February 4, 2009, - 1:06 pm

Girlie Man Nation: Basic Grooming Tips for Men Who Don’t Wanna Look Like Chicks

By Debbie Schlussel
And now for the latest, “Men: The New Women” alert . . . .
So, this morning when I opened up the USA Today sports section, this picture, below, was staring at me. I thought it was a story about women’s basketball until I read the headline and the caption of the story.
This is B.J. Mullens who plays on the Ohio State men’s basketball team. But look at him–specifically his eyebrows. They’ve been shaped and sculpted into a woman’s eyebrows. All the masculinity has been waxed out of them. I mean, the guy looks like a cross-dresser or female impersonator who took the day off.
Yes, I know this guy is seven feet tall and very masculine. But getting his eyebrows done that way just took the wind out of his testosterone sails. He looks like a chick. It’s one thing to eliminate the beastly-looking unibrow, but guys, here’s a tip: Don’t do this (unless you’re in between “re-assignment” surgeries).

bjmullen3.jpg.jpg

Dude Looks Like a Lady: OSU Hoops Star B.J. Mullens

More of B.J. Mullens’ girlie-man brows:
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bjmullens.jpg

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16 Responses

The 7 foot girl, Mullens, also looks like he shaves his arms and chest from the pictures. If a guy shaves his chest or any part of his body besides his face and neck, it is clue he/she is definitely not a real man. We are not going to have an effective military in a few years if our nation continues to produce these type of girly men.

Gabe on February 4, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    All these dumbells who are putting young Mr. Muellins for not having thick, bushy eyebrows are total morons who are massively insecure about whatever masculinity they have, and should, in my opinion, get a life. Where is it cut in granite that an alleged “real man” has to as hairy as a bear or gorilla?

    Eric Mann on August 4, 2010 at 2:21 am

There are no men left.

sjh on February 4, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    From where did you draw your conclusion?

    Eric Mann on August 4, 2010 at 2:23 am

Is that true?
They say the taller the guy, the shorter his sexual organ.
Is there any relation between the two?
If that’s true, then a midget will have to carry his sexual organ on his shoulder.

Independent Conservative on February 4, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Wow. This post is not worth the bandwidth it occupies. I love your blog Debbie, but I can’t get in line behind your cheering section of ditto-heads on this. I don’t recognize this playerís eyebrows as having had shaping and sculpting any more than Mickey Hart’s. Hell, I’ve trimmed my brows when they become unruly, if I don’t the chick who cuts my hair will do it with the clippers and I’ll end up looking like an Egyptian whose cat just died. Of course it took over 40 years before my brow became hirsute enough to warrant a little clip-clip and this athlete is half that age.
And while I have been an Aerosmith fan since I can remember, Steven Tyler is not helping you to prove your point. Sure, the song title is apropos, but then there’s Tyler with his fabulous hair, flamboyant earrings, and all the scarves he wears. We know Steven’s ok, but if he weren’t a rocker he’d just appear gender-confused. At least the video you picked doesn’t have him in assless chaps!
Rock on Wayne, rock on Garth!

Richard on February 4, 2009 at 2:48 pm

If you’re a guy… wear a beard. The clean shaven look has devalued masculinity among men for well over a century. When men have to ape women with their facial appearance, they’ve stopped being men. There’s no testosterone flowing through clean shaven guys in our society. The Gipper should have had a beard!

NormanF on February 4, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    WHY???

    Eric Mann on August 4, 2010 at 2:26 am

Debbie,
As the arbiter of all things manly, what is an appropriate hair cut these days? The Captain Caveman look? You should do a post on this. I need a new haircut but don’t want to look like a fruit.
More on topic: how old is this Mullins kid? I didn’t grow my full, glorious simian like coat until I was 19 or 20 so I would give him a pass if he’s a freshman or some such. He does look like a lesbionic woman in the pics though. I don’t think they grow them gender confused in Canal Winchester but maybe they do now…

comment_noobiest on February 4, 2009 at 4:24 pm

This story is in really poor taste. Isn’t it possible that B.J. Mullen is an alopecia sufferer? Isn’t it possible that those eyebrows are just penciled in? I think you owe one Mr. Mullen an apology, just be sensitive about it…it may be his time of the month.
[FIMMN: HERE'S JUST A SMALL TIP: THOSE WHO SUFFER ALOPECIA DON'T HAVE FULL HEADS OF HAIR. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BROW-SPECIFIC ALOPECIA. DS]

Fairness.is.my.middle.name on February 4, 2009 at 6:39 pm

BJ Mullen is a shim. He looks like Tyne Daly.

lexi on February 4, 2009 at 9:12 pm

The emo look has hit sports. I thought the last bastion of masculinity was sports? You know jocks and testosterone. But women dress men now, which is the state of the American male…err bitch.
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/blogs/vox/media/emo.jpg

californiascreaming on February 4, 2009 at 9:46 pm

He looks like a genetic cross between Peter Pan and Lurch.If he let the distal part of his eyebrows gro back, he might not look so odd.

jmcenanly on February 4, 2009 at 10:45 pm

That’s a man? Yikes. I hate the unibrow, but that is going too far in the other direction.

mindy1 on February 5, 2009 at 3:51 pm

I believe he’s playing the young Mr. Spock in the new Star Trek movie.
No, not really.

Crusty on February 5, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Crusty, I hear the new Mr. Spock is set to be HOMOSEXUAL.

californiascreaming on February 5, 2009 at 10:29 pm

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