explosive. Police say Knoxville was later released and allowed to board an American Airlines flight to Miami.


Prosecutors will decide whether to charge the 38-year-old with bringing a prohibited item into a secure area of the airport, a misdemeanor. An e-mail to Knoxville’s publicist was not immediately returned.
Knoxville, whose real name is Philip John Clapp, told officers the grenade was a prop he forgot to remove from his bag, Airport spokeswoman Nancy Castles said.

Should have told them it was a secret metal Koran. “Al-Jackass” . . . that’s the ticket.

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2 Responses

If he was a Muslim, they would probably have profusely apologized and given him back the grenade. Think I am being funny? Homeland Security is clueless 7 years after 9/11.

NormanF on January 21, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Here is what’s missing from the story that hasn’t been reported by the AP:
Meanwhile, three unidentified persons wearing burqas -witnesses assumed they were women from the sound of their voices- were waiting in line behind Johnny Knoxville yelling at the security screener for taking a long time dealing with the actor’s carry-on luggage.
After releasing the actor’s luggage, the three burqa persons were immediately given a pass, without screening, although an eye witness who speaks Arabic said that he was certain he spotted a small canister in the unzipped purse of one of the three burqa persons and that it said on it “liquid hydrogen” in Arabic.

Independent Conservative on January 21, 2009 at 5:52 pm

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